meeting a potential healthy male

[amt1036]

Has anyone ever had a good experience where they go out on several dates with someone, then do the talk, and actually have someone say it's ok.  I am new to this diagnoses and really dreading getting to that point.  And what if it keeps happening over and over again?  What person in their right mind would even decide to venture on this journey with me? It seems you have to develop a lot of love very quickly or be with someone who is really desperate.

[november13]

I've disclosed 6 times in the past year and haven't been rejected once! I am currently dating the BEST guy I've ever dated. He did not care AT ALL when I disclosed. If you read the 'secrets to our success' forum, you will see that many other people that have had successful disclosures too. You will get better at disclosing as time goes on and you will get better at choosing partners who are understanding. I promise you that there are plenty of people out there who won't mind, especially once you realize that you are worth it!

I used to feel the way you do--that no one would want me and I would have to date whoever would accept me, the bottom of the barrel. But herpes has actually helped me date way better guys than I dated pre-herpes. I used to date such selfish losers. Now I'm more selective (why waste a disclosure on a shithead?) and look for guys who are kind. I end things immediately when there are warning signs, which used to be when I'd start making excuses. Like they say, herpes is a great wingman!

[amt1036]

ty. But would a kind smart guy really accept this.  I will read "secrets to success" and maybe that will help.  I just keep thinking that something may be wrong with someone if they actually will accept this disease.

[november13]

Actually, I think smarter people are more likely to accept it. They're more likely to do their own research or not be so easily swayed by stigma. My guy is very smart, a post doc at an Ivy League uni. And VERY kind. It's just a virus and in most cases its just a minor inconvenience. There are lots of bad relationships we can get into that will do so much more damage. 

If you haven't yet, read stuff by Ella Dawson. Her confidence about dating & herpes really helped me. 

[jaimiegiirl]

Confidence is KEY!

[amt1036]

Ok, so I am dating a fitness nut who eats all the right foods and exercises.  He seems to be really nice and a gentleman.  Taking it slow and had 6 dates. Would a healthy guy like this really want herpes in his life though? I am thinking of dumping him just so I don't have to have the conversation.

[blistering love]

You're doing the right thing, making sure he gets to know you first! Good on you, just keep dating him.Then disclose and I'm sure he'll weigh up the risks of contracting it or losing you.I'm sure he'd chose you over a tiny chance of getting this. Just give him all the info, stats, take him to the doctors or get someone on here to chat to him- like JB. Good luck!

[ST]

I met a guy two weeks before I got my diagnosis and told him right up front. I wanted him to know so that he could be free to move in if he wanted to. We are still talking almost 5 months later. If we let go it won't be because of the diagnosis.

[justwannahide]

Thats the success im hoping for

[cowpoke02]

All good .. Condoms . guys and people don't care ..  It's every where .. Most people have it just not full blown symptoms .  still can have problems even if you stayed virgin ..  Safe sex no real worries plus behave in bad times .   good for you ..

[Scared12345]

But now do you know if you are contagious . sometimes it's hard to tell

[LillianPanos]

I was not rejected. We've been dating fir 6 weeks finally disclosed he was so pleased I was honest with him. We are bith learning...the kindest smartest well together guy i have ever met.

[LillianPanos]

Now testing inducates h1 genital not h 2...