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questions.. :(

abcdefg

By abcdefg
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abcdefg Newbie

abcdefg

Posted
Posted

Hi,

I recently found some blisters on my genitals and went to get checked out, the nurse said it was more than likely herpes...but the results haven't come back yet (I know that it is but I just can't accept it until the results come through)

basically here's my story:

I went on holiday with my friends and my boyfriend told me we were over, so I kissed three guys, nothing more.

When I got home I found out that he's slept with four girls, and kissed two.

We decided to try and make things work and slept together (unprotected) a few days later we split again and I kissed another guy and he slept with another girl (I know we both sound like real easy people but now is the time for honesty)

now he is my only partner and he's had quite a lot before me, plus the recent ones, yet he claims he's used a condom with everyone apart from me, yet two of them he performed oral sex.

Therefore I can't understand how I've gotten herpes. I know I sound stupid, but the only reason we have unprotected sex is because we both had an std text before we slept together for the first time.

Is it possible that one of us has contracted the disease even though he has used condoms...or is the only other option that he's lying? he seems to believe I may have caught it from kissing a guy, performing oral sex thus passing it 'back to myself'...it's a bit far fetched to me, yet as I say, he's always been carfeul with girls from his past. He has 1 or 2 small glands in his groin but that it for symptoms, I have blisters and glands...but I am in so much pain I can't walk :(

I know my story makes it easy to judge me but I really am devastated. I've only had one partner in my life and I've not had oral sex etc with anybody else...I can't accept that I have herpes if I don't know how I've gotten it...

I'm only 18, Ive had one sexual partner and I feel like my life is over...I literally am suicidal and I don't know how Im going to cope when I get my results...

please if anyone could give me some information on how I could have contracted the disease it would provide me with some comfort and help me accept whats happened.

I'm sorry it's so long

xxx

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Unbelievable Established Member

Unbelievable

Posted
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Unfortunately.... condoms are not 100 percent effective in the prevention of Herpes.... as it is found on areas that aren't covered by a condom... so yes it is possible to get it even if he used condoms with the other women...

I need to give you a hug... and tell you to dump that man... anyone so quick to hop into bed with other women is not worth your time..... next time around he could give you something worse than this...

I am sorry you are feeling so bad... I am sure that has a lot to do with the whole picture... the break ups... the herpes... just know that in the end herpes isn't really that big of a deal in your life... it is something that you will always have... but I think in the end.. it is just part of the baggage we all carry...

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tohealth Acknowledged Support Member

tohealth

Posted
Posted
Hi,

I recently found some blisters on my genitals and went to get checked out, the nurse said it was more than likely herpes...but the results haven't come back yet (I know that it is but I just can't accept it until the results come through)

basically here's my story:

I went on holiday with my friends and my boyfriend told me we were over, so I kissed three guys, nothing more.

When I got home I found out that he's slept with four girls, and kissed two.

We decided to try and make things work and slept together (unprotected) a few days later we split again and I kissed another guy and he slept with another girl (I know we both sound like real easy people but now is the time for honesty)

now he is my only partner and he's had quite a lot before me, plus the recent ones, yet he claims he's used a condom with everyone apart from me, yet two of them he performed oral sex.

Therefore I can't understand how I've gotten herpes. I know I sound stupid, but the only reason we have unprotected sex is because we both had an std text before we slept together for the first time.

Is it possible that one of us has contracted the disease even though he has used condoms...or is the only other option that he's lying? he seems to believe I may have caught it from kissing a guy, performing oral sex thus passing it 'back to myself'...it's a bit far fetched to me, yet as I say, he's always been carfeul with girls from his past. He has 1 or 2 small glands in his groin but that it for symptoms, I have blisters and glands...but I am in so much pain I can't walk :(

I know my story makes it easy to judge me but I really am devastated. I've only had one partner in my life and I've not had oral sex etc with anybody else...I can't accept that I have herpes if I don't know how I've gotten it...

I'm only 18, Ive had one sexual partner and I feel like my life is over...I literally am suicidal and I don't know how Im going to cope when I get my results...

please if anyone could give me some information on how I could have contracted the disease it would provide me with some comfort and help me accept whats happened.

I'm sorry it's so long

xxx

He lied. You KNOW he's lying. Nobody with that many casual sexual partners is being "careful" about anything, least of all, opportunistic sex. He isn't being careful with you so why do you think he was careful with the other females who he wasn't even in a "steady" relationship with? You should never accept a man's word about his sexual health or past sexual behavior. They will say anything. You must always protect yourself in a way that has nothing to do with what they say. You should always get tested with your future sex partner, and even when the tests come back negative, you should STILL use condoms (especially the female condoms). Getting tested doesn't tell you the coast is clear for unsafe sex, it tells you what the risk environment is for sex with this person. It doesn't mean you should stop using protection. Take care of yourself and your health first. And don't apologize for it.

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