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Here's my story...I wish this was somehow made up...


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I was just diagnosed with herpes on Monday.  I have to admit the first day was so bad I had to leave work early because I was heartbroken.  I talked to the one person that I was the most nervous to tell (my mom) and she was more supportive than I could have ever imagined.  

The past week has probably been the worse week of my life, I know that seems extreme but I just need to get this off my chest.  I started talking to a guy about 2 weeks ago and he made himself sound like the perfect guy, he was so sweet and had a good job and just seemed like a good ole country boy.  He went to a Christmas party with me and ended up coming back to my apartment and staying the night.  We woke up the next morning and just hung out and we were having a good time talking and I was thinking this guy is a good guy, we have a lot in common, maybe this is finally what I have been looking for....I couldn't have been more wrong.  He started feeling sick so we went to the store and got some stuff for his stomach, made sense he said he doesn't drink liquor a lot and we had been doing shots the night before.  That didn't help so we went back to the store, I didn't think anything about it, I just thought I need to get him something so he feels better, left my keys in the car, ran in, came back out and my car was gone.  He stole my fucking car.  After several texts and phones calls he kept telling me he was going to bring it back and he never did.  This went on for several days...a few days after I started feeling really uncomfortable below the waste, thought maybe it was just a yeast infection or maybe a uti as I'm not very sexually active I thought maybe all of the attention might have disrupted something.  Started feeling very bad, felt like I had the flu on Christmas and thought maybe part of it was just due to stress from having my car stolen.  I noticed little bumps, I went to the dr on Monday and she verified what I had already kind of diagnosed myself with, herpes...and a kidney infection on top of that....I we put on valtrex and so far it has helped tremendously. I am also having to take medicine for the kidney infection and pain medication because it feels like my back is on fire, from what I have read that is normal with a herpes outbreak.  I just wanted to get this off my chest and put my story out there, I know it was stupid to trust someone so fast but maybe someone can learn from this...just be careful out there.  Still don't have my car back but the person that stole it has texted me a few times to tell me he has dropped it off random places...I also messaged him about being diagnosed and he swore he didn't have anything....he said he had something that gave women hpv but he didn't have herpes...I told him he needed to get tested again.  

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First, call the police about the car. I can't believe he stole it... secondly welcome to hc! You have come to the right place. Many people got this virus unknowingly. 80% of the population has it in one form or another. I know how devastating it is... believe me. But I promise you it gets better. I'm sorry about the douchebag who gave it to you. I know what it feels like to have trust broken. This website has a lot of useful information and the community here is very supportive. Feel better <3 Feel free to message me anytime.

Much love,


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Hi Jlh, welcome to the site.  I am sorry that happened to you.  Kate's right, there are douchebags out there.  You do need to be careful.  I am glad you didn't get hurt.  As far as the herpes goes, educate yourself on how to live with the virus and learn what does/doesn't work for you.  We are here to help any way we can.  You are not alone and you are going to be ok.

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    • KKaren
      Thank you for your response.  I will ask for that test.
    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
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