I read some new articles, now OCD, Should I cover all herpes regions?

[Cure Researcher]

Happy new year everyone!

I hope in 2016, there will be more hopes and also strength and transition for everyone affected by herpes simplex virus.

CRISPR technology truly seems promising as well as a number of epigenetic approaches to come up with better treatment of the virus. Everyday, I am hopeful and thank the universe for the progress in biological and medical technologies. We really strongly hope that, people in FDA and big pharmaceutical industries will empathize with the afflicted, so that they will have more open and sophisticated and insensitive regulation approaches so that the world will become a more productive and hopeful place. Please do not ignore us and help us. We will give back to society, should you pay more attention to finding better treatment for this psychologically and physically painful life-long viral illness.

I was diagnosed with type 2 via PCR on my upper buttocks/sacra l region in 2015z Blood tests were somehow always negative, even after 6 months of initial diagnosis.

Everytime a herpes lesion or healed lesion or possible herpes lesion, or my skin touches my bed sheet, that my feet also touched, which stepped on blood or dried blood, or any surface that possibly had many exposures, come into contact with my skin, I panic too much. It is as if I am in a psychological loop and maze, good emotions, and subconscious strength/abilities are evaporating and I cannot have higher function flow through effortlessly in my life, because this new OCD or fear over every possibility of getting infected with HIV via herpes lesion is now damaging the quality of my life.

Over time, I was trying to come to terms with it and move on somehow, but after reading following articles, I developed fear and OCD of contracting HIV via exposure to the virus in daily lives  (not via sexual acts) and it led to me losing job loss due to anxiety attack and my life has become very difficult and non-productive ever since. I tested for HIV antibodies over 6-8 months over three times which said negative.

It was my common sense that HIV does not survive well outside the body, and risk mostly exists via unprotected sexual acts or needle/transfusion etc.

But now that I learned that HSV attracts a lot of immune cells, which are especially susceptible and specific to HIV infection nearby herpes lesions, even healed ones, and also that HIV survives in bodily fluids outside the body, for a long time, I have developed an OCD, which never existed in me before - I am constantly anxious and become unable to use public toilets, let alone go outside, due to the fear of coming into contact with invisible viruses. There are anal fluids in toilet seats (obviously), which have higher volume of HIV viruses, and my herpes lesions are not serious but they are atypical and rather widespread in my anogenital areas, especially my buttocks, thighs, legs.. And so on.

Every day, I am trying to cover up even small sores, but they are widespread, and looks very similar to my herpes lesions that tested positive via PCR. Even when I touch newspaper, or shoes, or anything that has or might have contact with other people's fingers and HIV blood or anal fluid, saliva containing invisible amount of blood or anything.. is making me afraid. I am spending so many time of the day trying to cover my lesions with 3m microprocessor tape, but I cannot cover all my body part, all possible mild herpes lesions, or small blood spots, petechiae, Angola and so on. And there is also hepatitis viruses which are more infectious outside the body compared to HIV.

Is there any of you, who have rather widespread lesions, or herpes lesions on their buttocks, but not really worry about covering up their body, but have been fine and not contracted HIV from daily life?

I used to be very outgoing, hard-working and focused, but my higher thinking abilities and grit seem to break down and my daily life seems like a battle against theoretical possibilities or fear of HIV infection. I really wish to find my life back, but I do not know how to take these researches into my life. I wish to take them with a grain of salt, and still want to go to saunas, public toilets and not put plaster over all my body, which doesn't look beautiful. I found my lover who we are trying to build life together with, and I don't want herpes to interrupt my productivity anymore.

Could someone somehow advise me on to what degree I have to cover my body? I try to wipe toilet, but then again, I cannot wipe every part of body with herpes lesions, that has those immune cells, susceptible to HIV infection, to prevent them from being exposed to HIV particles that managed to remain infectious in the environment. If I hadn't had herpes, I definitely wouldn't have worried about this, because your skin protects you and do not have those immune cells clustered, but, there are theories and statistics that points to or adds to herpes casuing HIV susceptibility via direct skin contact...

I am hoping and praying and wishing for better drugs such as HPI, LSD-1 inhibitors, vaccines and CRISPR etc.. Something more effective and something that can somehow reverse this susceptibility.

I know wiping toilet surface wouldn't perfectly kill HIV, but wouldn't that be enough if I wipe toilet every time I use, and I put plaster on most visible herpes lesions? Every time I step on something such as blood or touch dried blood mark and it touches my hand and then when it touches even small blood patch say in my leg (some people get herpes in foot also you know, and if there is herpes there should be those immune cells with CCR5 receptors, DC-SIGNs and Langerin dysfunction and so on... Would it mean that whoever with HSV-2 can get infected with HIV casually in their lives???)

I wish to connect with people, society, and also sexually, but I am scared. Herpes is taking away my dignity, security and especially what it means to be an adult - healthy sexuality to form stronger bonds, get rid of stress, and have vitality in life...

Is it OK that I can't cover all my herpes lesions with plaster? As long as I don't have sex with HIV infected?

Do you cover yourself up with plasters or just live normal life?

These researches are important in that they highlight the fact that herpes deserves more serious attentions in terms of curative researches, however, the researchers, who came up with these results, also need to reassure and consider the psycholocial repurcussions of their studies towards the afflicted. I even emailed the respectful dr. Correy, however I have not heard of any response from him.

Scientists Learn Why Even Treated Genital Herpes Sores Boost the Risk of HIV Infection

http://www.niaid.nih.gov/news/newsreleases/archive/2009/Pages/herpesHIV.aspx

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Q203152.html

http://www.aidsmap.com/Hepatitis-C-virus-dried-on-inanimate-surfaces-can-remain-infectious-for-up-to-six-weeks/page/2808006/

Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 Enhances HIV-1 Susceptibility by Affecting Langerhans Cell Function 

http://www.jimmunol.org/content/185/3/1633.full.pdf

Survival outside the body (HIV virus)

http://www.aidsmap.com/Survival-outside-the-body/page/1321278/

Edited January 3, 2016 by Cure Researcher

[Free73]

That was difficult to read in that I can almost feel your fear from the manner and words you typed here.

Are you seeing a psychologist or counsellor? If not, then I respectfully recommend that you do. All of us are struggling with our diagnosis in one way or another, but I find it so sad that it has affected your life to such a degree.

I find it difficult to believe that the herpes diagnosis alone has caused you to react like this. There must have been pre-existing fear/anxiety in your life and the herpes diagnosis has merely triggered this extreme anxiety/OCD to come to the surface. I'm no expert or psychologist, but I don't think anyone suddenly develops OCD/anxiety to that degree overnight.

I don't think there is anything anyone can say or do that will give you much help on these forums. I really think you need to seek some professional help asap to start working through this stuff.

For the record, I don't cover up, I don't take any more precautions in every day life than I did before being diagnosed with herpes. I also get outbreaks on my buttocks and thighs. I have anxiety about future relationships, but I don't have any anxiety about any other health consequences of having herpes, including the risk of contracting HIV.

I wish you well, but please consider seeking some counselling to start dealing with this so that you can live as normal a life as possible again

[blistering love]

As mentioned above,you should really consider counselling and/or hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy is really good for phobias.It's not easy to get HIV, Bree Olsen slept with charlie sheen for a WHOLE year, unprotected and didn't contract HIV. Are you around someone that you suspect is HIV+ ?  If you only have lesions around your buttocks, then unless you participate in gay sex with a known HIV+ man and you have a blister that is ozzing and open then MAYBE you'll contract it. If you have sex with someone that is not your partner, and suspect that they are infact infected with HIV, then you can request PreP - depending on your location. At the end of the day it is an irrational fear, that can be resolved once you get help from people who study and treat others like you daily. I totally understand your fear, everytime i touched my underwear i would put my hands under boiling hot water for awhile.I also freaked out that i would get herpes whitlow and even decided to not continue with an aged care course because i didn't want to infect anyone.I do not have herpes whitlow,touch wood! I still continued to cover all my finger tips and suspicious lumps and bumps with band aids.I hate this virus,and i hope they find a new effective treatment and or produce an effective vaccine.  Hope you get the help you deserve! good luck, you're not alone!!

[Sanguine108]

Ok, first off, I'd like to see what these recurring "lesions" look like.

Secondly, do not worry about HIV.   HIV is not that easy to pick up.  If it equips you better to feel more at ease when you goto a public bathroom, if you get/make a lil' spray bottle with some soapy solution, spary that on the toilet and wipe it then you would be good.   HIV and HSV are among the viruses that have lipid membranes.   You introduce a surfactant to a surface where the virus is then the lipid membrane (if it hasn't already dried up and become disabled) will be disrupted and the virus will no longer be functional/infectious.

I don't know the extent of your "lesions" but there's a product called Lysine Extra by Vitanica.   It has Lysine, Astragalus, St.John's Wort, Lemon Balm Zinc, Oregon Grape Root, and Myrrh.

It's a cool formulation that addresses improving the immune response, enhances healing and regeneration of flesh and the nerves and also clears any lingering heat/agitation.

But don't stress out over this.   The people who're predisposed to HIV, who also have HSV2, are those who engage in risky behavior on a regular basis.   That is something a lot of articles fail to mention.   You would get a better idea of the personality profiles of people if you saw and experienced the people who have hsv2 and HIV.

 

[Cure Researcher]

Thank you folks so much for your sincere replies. I am very thankful. And, sanguine, thank you for your insightful perspective. I really appreciate your points of view/articles.

 

If herpes didn't increase susceptibility to other viruses, and especially, to HIV, I think I would have moved on already, because, then it would only have mild discomfort, which can be managed with antivirals and drugs. But, I don't know why I am reacting so sensitively to this. As a Korean male, my life has been so oppressed/exploited and I learned some truths about class society. And sexuality is a power to change one's destiny, and in my case it changed things for the better, because I met the love of my life, who is male from the west, Northern Europe, 25 years older than my self, and he helped me out from all injustice and exploitive situation I was facing in my life, but now that I wish to focus on building better life with him, I worry about herpes making catch something worse threatening the foundation and relationship which is precious and important in my life. I am grateful since my partner accepted me as it is, as this happened unexpectedly as our relationship was developing, and the series of unfair, painful events that happened in my life such as catching Chilean pox, having my single parent and house break down whilst I was just starting to build my career after oppressive and violent military duty, and this happened, whilst my then partner cheated on me a few times, whilst our relationship was building, but I managed to solidify our relationship. Because I really really love him, and he is thankfully very accepting and supportive of me and our relationship now. I was back stabbed at work by a colleague who took advantage of me after nights of me doing quality translation work overtime with minimum page. My life has been so hard and unfair in many aspects, and thankfully, I have found my lover and I want to build my future and re-build my career, finance and so on. Only if there is certainty, that as long as I stay in monogamous relationship with my lover who I extremely cherish and love and care for, that I won't catch something worse, then I can somehow wait and hope for better treatment and be really acrobatic, dynamic and resilient in life to achieve better goals for everyone. But the uncertainty and fear of abandonment, and my underprevileged situations and the class-society in every aspect: socio-economical and sexual, emotional, national, political, aesthetical and so on, and the series of events that made me become the vulnerable, and the weak, and the fear of not being able to live the good life and the white men I love and wish to connect with- seem to amplify my anxiety and stress. Because herpes may threaten those things I really care about- intimacy and connection with upper class white men who didn't have to see so much ugliness/exploitation injustice and pain in life. But it is the fear, because scientifically, biologically now that I am susceptible to other viruses via complex change in biology, I feel constantly ambiguous and threatened of what my sexual health status will be. Without this risk, I would have found it easier to just go out and live my life, go to toilet, de-compress, and disclose to people without much shame or insecurity inside. But it is the fear that somehow, what if one catches something else without realizing, has put me in a very debilitating mental loop and lack of performance and motivation...

There are days, when I overcome, and move on, but there are times when I feel like I've become a toddler again, isolated from 'adult' world. Sexuality, for me is part of the whole, and cannot be isolated. It is something that gives me power to bond, focus, and get rid of stress , injustice and hurt and endure hardship in my life, and it defines my adulthood- it provides the ultimate vitality and energy for me. However, somehow having risk, anxiety and uncertainties to my sexuality due to this pesky virus... truly created an extreme difficulty and pain in my life.

Some days, I don't put on any tape on my herpes lesions. And before I read those articles, I never really cared about it, and it felt OK. But now, each day, I feel uncertain and quite out of control and futile about my body and future. There are times though, when my mind overcomes, but the fact that this will be constant problem, until my symptoms decrease, or there will be better treatment, my subconscious will always somehow lack that basic security and dignity about life... That is the hardest part I think. But I think, ultimately, I have to find ways to move on, ignore all bad possibilities, and to feel good, be happy and productive and secure again - that way, for better or worse, my life will have better value and quality.

Edited January 8, 2016 by Cure Researcher

[Sanguine108]

I hear you about the struggle you've been enduring.  Life isn't easy for everyone.  But the purpose of your life isn't to glorify and satisfy your body as much as it is to glorify and grow your soul.   It's the soul work that translates into what we physically see with people.   but life is a struggle.  If there is not conflict to be had through life then where would the growth come from?   People are either faced with external stressors or internal/mental-emotional stressors.   You can't expect a "white upper class" soul's life to be all la-ti-da.  The soul's journey is a continuum from one body to the next. who knows where you'll end up next but the more one reaches for the lower, sexual areas then the lower one will go.  The higher you reach then the higher areas will be more available to you.  what you focus on will be strengthened and will provide the patterns for your future growth.  But that's of my own beliefs.

On 1/8/2016 at 11:01 PM, Cure Researcher said:

ultimately, I have to find ways to move on, ignore all bad possibilities, and to feel good, be happy and productive and secure again - that way, for better or worse, my life will have better value and quality.

So how would you do that?

Also, these lesions on your bottom, do they itch/burn or feel like cuts or anything strange?   Do you have any right now?  Do they form a certain pattern or are they randomly appearing?  ...would you post a picture of one?  I think it'd be worth sharing.

[OCD123]

You issue isn't Herpes, you are severely OCD. This is a debilitating mental disorder.  You need a therapist who specializes in OCD treatment specifically Exposure Response Prevention. There is help for you if you get the correct treatment.  I have a family member who has severe OCD and is terrified of Herpes and the thoughts and anxiety almost ruined her life.  After many months of trial and error, she is finally in the right treatment program.  Very few therapist are trained in OCD/ERP therapy.  It will get worse if you don't get the correct treatment. There are also OCD clinics like McLean and Rogers that are very effective.  She is in ERP therapy now and on the correct medication and is doing better, but it is a long process.   I know you're suffering.  I'll be praying for you.

[ksstrong338]

Have you diganosed via blood test yet?