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The nightmare the never ends


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This truly is the nightmare that never ends.

 Two months ago now I had protected sex with a partner who had genital hsv2. We only had sex one time. I have been paranoid about it since- I’ve been swabbed twice with negative results (one recently for some bumps that were probably hemorrhoids)  and had a blood test done at the 1 month mark which showed up negative for hsv1 and hsv2.

I recently started dating someone different and was honest about the possibility for me and that I could have been exposed. He did not care. We have had oral and vaginal sex without protection. On Saturday night, he gave me oral sex.

On Sunday morning, he sent me this photo. He sent me a similar photo of one single bump like that a few weeks ago but it went away and we didn’t think anything of it.


He sent me that photo three days ago and it has not gotten worse or better. Is this herpes? Did I give him this? He has never had an issue like this before. Also, if I didn’t give him this and this is just a crazy coincidence, now am I at risk AGAIN because he went down on me with this going on? I can’t believe I am now starting “Round Two” of this when I was just started to relax a little and approaching that 3 month re-testing mark.


He JUST got a blood test done yesterday (which was already scheduled before this incident) and he is actually at the clinic right now getting swabbed.

We are both EXHAUSTED, me especially, and I just want this to be over.

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It's difficult to comment based on photographs - it may or may not be herpes symptoms. There are skin conditions that show up that way which are not herpes. Regardless, he will find out a better answer through the swabs and blood tests.

Try to focus on being as healthy as you can rather than on something that you have no control over. By this point you can tell that HSV is always going to be a risk unless you get the guy to get tested before being intimate with you, and even then there is always the possibility of deception or false negatives.

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If it helps, I've also gone through it twice. The first time was the worst pain ever, but my tests came back negative because it was too soon for blood, but too late for a swab. So I went a year assuming it was something else, but then a tiny bump came back a year later and I immediately got it swabbed and blood tested, and turns out I do have it. I have gHSV1 though, a bit less recurring. The picture kinda looks like a cold sore, but typically it takes more than a day to show up. My first outbreak happened 3 days after sex. I would definitely keep up with his test results if yours are still questionable, and then go from there. Just stop googling (we've all done it, and it makes it sooo much worse) and be patient. If it is herpes, there's nothing you can do to change it now, so just don't stress it and keep getting tested monthly if you feel you need to. 

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