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Just got the news

SaminTO

By SaminTO
in Newly Diagnosed

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SaminTO Honeycomb Member

SaminTO

Posted
Posted

Welp

So I just got the confirmation that I have HSV2 and I kind of just feel numb.

I'm a 22 y/o male, I was always careful and I just can't believe this happened to me. I just graduated, I have a great job, I was getting ready to move out, it felt like my life was just about to start and now I just don't know what to do. 

The pain/itchiness isn't that bad for me, luckily I'm responding well to the anti-virals and the outbreak cleared very quickly.  I think the main thing bugging me is relationships. I can't imagine why a healthy female would want to date me when there are so many other healthy males out there, I just feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life :(. Looking at how guys are much more likely to pass it on to a partner vs. females doesn't help either as that just stresses me out, I couldn't give this to someone I cared about, how could I put them through that? I guess my only hope is that I live in a big city (Toronto) so maybe there will be other people with herpes as well/more educated. 

Also, I come from a culture that really wants you to get married young and early and all my cousins/relatives are getting married around 25-26, relatives keep telling "your next! we can't wait" blah blah blah, which is now just stressing me the hell out. I definitely can't confide in my parents, they are super conservative and would probably hate me. I don't really feel like I can talk to any of my friends either, I just don't feel comfortable telling anyone face-to-face. 

Oh and I also have a pretty stressful job, a few times during the year I know I'll be working incredibly late hours so I feel like I'm just going to cause myself a ton of outbreaks due to stress.

Sorry if it seems like I'm rambling, I just wanted to get this out there, I just feel really alone. If it wasn't for finding this place I honestly don't know what I would have done. I guess I'm just looking for some comforting words, I don't know how I made it through this week its all been one big haze...

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Acesheart Platinum Support Member

Acesheart

Posted
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Hey Samin TO, welcome sweetheart :) ! No honey your NOT alone here. I've had Ghsv 2 for nearly 30 yrs and I'm married to a non h man. The antivirals reduce shedding , lessen chances of transmission and have kept my husband negative for over 28 yrs. I have a daughter, a degree and all I could ever have wanted so I haven't given up anything for my herpes. I was close to your age when I married my best friend who gave me herpes after 4 months of marriage by cheating, life happens right ;) ! You can have everything you dream of and more. I know of 6 couples who met on here and are NOW married. You have what sounds like a lovely life plan ahead for career and moving into your own place, enjoy these times sweetheart, you only get one shot at making the most of your youth! I stayed on antivirals for suppressive therapy 25yrs straight. I've had officially 4 outbreaks as of 2015, and I'm grateful for each day. Life is short honey, trust me, many adversities in life a hell of a lot worse ththan herpes. Been there had many and I'm here to say that herpes one-day will be the last thing on your mind.  Please take care of yourself, stay social and make dates and plans and just live, never dwell. Hugs Aces xo 

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november13 Established Member

november13

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You're not alone! It gets better. All of those great things you listed are still true. And you will still have plenty of relationships. Check out the secrets to our success forum to read about others who have been in relationships. If other people can have successful relationships, so can you! Also, if you're looking to meet people in Toronto, there are definitely others here from there. When I visited there a few months ago, I got to meet up with two. :) Oh, and don't jump to conclusions about your outbreaks! I'm always stressed and have only had one ob ever (over a year now), so you never know; everyone is different. Best of luck!

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Honda450r Honeycomb Member

Honda450r

Posted
Posted

When I was first dx a 1.5yr ago I felt the same way you do.  I have found great coping skills as working out and healthy lifestyle.  My sex life changed but for the positive being more selective even though I got ghsv2 from a fwb who I thought I knew better then myself.  

I meet a wonderful man who had many questions about hsv2 and I  answered them all.  I take a daily antiviral and vitamins. We abstain from sex when I feel that wonderful tingle.  We do not use condoms and so far I have not past on the virus.  

Love and life will continue.  Promise!!

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