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Just got diagnosed and I'm terrified


Nakedinthepond

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I just found out yesterday that I most likely have HSV2. My doctor told me that the issue with my bits looks herpecitic, and she put my on the antivirals to begin treatment. I'll know for sure by Monday. I recently had sex with a new partner on Wednesday. I had felt a little sore before we started but I had just gotten off my period and thought little of it. Now I have to tell him that I potentially have him genital herpes. We've only been dating for a few weeks and I'm terrified of how he is going to react. I feel disgusting and awful and scared and I don't know what to do.

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I wouldn't worry too much until your results are back. You have been quite vague in describing your symptoms. It could be anything! I'm guessing you've taken a blood test?

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4 hours ago, Clunk said:

I wouldn't worry too much until your results are back. You have been quite vague in describing your symptoms. It could be anything! I'm guessing you've taken a blood test?

I've got clusters of blister type things on my lower buttcheeks, close to my vulva, as well as what looks like popped blisters on my inner labia. Also between my inner and outer labia on both sides I have this weird, painful, split that runs from my hood to my taint. My doctor did a culture test yesterday, as well as testing for other stds. She said she is pretty confident its HSV. I'm also the pain is insane, I've been hovering at like a 6-7 on the pain scale for the last two days.

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Oh dear. Yes, it does sound like HSV. It is quite possible your new partner probably has HSV and either doesn't know, didn't want to disclose because of past rejections or is ignorant about viral shedding and thought providing he is not having an outbreak, he can't pass the virus on.

I'm not sure if you used a condom with this new partner or not but keep in mind, condoms merely reduce chances of passing it. I'm assuming your doctor took a swab and a blood test? When I was diagnosed, I had both tests. My swab was positive but my blood test was negative. Meaning it was an acute infection. HSV isn't detected in your blood, the antibodies your body creates to combat the virus are. They take anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks to develop enough for a blood test to detect.

If you did have a blood test and its negative but the swab is positive, it could indicate an acute infection and have contracted it from your new partner. 

You will need to tell your partner. But arm yourself with facts first! Don't be a mad/crying mess! (Hard I know as I was a train wreck for 3 months after getting diagnosed). Ask him to get tested for HSV 1 and 2. If he gives you the "I'm clean! My tests were negative!" Tell Einstein standard STD tests DO NOT screen for HSV!! Good luck. xo

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Please do some research on how to be proactive with this. I highly recommend  you find a reputable Naturopathic Doctor (ND) or Master Herbalist. There are many antivirals such as Olive Leaf Extract, Oil of Oregano, Lemon Balm that have been proven to stop replication of the virus in its initial stages. If you can stop replication you may be able to get ahead of the virus! I was told by a Master Herbalist, I found after having HSV2 for 10yrs, there was an excellent chance of killing the virus if I had treatment at early stages. With this information I was able to kill Hep C I came in contact with during a hospital surgery! Yes it still happens! Virus need us to replicate we don't need them! You are smarter than a virus!!!!!

 

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No I'm sorry, the items you mention do not have proven antiviral properties nor do they have any proven impact on the virus and its replication. The virus cannot be killed once a person is infected. 

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As I have said all along I am not a certified health professional just someone doing battle with the aid of an amazing Naturopathic Dr and Herbalist and I was passing on what I was told. I continue to believe this can be killed under the right care and circumstances at initial contact. I had to deal with Hep C contact after surgery and Allopathic Doctors told me there was nothing I could do about that! I have papers that say differently. Perhaps I was just one of the lucky ones but I believe being Proactive instead of Inactive gives us a fighting chance and yet another opportunity to learn. We are all so different in how our bodies deal with dis-ease!

I truly respect your beliefs as well. Cheers!

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1 hour ago, WilsoInAus said:

No I'm sorry, the items you mention do not have proven antiviral properties nor do they have any proven impact on the virus and its replication. The virus cannot be killed once a person is infected. 

Thank you for the honesty. I appreciate everyone commenting and giving me advice, I am aware however, that there is currently no cure for hsv. I am very glad that I found this community and forum and am able to receive support and talk to people who are going through what I am. 

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3 hours ago, Nakedinthepond said:

Thank you for the honesty. I appreciate everyone commenting and giving me advice, I am aware however, that there is currently no cure for hsv. I am very glad that I found this community and forum and am able to receive support and talk to people who are going through what I am. 

Lay off Google! Stay here for any info. Googling this c**p made things worse for me :/

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On ‎18‎/‎01‎/‎2016 at 1:43 PM, Clunk said:

Lay off Google! Stay here for any info. Googling this c**p made things worse for me :/

I second this.

I went crazy in the first two weeks researching and reading every article I could find. The end result is that my anxiety increased tenfold. When I finally accepted that I have herpes for the rest of my life, I finally stopped the anxious nonsense. When I stopped reading about it and thinking about it, my anxiety levels dropped significantly. I have no intention of taking anti-virals to suppress herpes unless I am in a relationship. We humans like to think we can find an answer to everything..........well there isn't an answer here (yet). So just get on and live your life and don't waste it experimenting with things that will complicate your life

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The reputable/factual medical sites were OK. They provide interesting facts and figures. The forums and discussion rooms is what did it for me. All the ignorant, pathetic people throwing their two cents worth about herpes talking about it like it's worse than HIV.

People asking complete randoms on the internet if they should sleep with a girl/guy they like after they disclosed being HSV carriers! F+*k me! They were decent enough to disclose because they were responsible and respected you! And that's how you repay them. Ask all the people that got infected from someone that knew but didn't disclose - either out of fear of rejection or ignorance of viral shedding. I'm sure they (like me) would have loved to have been given that option before sleeping with that person. But in saying that, a lot of us wouldn't be here then,.... Would we?

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On January 19, 2016 at 9:26 PM, Clunk said:

The reputable/factual medical sites were OK. They provide interesting facts and figures. The forums and discussion rooms is what did it for me. All the ignorant, pathetic people throwing their two cents worth about herpes talking about it like it's worse than HIV.

People asking complete randoms on the internet if they should sleep with a girl/guy they like after they disclosed being HSV carriers! F+*k me! They were decent enough to disclose because they were responsible and respected you! And that's how you repay them. Ask all the people that got infected from someone that knew but didn't disclose - either out of fear of rejection or ignorance of viral shedding. I'm sure they (like me) would have loved to have been given that option before sleeping with that person. But in saying that, a lot of us wouldn't be here then,.... Would we?

The person who infected me didn't disclose that he had been exposed to the virus until after my symptoms showed up. I was being a responsible partner and notifying the people I had slept with that it was a possibility, and he said "Jesus this is the second time in so many months that I might have been exposed to this." 

He didn't tell me it was a possibility he had it because he "wasn't showing any symptoms" and apparently his blood test was negative. The blood test he took a week after his exposure. I got so angry. But I'm trying my best to forgive. 

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Sometimes, nakedinthepond, you can't forgive. Forgiveness doesn't give you closure. All you can do is move on with life and move forward. Dwelling on what you "should have done" or in our cases "shouldn't have done" (get it?) will get you nowhere. Do I forgive my giver? No. But I just push her aside in my mind and move on with my life. There's nothing else I can do.

There's a book I can recommend ; it's called 'The happiness trap' by Dr Russ Harris. There's a lot of techniques in there to help you cope. 

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    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
    • CHT
      Hello DavidGua.... based on the two pictures, I'm not seeing anything that resembles a typical herpes outbreak.  I am not sure what those spots are on your penis.  Please have a doctor take a look and I'm sure you'll get a proper diagnosis.  Have you ever received an HSV antibody test (IgG)?  Again, I doubt your symptoms are herpes-related but, if you'd like some peace of mind, you could request the IgG antibody test for HSV2.   Best of luck.... let us know if you have any other questions/concerns.
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