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About 1 month after diagnosis, disclosure help!


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Hi all!

So I got diagnosed with Herpes Simplex 2 on New Years Day, woo 2016. On the bright side I am not too bothered by having Herpes, it is cold sore on my lady parts that sucked but now I know how to treat it. 

Well I have met someone, a guy who has real relationship potential. I am on Valtrex, 500MG a day down from 1G twice a day 3 weeks ago. I plan on having sex with him pretty soon, and I plan on disclosing before hand. I have read some great disclosure stories, very relaxed and making sure the person knows its not a big deal, but hey I want to make sure you feel comfortable with this too. Also haven't had sex since getting Herpes so this may be a different experience.

So big questions - Am I highly contagious right now, and how low are my chances of spreading while being only this far out from the 1st outbreak and being on Valtrex? I am planning on using condoms but when is there a low enough risk while staying on Valtrex to not use them? 

And the BIG QUESTION: I use humor often and I know if I drop the funny and get all serious and go "I have Herpes" it will come across as a big deal. So how do I properly incorporate humor and facts, balancing honesty, appropriateness and hey I'm telling you this because I want to have sex with you, so lucky you? 

Any advice would be excellent greatly appreciated. Thanks!


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I personally think all the statistics around herpes and transmission rates/risk is mainly BS. At the end of the day, we know that we are definitely contagious just before, during and after outbreaks. So if you haven't had an outbreak and you are taking anti virals and using protection, then you have done all you can do........the rest is luck.

Just disclose in whatever manner makes you comfortable. Humour is always a great way to break the ice, as long as it's not sarcastic. Just tell him that you are disclosing because you respect his right to make a choice.

In relation to condoms, no one can tell you that because there are no reliable statistics. I guess it's up to your partner to decide what level of risk he is prepared to accept

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