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Hello! I'm new and I found out today I tested positive for herpes. I'm looking for some support so I guess here is my story:

In November 2015 my husband of 4 years and who I've been in a relationship with for 10 years decided he no longer wanted to be married. So I moved out in January and we began the process of separating/divorce.  I'm 33 years old and have only been with one man sexually my entire life and that would be my husband. When I left I felt so alone and knew finding someone would be too soon but I decided to put myself on some online dating sites to see what is out there and determine if I could get back out there and do it again.  Around Christmas I met someone from online and we hung out and he performed oral sex on me at the beginning of January. I didn't have any symptoms or issues after that happened.  A few weeks later around the middle of January I connected with a friend I went to college with. We hung out on a Friday and Saturday and there was an instant connection we made out, he went down on me and the next weekend we had sex the following weekend on another Friday and Saturday.  That Sunday after we had sex I had a lot of pain down there and went to the doctor on Tuesday of the following week.  She said it appears to be herpes and she performed a swab test.  I was scared because I've never been with alot of men and the months following my separation I had two men perform oral sex on me. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed because that's not me and here I am in this situation.

After I went to the doctors I spoke to the guy from the beginning of January and he said he's never had a cold sore and we didn't have sex. I talked to the most recent guy and he said he was tested for herpes in November but has had cold sores but hasn't had one since college. My doctor said it was my most recent partner, but he said he's not had a cold sore in awhile so how could I get herpes from him going down on me if there are no current outbreaks?

This morning my doctor called and said my culture came back positive for herpes. I'm going to get a blood test in a few months to determine the type of have. The guy who it's more likely then not from is getting tested again on Monday and he hasn't talked to me. He doesn't have the respect to call and see how I am or to even feel bad for giving me herpes.  I'm a careful person I never put myself in this type of situation but after my marriage fell apart I guess I became desperate and I'm paying for what I choose to do.

Any support is welcome.  I'm not sure what I will do if his test comes back negative I guess I'll go after the first guy from January.

Thanks for listening. I look forward to the support this group can give me.

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You have done nothing wrong!!!!! You have every human right to pursue Companionship and Happiness! You had no idea how prevalent this virus is. So many pass it on without knowing because they are the lucky ones who have no symptoms. Viral shedding may be the culprit! Obvious sores are not always present but minuscule lesions in the mouth would be enough to spread to you. Perhaps he had genital HSV without symptoms. Every Body responds differently to it.

There are many here that have great experience and knowledge about Allopathic doctors and the specialized antivirals they have but I have no experience with that. They will be of great help to you.

I have 2 cents to throw in that is contrary to many others but this is my life choice! If you can find a Reputable, Experienced Master Herbalist, Chinese Herbalist or Naturopathic Dr (ND who uses many modalities) you can go after this virus before it sets up shop in you. I am repeating statements from my Highly Qualified Master Herbalist and brilliant Naturopath. "The virus has a chance of being stopped if it is a recent initial outbreak".  I was told this after I had it for 10yrs so did not apply to me but I had great relief with natural antivirals and homeopathics. 35 yrs now! Not trying to give false hope only sharing my personal experiences.

I admit it is hard to find an ideal practitioner who can actually do what they say so I recommend, if you go that way, find an established professional. 

If this is an older infection that was not known, it does lay dormant, you may still find effective support.

Look up Arginine to Lysine ratio in food as Arginine triggers the virus. So does Sugar and stress! You are now on a journey to better health to give your immune system everything you can to fight this!

There is a wealth of information here from very knowledgeable people who understand exactly what you are going through and want to support in any way possible. You will find what is best for you.



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