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i just found out that i have herpes, i''ve been with the same person for almost 4 years. could he have got herpes before we started dating and its just took this long to show signs?:confused:

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Yes. It is quite common for there to be latent or dormant infections that have no symptoms but are still contagious.

Or it could come from an oral infection of coldsores which can transmit the virus to you orally by kissing or genitally from oral sex practices.

condoms are not 100% effective in preventing the contraction or transmission of the herpes virus.

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thanks for the in fo


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You are having an ob because you have contracted the virus and your body is reacting to it.

If you contracted this from your current partner he could have had it for many years and just not have symptomatic outbreaks and during a time that he was asymptomatic and contagious you contracted it from him.

Or you could have contracted this in the past and you did not have symptoms until now.

One explanation could be that if either of you have ever had herpes coldsores you could have passed it to the other through kissing or oral sex.

It is not unusual to have this virus and to not have ob's or symptoms for many years.

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thank you

thanks for the info you have realy helped me my doctor told me that he had to be cheating for this to happen but i relly don't believe he has!so anyway thanks for the help:smile:

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I'm kinda new to this.. and probably not the best person to be giving advice, but from what I read... I think he should get tested (blood test)....

and even if he tests positive this does not mean he cheated on you... nor that he even knew he had it.

If i'm wrong... someone can correct me.

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It's a great idea that he be tested and unless there is legitimate reason or an admission it is never good to accuse someone of cheating.

This virus is not very well understood by most people and sadly this includes many health professionals.

One thing that is true, and you find evidence of it time and again, is that the herpes simplex virus can become dormant or latent and settle in without outbreaks or symptoms for decades and then pop up its ugly little head at the most inopportune moments.

I'd see if I could get him tested using the Western Blot blood testing even if you have to search for someone to do it. It has a reputation for detecting the virus when other tests do not.

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thanks sooo much

thank you both so much! you guys have realy put my mind at ease! this is all new to me and i just don't know anything about it so if some of my questions are stupid please look over it!thanks agian!:)

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I think everyone is correct in saying that he probably had it for years and didn't know. I have possibly had for 5 to 6 years. I was told years ago that the itching that I had it my genital region was eczema. I know now that when I would have itching and redness down there, it was a small outbreak. The only way I even found out now what it really is, is that I had a severe outbreak (probably due to stress) and went to a different doctor. Have your bf get a test. At least then you will know for sure. My husband was luckily very understanding. Good luck to you

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  • 1 month later...

going crazy

so does anyone the amount of time that you need to wait to have sex agian after an ob??and will you have more obs if you don't use any meds??maybe someone can answer thanks again everyone!!

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    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
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