Mistake

[Dorito3]

I was diagnosed with herpes several years ago and pretty much excluded myself from the dating pool. My OB said I have herpes and Iv'e only ever seen signs of it down there, not on my lips. 

A few months ago, a boy was in my apartment and he kissed me romantically several times and tried to have sex with me (i turned him down). So, I never had the chance to tell him I had HSV. (Okay, technically I did - because I knew him beforehand) but after that night I was unable to get into touch with him and tell him I had herpes. 

I feel awful about it. I feel like I (may) have given him oral herpes when I had the opportunity to tell him. I know  he's had sex with other women, but I wish I could reach out to him... but I'm also afriad that he would blame me if he did have herpes but never tested for it till I asked him to. 

From now on I'm going to disclose before it gets intimate. 

What should I do? What have you done in the past, did you tell all your past contacts that you have herpes?? 

 

[Mellisuga]

Dorito, have you read the information on our website about herpes? Please take some time and understand the virus.

From what I read, I would say that you did not give this boy herpes. Why?

1) You have herpes on your genitals.

2) 90% of the population has oral cold sores - trust me, there are plenty of people out there who will not disclose that they have cold sores.

3) What strain of HSV are on your genitals? Were you actually diagnosed? If it is HSV1 then you probably don't have herpes on your lips at all.

4) You did not have an outbreak on your lips, did you?

 

To answer your question - you were not intimate with the boy, therefore you have no reason to disclose.

Hope this helps!

[Dorito3]

I'm currently reading up on information, there's a lot to learn.

But I'm concerned because I give oral to the same man who gave me herpes a while ago, so I am pretty sure I have OHSV too. I also am uncertain about which strain I have since my physician never really discussed the results, all I got was a nurse who called me on the phone to say that I tested positive for herpes. (But I'm going to reach out to the office soon). 

I don't recall having an outbreak on my lips, but I read that it could be found on other places in side the mouth. I know, I'm paranoid lol. Part of me believes this guy has some STD, considering his history, but part of me thinks he's clean and I did something unfair and gave him OHSV by kissing him back. 

thank you for your response : ) 

Edited February 15, 2016 by Dorito3

[WilsoInAus]

Amazing thing about people with an established genital HSV infection is that they don't then get oral herpes!

you do not have oral herpes so no risk in kissing!

[Dorito3]

Wil, but I read that often people end up contracting both forms of it at the same time...? 

[WilsoInAus]

Yes but you get outbreaks at the same time if that happens.

[Dorito3]

Oh, I didn't know that! 

That's weird haha : ) 

[Dorito3]

 Would it make a difference if I had HSV1 or 2? Because I'm also seeing that each one can infect both areas but each type has their own location preference. 

Also, can a person contract both types? I'm still going through hsvblog but some info would be deeply appreciated. And how would they confirm that a cold sore is type 1 or 2, would a blood test suffice?

 

I have so many questions >.<  

[WilsoInAus]

Once a person has an established genital infection of HSV-1 or HSV-2, then they are immune from an oral infection. No one really knows why this is the case, it just is. The best theory I have heard is that if someone makes it to adulthood with contracting HSV-1 then there is something about their immune response at least in the oral region that when supported by the immune response triggered by the genital infection means an oral infection has a zero (or close to zero) chance.

[medman30s]

Your infection is on the genital area.  The virus has infected the dermatome (google this word) that distributes to your genital region.  Your body has responded by making antibodies that attack the virus.  So future exposure, for instance oral, is unlikely to become infected.  It is possible, especially for immune suppressed people (AIDS, people with organ transplants who take immune suppressant medication...) to become infected in more than one place.  For you being healthy (i assume) it is very unlikely that you have an oral infection or that you infected someone else by kissing them.  Being that you have never had an oral outbreak, I seriously doubt that there is a chance in hell.  so I say forget about it.  He may have oral herpes anyway.  As a matter of fact, it is possible that he has HSV 1 (the type that preferentially infects orally) because a high majority of adults have this, and that he could have exposed you to this strain of virus.  you can end up with HSV 1 orally and HSV 2 genitally.  Your antibodies to HSV2 do not necessarily protect you from HSV 1.  I wouldn't worry about that though but think that it is important to understand the facts.   At the end of the day, there are many people with this virus and many others.  You are not alone.  There is a stigma that sucks and symptoms suck but many people have it.  I seriously doubt you have caused him any risk and you should not worry about this.  You may want to inquire by testing if your strain is HSV 1 or 2 or both.   Hope this helps.  Don't stress it too much.  the more you learn and  time passes, this virus will seem like less of a problem. 

[WilsoInAus]

I agree with the above with one exception. HSV-2 antibodies are highly effective against HSV-1, much more so than the other way around. Hence having HSV-2 does protect you against a HSV-1 infection.

Hence once you have an established genital infection of either type, you are not at all likely to become infected orally at all.

[Dorito3]

Hello WilsiInAus and MedMan30s, in advance - thank you for the detailed replies.

Iv'e been reading a lot about HSV these past hours and it's a pretty interesting virus. I guess I'm having a harder time with the societal stigmatization of genital herpes, it really is not as bad as people say it is and is much more common that people realize. I also did not want to, morally, feel like I hurt someone when it was within my control, you know? 

I was asking about the oral/genital HSV because I read that some individuals here have both locations and/or both types. I guess it all depends on the acquisition too as well as what you both were saying about establishment. I know I definitely have GHSV, and I'm going to find out which type(s). I'll try to be more informed about this, thank you so much - it is deeply appreciated it, and you really me calm down.  : ) 

[blistering love]

Hi there! i contracted genital HSV1 and oral HSV 1 at the same time.I had a genital outbreak first, then about a month later got loverly cold sores. If you have HSV2 then its rare to get it orally, you may have HSV1 genitally and orally like me.You could have had oral herpes for decades and not know, or you could have gotten infected when you got it genitally. Lots of people have had oral cold sores and have STILL contracted it genitally.I don't trust when someone says that you can get immunity from contracting herpes in another location.Herpes likes mucus membranes, its job is to infect.Either way, it's not the end of the world, find out your strain and look after yourself! x:) 

[WilsoInAus]

That is not quite right. There is no documented case of a male with an established oral HSV-1 infection subsequently obtaining a genital infection. I have not seen a properly tested case for a male on here. There may be one or two properly tested females on here, that's all.

[Dorito3]

I think it depends on how the person acquired it.

 But, I finally got my results and I believe it says I have HSV2 only. On one of the lines it says "The incidence of HSV1 in the presence of HSV2 (dual infection) is extremely rare". But the paper is confusing haha and I am not sure if my doctor tested for both >.< 

[WilsoInAus]

What do your results actually say??

[Dorito3]

It's says that the vaginal HSV culture was positive. For type 1, it says that the test was not performed because "The incidence of HSV1 in the presence of HSV2 (dual infection) is extremely rare". But the culture for type 2 was positive. 

[Dorito3]

I'm confused about the antibody test results. 

[WilsoInAus]

Can you type them up here and we will undoubtedly be able to help.

[Dorito3]

HSV Non=-specific antibody, IgM

HSV 1 IgM Screen

- Ref range: Negative... 2 yr ago: negative 

- Herpes Simplex Virus: Negative 

- Comments: The IFA procedure for measuring IgM antibodies to HSV 1 and HSV 2 detects both type-common and type-specific HSV antibodies. Thus, IgM reactivity to both HSV 1 and HSV 2 may represent corrective HSV antibodies rather than exposure to both HSV 1 and HSV 2... (then some test details)

HSV 2 IgG 

- Ref range: 0.00 - 0.89..... 2 yr ago: 0.41 

- Comments: This as is type specific and will differentiate between HSV1 and HSV2 infections. A single positive result only indicates previous immulogic exposure and the level of antibody response may not be used to determine active infection or disease srate. This test should be repeated in 4-6 weeks when negative of equivocal results are obtained in suspected early herpes simplex disease... (test details) 

HSV 1 IgG 

- Ref range: 0.00 - 0.89..... 2 yr ago: 0.41 

- Comments: Interpretation - negative 

[WilsoInAus]

OK this looks a standard Herpeselect test or similar.

Any score below 0.9 is a clear negative. Hence 0.41 means you are negative as of that test.

It looks like your culture was properly typed. They found HSV-2 and stopped there, there is little point in testing for HSV-1 subsequent to this finding.

You can expect to test positive on IgG for HSV-2 within 4-6 weeks of infection (but maybe later).

This is hence important, how long after the swab did you have this blood test?

[Dorito3]

Oh okay, but then the 0.41 means that it was in the range for both HSV1 and 2? 

I am assuming it was ~4 weeks after exposure, but it could range from 2-6 weeks before. 

[WilsoInAus]

Yes that is negative for both types.

Maybe get the same blood test again so you know where you stand for sure.

[Dorito3]

Alright, thank you! You're a million times more helpful and caring than my OB haha 

[blistering love]

On 2/16/2016 at 10:49 AM, WilsoInAus said:

That is not quite right. There is no documented case of a male with an established oral HSV-1 infection subsequently obtaining a genital infection. I have not seen a properly tested case for a male on here. There may be one or two properly tested females on here, that's all.

Check out positive singles.com, heaps of guys that have had oral herpes for years and then get it genitally at a later date.When i first got a cold sore, i and even the doctor thought it was just a pimple.So there's probs more people out there, thinking the same way.