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Need Advice...Do I ask Him?

Abrams101

By Abrams101
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Abrams101 Honeycomb Member

Abrams101

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The man I was with that gave me herpes told me a few weeks ago he would be tested last Monday.  I have not talked to him in about a week and I was curious to know what his test result for herpes came back as. Do I have the right to text him and ask him or should I just leave him alone?

I will not be tested for the type of herpes I may have for two months until it can show up in my blood. My doctor swabbed an open sore and I tested positive for herpes after I had oral sex with him.

If I should ask him what do I say? I confronted him about why he stopped talking to me was because I had herpes and I don't think it ended well.

Please help I'm wanting to ask him I think I have the right to know but I don't wanna come across as crazy since I haven't talked to him in about a week.

Thank you!

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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Yes text him... "I am curious about your results to assist in my diagnosis, did you test positive for HSV-1, HSV-2 or both?"

Just a reminder. I assume this is the guy you had sex with in the days before an outbreak? Did you have both oral and vaginal sex with him?

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Abrams101 Honeycomb Member

Abrams101

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Thank you! Yes I had oral sex with him on a Sunday and then we had vaginal sex on a Friday and Saturday that next week and that Sunday I was sore and it was hard to wipe and I went to the doctor that Tuesday and she said it looked like herpes. 

So it happened really quickly. I believe it was from his mouth he said he had cold sores but haven't had one since college so I would assume it was from his mouth.

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Abrams101 Honeycomb Member

Abrams101

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The vaginal sex was with a condom. He said he was tested in November after some girl he was with told him she may have had crabs. I learned that HSV is not tested in the normal STD testing so I don't even know if he got it in November or not.  I did not see any visible sores on his penis during sex or when I was performing oral sex on him. So I'm guessing it came from his mouth. That's the only way it's where he was nibbling at on the one side. 

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Sadnscared Newbie

Sadnscared

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5 hours ago, LadyInPink said:

What's crazy is I'm going through almost the exact same thing. I hope you get the answers you need!

Wow..me too. Almost exact same story. I'm wondering if you guys are from FL by chance? It would be seriously insane if it was the same guy.

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Terrell Platinum Support Member

Terrell

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14 hours ago, Abrams101 said:

The man I was with that gave me herpes told me a few weeks ago he would be tested last Monday.  I have not talked to him in about a week and I was curious to know what his test result for herpes came back as. Do I have the right to text him and ask him or should I just leave him alone?

I will not be tested for the type of herpes I may have for two months until it can show up in my blood. My doctor swabbed an open sore and I tested positive for herpes after I had oral sex with him.

If I should ask him what do I say? I confronted him about why he stopped talking to me was because I had herpes and I don't think it ended well.

Please help I'm wanting to ask him I think I have the right to know but I don't wanna come across as crazy since I haven't talked to him in about a week.

Thank you!

Approach with God in heart and you'll be just A ok.

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Abrams101 Honeycomb Member

Abrams101

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Still haven't gotten a message back from the jerk!! :(

I live in PA not FL. Sounds like there are a bunch of jerks all over the US.

Do I have the right to follow up and be like you need to answer me or just leave him alone? Ugh I'm so upset and left wondering.

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Abrams101 Honeycomb Member

Abrams101

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18 hours ago, LadyInPink said:

What's crazy is I'm going through almost the exact same thing. I hope you get the answers you need!

You too LadyInPink! How are you holding up?! 

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SureWhyNot Acknowledged Support Member

SureWhyNot

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You have every right to find out what is going on with your body no matter who you have to shake up or piss off. You are fighting for YOU! I would confront him face to face, unless he is a good liar you will get your answer. The first line of defense for some is accusation of others. After having said that, you can't fix stupid or ignorant so if you do not get the answers from him you must still seek the answers for you!

Ignorance is never bliss just dangerous. You were willing to share your body with his so what is so hard about a conversation? I am in no way judging you as I would have no right as a human or because I am in the same place as you are.

God can only do so much for us. Could insert another cliche here but will resist the obvious. He has given you an opportunity to learn, gain strength and offer your knowledge to protect others. This is real life and must be dealt with on your own terms.

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Abrams101 Honeycomb Member

Abrams101

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On February 18, 2016 at 0:03 PM, SureWhyNot said:

You have every right to find out what is going on with your body no matter who you have to shake up or piss off. You are fighting for YOU! I would confront him face to face, unless he is a good liar you will get your answer. The first line of defense for some is accusation of others. After having said that, you can't fix stupid or ignorant so if you do not get the answers from him you must still seek the answers for you!

Ignorance is never bliss just dangerous. You were willing to share your body with his so what is so hard about a conversation? I am in no way judging you as I would have no right as a human or because I am in the same place as you are.

God can only do so much for us. Could insert another cliche here but will resist the obvious. He has given you an opportunity to learn, gain strength and offer your knowledge to protect others. This is real life and must be dealt with on your own terms.

Thank you SureWhyNot. I didn't get an answer from him so I confronted him again and he accused me of placing all the blame on him and speaking to him like a child. I don't know how you can tell that through a text message but he thinks I am.  I tried to be professional and message him via FB but he thought I did that to see if he read it or was typing. He said he called Monday for the testing and should have it later this week (it's later probably not gonna hear from him next week if at all)  I don't get why he's acting like this yes it was consensual and I don't regret it but he should take responsibility and get tested right away so he knows what he has and we could have a conversation about it.

It's so frustrating because I really liked him and I realize I was probably just used and he dumped me after he got what he wanted and now I'm left with his carelessness. 

Thank you all for your help and support! 

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LadyInPink Honeycomb Member

LadyInPink

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On February 18, 2016 at 7:23 PM, Abrams101 said:

You too LadyInPink! How are you holding up?! 

Day by day it gets better and I move on...of course there are always setbacks...but again, day by day...how are you?

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