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Help! How do I tell him?

Itsmisarah

By Itsmisarah
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Itsmisarah Newbie

Itsmisarah

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Newly diagnosed, I have no one to talk to. I'm embarrassed and devastated. The guy I've been seeing, I think is infected too and doesn't know it.  I decided to get tested when he was complaining to me about certain symptoms. When I researched the symptoms I realized I had the same symptoms too. I don't know who gave it to who. We just started dating. I'm afraid to tell him because I really like him and I'm afraid to lose him. How do I tell him? Any advice? Please help.

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blistering love Established Member

blistering love

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Hey,

Don't panic. There are many possibilities here.He may have complained of these symptoms because he knows he has it, and wants to blame you. Slightly similar thing happened to me. Or has it and doesn't know and passed it onto you.Or you could have gotten it from a past relationship and it has just been dormant till now.Unless both of you go back and ask past partners, and if they are honest, then there's no way to really pin point who infected who.Do you know if he has been tested? Have you been at his home? If he knows he has it and has had it for a while then he will have prescriptions for antivirals.If you've been to his home, then have a look around and see if you can find any packets of  aciclovir,Famciclovir,Valaciclovir (VALTREX). How long have you known him? How long have you slept with him? Symptoms appear between 2-20 days of being exposed, so do some backtracking and see if you were intimate between those days.  Have you ever had symptoms before knowing him?  If he wanted to have sex with the light off, then thats a big red flag that he may have had blisters present.

Until then, i would wait before telling him. Try to do the above, make sure he gets tested. Then discuss it.Take care!

"

 

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SureWhyNot Acknowledged Support Member

SureWhyNot

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Hello Itsmisarah. You have found a place where you can talk openly because we are all in the same situation. First of all did you get test results to confirm this is HSV and do you know what type? 

There are incredibly knowledgeable people here to help you understand the diagnosis and steps to take from there. I do not know the Allopathic science behind this as I treat Holistically so I can't help in that aspect.

I have dealt with this for 35 yrs and understand the fear and lack of knowledge around this virus. Since neither of you were tested before getting together you can not lay blame on each other so that should clear the way of the mental blame game that only serves to tear down defenses needed to deal with this virus. It lives dormant in us until it is triggered and that is different for each and every one of us. Neither of you needed to know about it as you thought you were not infected. That is how it works. 

You will be getting the support you need here to begin your journey of learning. If you have interest in Holistic treatment I, and others here, can help with that but this is not for everyone so read what you can on this site and sort out what is best for you. Your knowledge of this virus and how it affects you personally will be your biggest ally. 

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Terrell Platinum Support Member

Terrell

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4 hours ago, Itsmisarah said:

Newly diagnosed, I have no one to talk to. I'm embarrassed and devastated. The guy I've been seeing, I think is infected too and doesn't know it.  I decided to get tested when he was complaining to me about certain symptoms. When I researched the symptoms I realized I had the same symptoms too. I don't know who gave it to who. We just started dating. I'm afraid to tell him because I really like him and I'm afraid to lose him. How do I tell him? Any advice? Please help.

Tough situation however just let him situation and pray for the best

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  • 1 month later...
nascarhottie4number8 Established Member

nascarhottie4number8

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On 2/17/2016 at 2:23 AM, Itsmisarah said:

Newly diagnosed, I have no one to talk to. I'm embarrassed and devastated. The guy I've been seeing, I think is infected too and doesn't know it.  I decided to get tested when he was complaining to me about certain symptoms. When I researched the symptoms I realized I had the same symptoms too. I don't know who gave it to who. We just started dating. I'm afraid to tell him because I really like him and I'm afraid to lose him. How do I tell him? Any advice? Please help.

As hard as it is just be straight with him. You will feel better about being honest with someone about your H. I just recently had to do this myself after being abstinent for 6 years and still abstinent..

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