Dumped over hsv type 1 blood test result

[Js123445]

Hi everyone. I had been dating someone for three months and two weeks ago we agreed to get the full panel std test done. His came back all clean and mine came positive IgG hsv type 1. I've never had an outbreak and my mother does get cold sores. Well, he broke up with me. He said his doctor gave him all the information about shedding the virus even without a cold sore. He also said he is trying to protect his family (sister, niece, parents and brother in law). When I pointed out that someone in his family probably had it, he was pretty mean in responding that was none of his business. I wasn't saying he should ask, I was trying to make a point about statistics. 

I'm devastated. The relationship had other issues and my therapist thinks that he is using this as a way to get out of the relationship. But all I could hear was him saying he needs to think of his family. And when he came to my house to drop off my keys, he stood three feet away from the door. When I told him I felt like a leper he actually got angry and told him I'm just trying to make him feel bad. 

Well, I stopped talking to him but I can't help reliving that moment in my mind and going on the internet constantly. 

I did go on a date a few nights ago. Somehow the guy mentioned he was getting his annual blood test done and he was a hypochondriac. I am tempted to practice telling this guy because I'm pretty sure he will reject me and I feel like I need to practice the best way to say it. My friend thinks he's not the person to reveal to and he might tell other people. 

Should I be ashamed and not tell people?  I don't tell everyone but since I've never had an outbreak, in someways I don't feel different. 

Coincidentally, I told my ex of six years and he was totally cool with it. He knows my body and never say anything and he never had anything either. He just said he assumes everyone has it. That felt nice but I feel like the majority of people don't feel that way. He tested negative before me and isn't dating so he's going to wait until he dates again to get tested but he said "hey maybe I gave it to you or you have it to me, oh well". 

In your experience, how often are these different attitudes prevalent?  I have no idea!

thanks everyone for the support. 

 

[sweenytodd]

well, hell of an ex you have ;D

let me introduce shortly: 24, male, know i have herpes 2 since about a year. my ex gf told me she had herpes after we dated like 3 times, i was madly in love by that time. we had safe sex for about  months i guess, and after some research i concluded i didnt care about getting it as wel lol. mistake of my life. anyways, i would never tell what i have at the first few dates, it WILL scare away about everybody. and i just take my right to remain silent so they get to know me before i tell them. and if im really scared to do this, i will find a way to get my date to my doctor with me so he can tell everything

[Acesheart]

@Js123445 Welcome to our family community , hope you take the time to read some post and get support you may want or need. Big Hugs Aces xo

@sweenytodd I wanted to welcome you as well to our family community  ! Alot of education, support and comfort from tons of herpsters and herpsteretts  who are here to support all who need or want it Hugs Aces xo

Here is a link to a great site as well www.westoverheights.com 

[sweenytodd]

@Acesheart thanks! well i have one big question: i have been looking for a useful herpes formum, chatsite, datingsite for many many hours. most of em are junk, the rest costs money (wich jerk earns his bread by someones elses misery grr).

 

so the question; do you have more sites? chatrooms would be nice, not for dirty talk, just to talk about it.

where are you guys from btw?? im from belgium lol

much love and kindness!

[november13]

Good riddance! He's going to have a tough time finding someone who doesn't have the virus! 

In my experience, I haven't been rejected and I have genital HSV1. Oral HSV1 is way more common and less stigmatized, so I think you're fine. If I were you, I probably wouldn't even disclose it because most people don't. But if you want to, I'd just bring it up casually and assume it's a nonissue. 

[Acesheart]

8 hours ago, sweenytodd said:

@Acesheart thanks! well i have one big question: i have been looking for a useful herpes formum, chatsite, datingsite for many many hours. most of em are junk, the rest costs money (wich jerk earns his bread by someones elses misery grr).

 

so the question; do you have more sites? chatrooms would be nice, not for dirty talk, just to talk about it.

where are you guys from btw?? im from belgium lol

much love and kindness!

Hey sweenytodd, I am a married woman , so my husband doesn't allow me to date, old joke and corny I kno. I do suggest you message JBnAtl since he's a single guy and has more knowledge on dating sites than I do. Btw, I'm from the Red Stick, Louisiana. USA and I'm very happy to meet you. If it's okay with you I will tell JB, fellow Moderator that you need some links. Take care sweetheart. Hugs Aces xo 

[sweenytodd]

@Acesheart what an oldschool husband . Im happy for you :D. Makes things less complicated haha. But i would appreciate the effort!

Have a nice sunday! ^^

 

[Acesheart]

[chellebell]

I understand the fear of telling someone. I post it on my profiles that i have hsv-1. Have you seen the video of "adam ruins everything" herpes clip?

I've avtually heard a couple people say they have sent it to potiental partners to explain it. 

So far, the people i have told that i have meet in person..don't care, on the internet though...judgy mcjudgerson-ville. 

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, hell, i think we all did in finding out about having hsv. But, being alienated by your partner because of it is terrible and you didn't deserve that.