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How do I know which one I have?


Js123445

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Hi everyone,

I had a blood test years ago and it came back positive hsv type 1. I have never had an outbreak and the doctors reassured me and told me I didn't have to disclose. I went on to get into a six year, monogamous relationship with someone who tells me he tested negative before meeting me and in those six years he never had a cold sore. He's incredibly reasonable and just assumed everyone got them. 

We broke up two years ago for other reasons and I started dating again four months ago. Three months into this new relationship, he wanted a blood test and I complied and showed him the results. Honestly, I was spoiled by my ex, this guy broke up with me last week.

My question is how do I know which one I have, oral or genital, if I've never had an outbreak?  How do I tell new partners? How do I know if I'm contagious if I've never had a cold sore?  I've gotten different opinions on whether to disclose or not. I would like to but I feel like what I read on the Internet is not my experience at all. But that is what people will think! 

 

Ugh. Just need some guidance. Thank you!

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I think just let ur partner jnow that you have a possibility of hsv1 but never had an ob, let them know the possibilities and let them decide.

Edited by thistooshallpass84
Typo
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How detailed should my reply be?  I don't want to minimize it too much but I don't want to scare him too much either. The ex who dumped me treated me like a biohazard and told me he didn't want to infect his family. So devastating. 

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You have to do what feels right for you. What would you want if the situation was reversed? How would you feel if this was passed on to another without them knowing what you know about yourself? You just may never be contagious as something wonderful in your body is taking care of you. (I would like some of that please!) 

It sounds like disclosure is a good way to weed out the nasty people. What an idiot, infect his family!!!! What kind of things does he do with His family? Did you really want to invest your time with such a narrow minded person??? Sorry if this seems to diminish your pain of rejection but looking from another set of eyes You dodged a bullet my friend, not him!

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couldnt agree more with @SureWhyNot. i see it as a good test for your dates true character. i dated a girl once, she told me she was hsv2 positive, she also told me lots of people have it so i did some research. concluded it was no big deal. after the 2.5 year relation i tested positive, but i also knew it wasnt really dangerous, more an annoying condition with a nasty name. i even know my divorced dad had a hsv2 positive partner, but he doesnt care because he loves her. a decent date will understand.

 

Edited by sweenytodd
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This is pretty clear that you have an oral HSV-1 infection from childhood. More people are infected under age 3 than later. Around half of infected people have no living memory of cold sores.

This hence does not need disclosing as an STD related discussion. There is no harm in disclosing this 'hey I have the cold sore virus but I've never had one that I know of'. The response more likely than not will be 'you're lucky, I get them a couple of times a year!'.

Don't be put off by one twit's immature response, most people are not like that!

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8 hours ago, Js123445 said:

Hi everyone,

I had a blood test years ago and it came back positive hsv type 1. I have never had an outbreak and the doctors reassured me and told me I didn't have to disclose. I went on to get into a six year, monogamous relationship with someone who tells me he tested negative before meeting me and in those six years he never had a cold sore. He's incredibly reasonable and just assumed everyone got them. 

We broke up two years ago for other reasons and I started dating again four months ago. Three months into this new relationship, he wanted a blood test and I complied and showed him the results. Honestly, I was spoiled by my ex, this guy broke up with me last week.

My question is how do I know which one I have, oral or genital, if I've never had an outbreak?  How do I tell new partners? How do I know if I'm contagious if I've never had a cold sore?  I've gotten different opinions on whether to disclose or not. I would like to but I feel like what I read on the Internet is not my experience at all. But that is what people will think! 

 

Ugh. Just need some guidance. Thank you!

Unless you have a genital outbreak assume you have it oral.  Chances are very high that you got it as a child from a kiss from a relative.  That is how most people get this virus.  The good news is that the longer you have this the less you are contagious so I wouldn't worry about spreading it.  IF you ever feel a cold sore coming on then refrain from kissing or contacting others with your mouth while you have those feelings.  

You can't live your life in a bubble, so unless you have symptoms I wouldn't worry about it.  

There is no stigma about having this oral so most people who have it there never disclose.  So the choice is yours if you want to disclose.  90% of all adults have hsv1 so chances are the person you are with will have it too.  Perhaps you should request any future partners be tested as well.

Good luck!

JB

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Thank you everyone for the feedback.  Every time I google this, I keep seeing information about shedding even if you are asymptomatic.  I'm so frightened that my date will go online too and drop me like the last one.  

 

Thanks again!

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But it is a 70% chance or more that he already has HSV-1 and cannot get it again! Most people know all about cold sores through their parents and family. Extremely few go looking on the net if told.

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    • WilsoInAus
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