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Hi I'm new to this site! Just wanted to say hi. I was diagnosed with genital herpes a year ago. It was really crazy. I found out while I was pregnant 7 years ago. I never had symptoms so I kind of thought it was a bunch of bs. My ex came clean with me in the middle of my pregnancy because of how deadly it can be to your unborn child. The whole time we were together he had 1 outbreak so I knew it was for real. He gave me some bs story about how his test results were inconclusive so they wanted both of us to take the valtrex. But he lies about everything which I now know so I think that was a bs story. My daughter had to be tested with a spinal tap a day after she was born. Luckily she was clear. My ex is a drug addict so I left the situation two years ago. I reconnected with an awesome man I knew in highschool. We've been together basically a month after I left my ex two years ago. Well last year things just didn't feel right down there so I went to the dr and told them I was positive for HS 2 but have never had any symptoms. Well they swabbed area and told me what I didn't want to hear. I had to tell my new guy the whole story of how I really didn't think I had it because I never had any symptoms. It was horrible because I didn't want anyone to go through what I went through with my ex not being honest with me. My sex life is my biggest struggle with this. I will definitely be checking out the sex forummfor advice. He stuck by me but I fear the same thing might crop up on him some day. If I didn't have sex it wouldn't really bother me. I have found some homeopathic remedies to help. But I would like more information and advice on what others find helps. Like for instance, I didn't know chocolate was bad. I know about nuts and how lysine helps. I started researching imulux and resolve. I really do believe viruses stay in your spine and it's a matter of pulling it out. But I got a lot of 50/50 on both. Like 50% say it works and 50% say it doesnt. Would also like more diet info. Thanks!

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Welcome to this site I think you will find many useful perspectives!

Your swab, what was it positive for? Was it correctly typed? Have you had a HSV blood test?

Ultimately, there is no reason why your sex life can't be everything you want it to be. The risk of transfer is so low following the right steps and you can both reach a don't care attitude, which is exactly what the virus deserves.

Don't worry about the food stuff. There is no proven link between arginine and herpes. The main issue is stress on your immune system. The correlation is that when people are stressed, they happen to eat arginine rich foods!

Anything that helps your general health and keeps you in tip top shape will help. That's a sensible, balanced diet, exercise and plenty of water.

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Thanks for your support!  Yes I have been tested and swabbed. They said 1 and 2. And the sore comes in same spot every time. That's pretty much how I know I have it. I'm grateful its just one tiny spot because it could be a whole lot worse!

I definitely get outbreaks after times of stress. Ha ha! Was just thinking the same thing about being stressef and eatting bad things. Vicious cycle! I've been through hell and back a few times. I'm learning to heal and pull away from my past and to stop beating myself up over it. I have a beautiful daughter out of whole situation. Don't think I would take her back for one second!

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Hi everyone,

I am new here, just found out 2 months ago that my ex gave me hsv2.  outbreaks are awful. i confronted my ex, and he said "so what". it is hard trying to cope with this. of course i am feeling like i want his face and mouth to be covered in open sores like he left me to deal with; and for his penis to fall off. I am upset, but i do want to move forward and get healthy. it is so hard. i just cant believe he knew he had it, and did not care about infecting me and who knows how many other women. Thats why i want him to be easily identifiable to the next round of unsuspecting women.

right now, i am in need of support and some help. am learning about olive leaf, and oregano oil---from the web. just started taking both, plan on adding lemonbalm and ethinacea. will these herbs work? stop outbreaks? can i ever have sex again in the future?

any advice will help.  thanks all of you!

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Curlygirl first this is directed to you because this may be a new infection and the sooner you go after the virus the better you will be able to deal with it. If you can find either an accredited Master Herbalist, Naturopathic Dr (ND) or Chinese Acupuncture/ Herbalist in your area they should be able to offer help that Allopathic medicine does not regarding diet and supplements? I am not talking about just any clinic that offers herbs and vitamins. A true professional in their fields, with many years of experience behind them, who can offer you the support and health care You need since we are all so very different in the way our body deals with this virus. Personalized care is best as your body will tell them what you need. Please be careful taking herbs without guidance as we are walking talking chemistry and we all know how much fun that can be! Too much of a "Good Thing" can be bad too!

There are very knowledgeable people here regarding prescription antiviral meds, but I have no experience with that, just know there are options and you will find a great deal of experience and information here. 

There is no single simple treatment for this. I have had this almost 35 yrs and can honestly say...yes your sex life will be normal and wonderful, you will just know more about yourself than others do about their bodies. You only need to know about you not everyone else's OB's other than perhaps a way to tell if an OB is imminent. Your knowledge about how this virus works on you will be your strength.


Edited by SureWhyNot
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Thanks to both of you for your comments! Curlygirl I know exactly how you feel. I was about seven months prego when my ex's ex girlfriend busted in our apartment and proceeded to tell me he was a drug addict with herpes. I thought she was crazy until I got tested two weeks before I gave birth and they never told me I was positive until I was in labor. My poor baby girl had to have a spinal tap at 1 day old. She had a little iv port in her tiny foot. Luckily all tests came back negative. He slept with many and never told. After I left him, same thing. I had a look at his texts an emails because he had a seizure when it was his weekend with my daughter. My daughter had a tablet that had all his emails and texts attached. So there were tons of texts about him having sex. One young girl contacted him and said she had an std and she had only slept with him. He never even had the decency to text her back. Now his new girlfriend is prego! Boy would I love to tell her. But I try to stay as drama free and not get caught up in his train reck of a life as much as possible. So cut your losses and be happy you never had children with this person.

Surewhynot thanks for mentioning herbalist/naturopathy. Think this is my next step.

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Suffering with this for the past 16 yrs. Never reached the point of coming to peace with this.  Going counseling now for ot and getting intuned with God. Because of this basically live in isolation and depression up to last yr wanted to commit suicide.. Don't feel that way anymore but would love to meet others like myself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Surewhynot: thank you so much for your info, and encouraging words. This is a tough new thing to always carry, that is hard to not think about. I am sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Some days are not good days for me lately. But, I am going to make myself accept what has happened to me--as best as I can--so that I can move forward. I still have a life to live, and I want to be happy. I don't want to hide in my house anymore like I am a leper, or that I did something wrong and should therefore be ashamed to go out into the public.

I will look into finding a master herbalist, etc. I really want to work with someone who has a lot of experience in helping people to heal themselves. In my case, with me still being angry; um, I will probably need some valium just to sit still and talk about this to him/her face to face. My mind, my thoughts, have been hijacked by this H mess. I feel like I have the cooties. 

I have questions about how often outbreaks happen? I will take my time in getting in tune to my body, I am in no hurry to  be in a relationship. Again, thank you for the info.


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hi to both piscbelieve, and cherish 35!

Thank you ladies for giving input! I am so sorry for what you and your baby went through, piscbelieve. I am glad that you can relate to my feelings. It sucks big time to be made o feel these feelings about ourselves. Ladies, we are the stronger sex, we can pick ourselves up and keep going forward in style, can't we?

I just had my hair cut into a beautiful shorter style. I will work on smiling at myself again when I do my hair and make-up, when I dress , etc. I refuse to let my ex-the creep that he is- steal my joy for life from me.

Cherish 35: I am going to get a little bit of counseling as well. I have to vent, and do some outloud cussing about this. My creepy ex, and your creepy ex's are not worth making us think about harming ourselves. The world is a better place, because we are alive, are loved, and still standing.

I am sending you ladies support. I thank you for supporting me. Let's hold our heads up and smile, even when we might feel like crying. (my mother gave me that pearl of wisdom; I give it to you). Be well.



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    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
    • CHT
      Hello DavidGua.... based on the two pictures, I'm not seeing anything that resembles a typical herpes outbreak.  I am not sure what those spots are on your penis.  Please have a doctor take a look and I'm sure you'll get a proper diagnosis.  Have you ever received an HSV antibody test (IgG)?  Again, I doubt your symptoms are herpes-related but, if you'd like some peace of mind, you could request the IgG antibody test for HSV2.   Best of luck.... let us know if you have any other questions/concerns.
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