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Possible Herpes


That girl01

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So I'm be to all this, but I'm afraid I may have herpes... A little over a week ago I had a little sore spot on my genitals which has now turned into what looks like an open herpes sore. Initially that was it; but the last couple of days a few more small bumps have popped up that look very similar to how this one started... As a kid, I did get the occasional cold sore ( luckily it's been a while since I've had one again), but I've never had sores on my genitals. I had my annual Pap smear about a week and a half ago before these sites popped up, but I just received a message yesterday saying my results were back (they only call if there's something abnormal). Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk to anyone so I, have to wait until tomorrow to talk to them and set up another appointment. 

Now my concern is how and when I could have gotten this because I read all sorts of things. (I am a registered nurse, so when it comes to my health, I start researching like crazy). I've been with only 1 person for the past 6 months who I've never seen a sore on. So I'm wondering if this could have been something I picked up before I knew him and just never had an outbreak from or if he has it and was possibly shedding recently which caused me to only pick it up now after 6 months... I did recently find two bottles of valacyclovir in his bathroom. One was empty and the other had only a few pills left. I noticed they haven't been touched in a while, so it doesn't seem like something he's actively taking, unless he has another bottle somewhere... I don't want to assume anything, because I know he's loyal, but I can't imagine that he had a recent bout of chicken pox or shingles. I guess you never know... 

 

Anyway, I'm terrified to call tomorrow. I know they won't tell me anything over the phone and I'll have to wait until I can get in for an appointment. I've just been so down since this started. And I'm scared to death to say anything to my boyfriend because I'm afraid he'll think I was unfaithful... Any advice for having this talk with him or info on transmitting the disease and dormancy, please, I'm all ears... 

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Your annual pap will not detect herpes. You need your lesion swabbed right now.

You do need to confront your boyfriend, the odds are in favour of him having genital HSV-2.

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Wow, same boat.  I totally understand what you're feeling.

I caught the influenza A (confirmed by rapid test) and had a ridiculous fever.  I haven't been sick like that in years!  I've been with the same partner for just over 3 years now and neither of use have shown symptoms of herpes.  However, when I got really sick with the flu, I did notice a few sores pop up.  They looked really similar to canker sores.  I couldn't get an appt with my doctor immediately so I self treated with chlorhexidine to clean the lesions and mupirocin ointment- just incase it was a staph infection.  You never know!

I saw my doctor today and she took a culture.  I've got a week to wait but she put me on valacyclovir to help the sores go away and she's pretty damn sure it's herpes.  I don't know what to feel to be honest, but my main worry is that my partner will think that I've cheated.  I hear so much how the herpes virus can just lay dormant in your body for years.  I never thought I'd be one of these people.

I mustered the courage to tell my partner as soon as I found the sores, just because I felt like he deserved to know.  But everyone is different.  Your partner could very well not have a sore on him because of the valacyclovir he's been taking.  

When I told him, I was sure to sit down.  I told him how much I loved him and that I've never been unfaithful.  He knows that I've slept with other men before him and understood how this virus could have just been dormant in my body for years until now.  He was so understanding and patient with me, and he's been there for me through all my breakdowns for all this.  I think the best thing you could do is  tell him, because you can't do this alone.  And if he truly is a decent man, he will accept you for this and show you support.  

I wish you the best.  I understand this isn't easy.  Good luck with your results!!  Regardless of what happens, you're still a great person.  The virus does not define you.  You're a registered nurse, and that's a very well respected profession.  You spend your days/nights working to better the health of others.  I'm a student nurse and all this stress from seeing the doctor really isn't helping me study for my exams, but with the support from my family I feel truly blessed.  Again, good luck.  Don't be down for too long.  The stigma tied with this is much worse than the virus in itself.  You're still awesome.

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8 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Your annual pap will not detect herpes. You need your lesion swabbed right now.

You do need to confront your boyfriend, the odds are in favour of him having genital HSV-2.

They did a vaginal swab with the pap as well. So I'm wondering if I was just about to break out, wouldn't I have been shedding? Could it have been picked up on the swab?

 

And I know I'll need to confront him. I asked for advice on how to do that. 

Edited by That girl01
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A lesion is required for a reliable swab, shedding is present as little as 6 hours before an outbreak.

You confront by confirming you are having some vaginal issues and it would be beneficial for him to confirm his STD status including herpes to assist in assessing risks.

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45 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

A lesion is required for a reliable swab, shedding is present as little as 6 hours before an outbreak.

You confront by confirming you are having some vaginal issues and it would be beneficial for him to confirm his STD status including herpes to assist in assessing risks.

While I appreciate your straightforward answers, there is nothing helpful about your response in how I bring it up to him. I'm human, not a robot, I have emotions just as he will have certain emotions once bring it up to him. I'm trying to find the best approach to make this uncomfortable conversation a little more bearable for both of us and I don't think " confronting" him is the way to do that.

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Thatgirl01 after reading your posts it looks like you are asking people to put words in your mouth to make this easy for you and that is not possible. There is no easy way around this because the virus is so unpredictable and unless you both went into your relationship with multiple blood work testing to prove both are completely virus free and never in contact with HSV there is no way of knowing who, what, when. You have not received your results yet. Perhaps show him your post on this forum because it sounds like your biggest fear is him thinking you cheated. 

Your emotions are too raw at this point and you are looking for answers you may not get. You know your partner and he knows you.  If you can share your body you should be able to have a conversation about it. If you found his script bottles perhaps that would be the way to open the conversation by asking him about them and then telling him what you are dealing with. This virus does not come by an invitation card, it arrives by breaking down the door and we have to deal with an unwanted intruder our own way!

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15 hours ago, That girl01 said:

So I'm be to all this, but I'm afraid I may have herpes... A little over a week ago I had a little sore spot on my genitals which has now turned into what looks like an open herpes sore. Initially that was it; but the last couple of days a few more small bumps have popped up that look very similar to how this one started... As a kid, I did get the occasional cold sore ( luckily it's been a while since I've had one again), but I've never had sores on my genitals. I had my annual Pap smear about a week and a half ago before these sites popped up, but I just received a message yesterday saying my results were back (they only call if there's something abnormal). Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk to anyone so I, have to wait until tomorrow to talk to them and set up another appointment. 

Now my concern is how and when I could have gotten this because I read all sorts of things. (I am a registered nurse, so when it comes to my health, I start researching like crazy). I've been with only 1 person for the past 6 months who I've never seen a sore on. So I'm wondering if this could have been something I picked up before I knew him and just never had an outbreak from or if he has it and was possibly shedding recently which caused me to only pick it up now after 6 months... I did recently find two bottles of valacyclovir in his bathroom. One was empty and the other had only a few pills left. I noticed they haven't been touched in a while, so it doesn't seem like something he's actively taking, unless he has another bottle somewhere... I don't want to assume anything, because I know he's loyal, but I can't imagine that he had a recent bout of chicken pox or shingles. I guess you never know... 

 

Anyway, I'm terrified to call tomorrow. I know they won't tell me anything over the phone and I'll have to wait until I can get in for an appointment. I've just been so down since this started. And I'm scared to death to say anything to my boyfriend because I'm afraid he'll think I was unfaithful... Any advice for having this talk with him or info on transmitting the disease and dormancy, please, I'm all ears... 

Sending my blessings I believe you know how to handle such situation

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