Telling someone over text, does this sound okay?

[jjones333]

I have a potential romantic interest, and we prefer to chat via text and such. I was diagnosed a while ago when I had my first symptoms via a blood test -- minor outbreak deep in the anal area but no lesions (thigh pain, numbness, flu like symptoms) -- thought it could have been HSV2 due to an encounter that made it more likely.  Technology these days makes it all easier so planning on sending something. Any suggestions or feedback for what I'm planning on sending to them below?

message: 

"Hey, so I wanted to let you know I have HSV2. Only have had symptoms once in my life, deeper in my backside, but never a full outbreak. I take a daily pill that controls it, reduces chance of outbreaks, reduces chance of passing, and have been fine since. 1/4 gay men have it, but they think higher because most never know and most don't test unless you have symptoms. I'm asymptomatic now, and since the nerves affected are localized to the backside area and it doesn't travel, the risk is very low to pass along, especially when using condoms. For example, I can engage in foreplay, kissing, receiving and giving oral sex on the front side, giving oral sex on the backside, and even intercourse (top or bottom) while using condoms -- the risk is very low due to the pill, being asymptomatic, and using protection (article linked below talks about 2%). But still wanted to be up front and let you know because it's the right thing to do. HSV2 is an interesting, common thing that many have and don't know, so check this out if you have concerns and I can also answer other questions you might have: http://bit.ly/QbKDEd"

[WilsoInAus]

What were your test results? You sure a false positive isn't a possibility?

I do have suggestions on your note. This is mainly centred on the fact that the virus infects the genital area in its entirety. Could I suggest..

"Hey, I want to let you know I have HSV2 genitally and am asymptomatic. This is a very common virus that 1/4 people carry. There is a minimal risk of transmission through contact with my genital area only. I take daily antivirals that together with condom use provide the best protection against transmission..."

[jjones333]

Thank you! I'll ask for a second test. All the results were were "positive". Here's the re-write:

 

 

I want to let you know that I have HSV2 and am asymptomatic. Only have had symptoms once in my life, deeper in my backside, but never a full outbreak. I take a daily antiviral pill that controls it, reduces chance of outbreaks, provides the best protection against transmission (together when using a condom), and I have been fine since. This is a very common virus that 1/4 gay men carry, but they think higher because most never know and most don't test unless you have symptoms (thus why so many have). I'm asymptomatic now, and the risk is very low to pass along, especially when using condoms. For example, I can engage in foreplay, kissing, giving oral sex on the front and back side, and even intercourse (top or bottom) while using condoms -- the risk is very low due to the pill, being asymptomatic, and using protection (article linked below talks about a 2% chance). But still wanted to be up front and let you know because it's the right thing to do. HSV2 is an interesting, common thing that many have and don't know, so check this out if you have concerns and I can also answer other questions you might have: http://bit.ly/QbKDEd

[WilsoInAus]

Leave out the backside bit, it is not relevant. I think you can say that giving oral sex is risk free and that genital sex is low risk.

[jjones333]

Maybe this short version is better and I can link to the site give additional stats if they have more questions? 

 

I want to let you know that I have HSV2 and am asymptomatic. I take a daily antiviral pill that controls it, reduces chance of outbreaks, and provides the best protection against transmission -- the risk is very low to pass along, especially when using condoms, due to this. I can still engage in most sexual activities and even intercourse (top or bottom), but wanted to let you know. It's a pretty common thing in the gay community, so happy to answer any questions you have

[WilsoInAus]

Yes superb, any longer gives the virus more credence than it deserves.

Do you have actual results for the IgG HSV-2 test?

[jjones333]

The results from the blood test soecifically for HSV2 said positive. 

I got a response  : " I actually had to look it up what it was.  sorry you are having to go through that but thanks for telling me. Most  wouldn't be honest and hiding it as well as more serious problems so no worries at all"

 

Yay! Thank you for all the support and advice 

 

[Franticheart]

Do you have the exact numbers for you blood test? As sometimes people can get  "false positives", especially if you have an existing HSV1 infection. Usually if the numbers for the test are "low" there is be chance that is could be false. 

Edited March 3, 2016 by Gettingthere

[WilsoInAus]

Hey great outcome. I agree though to seek confirmation this is a true positive.

You refer to symptoms being 'deep' but this would not happen unless you have been having unprotected anal sex (receiving); I doubt this has happened, right?

[jjones333]

1 hour ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey great outcome. I agree though to seek confirmation this is a true positive.

You refer to symptoms being 'deep' but this would not happen unless you have been having unprotected anal sex (receiving); I doubt this has happened, right?

We used condoms, and then the guy decided to insert his penis for a brief moment without a condom. When I say brief, I mean it. And that's had to be when it was contracted. He is also positive after getting tested once I found out. 

[WilsoInAus]

Not convincing that you were infected then. What was he positive for?

[jjones333]

HSV2. Unfortunately we don't do levels around here. It's either positive or negative. I took another test when I got on PrEP and it was still positive. 

[WilsoInAus]

Yes they do tests with levels, where are you?