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NJladyfl

By NJladyfl
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NJladyfl Newbie

NJladyfl

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone!

 

I just joined up because I'm looking for support. I was first diagnosed a little under 3 years ago with HSV 2. My "giver" was my long term boyfriend. 3 months ago we broke up, and I am on the verge of re entering the dating world for the first time in a long time ... And for the first time EVER HSV 2 positive.  I'm scared out of my mind. I havnt disclosed to anyone really except my ex for fear of rejection. The only person I've told is my roommate. She was very supportive and didn't judge me but she's not a potential boyfriend. I'm feeling so alone right now... I made the mistake of googling "would you ever date a woman with genital herpes".... Don't EVER do that. The responses made me go into a depression for an entire week. What makes my situation even more distressing is I'm one of the lucky few that is healthy but is dealing with extremely frequent outbreaks. Usually one a month.... More if I'm really stressed and run down. UGH! Since my boyfriend and I broke up I've been getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex. I even kissed a guy and I stayed over and slept in bed with him.. But after two dates and my sexual avoidance behavior I think he kind of got the impression that something was up with me and gave up . (Not a guy I would want to End up dating anyway right? ....) anyway.. My question is this: how do you all navigate the dating world with this yucky virus ? Is it as scary as I think it is? Right now I'm 30 and I feel like I'm never going to be able to have children or be loved again... Is there hope after your "giver" is gone??

 

-much love to all xox 

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SureWhyNot Acknowledged Support Member

SureWhyNot

Posted
Posted

I have had this almost 35 yrs. Have had 4 long term relationships without ever infecting anyone so it is completely possible to live a normal life. I was never interested in marriage, only looking for my best friend. I have honestly never been rejected because I dated first. I took 3 months to get to know them to see if I was interested in pursuing this further before I had the talk with them. Maybe playing hard to get made them not care so much because they came to understand me and that they could trust me with their health.

If you look at this virus from a different angle it forces us to rethink how we date and that puts the strength in our hands. Sounds like your last date was looking for fresh meat not to meet you! What is the difference of a guy walking away after he has had what he wants from you or one who does not want to deal with HSV? One is easier to understand, the other is humiliating. You choose!

You cannot unring the bell but you can find out everything regarding how HSV works on you and with that knowledge you can enter into a long and loving relationship based on honesty. 

If you look up people here you will see exactly what you need to believe in yourself again as the thing that seemed so horrible and insurmountable has actually had benefits for some of us! There are wonderful life stories of people who felt the same as you. Your confidence will be irresistible and will reflect your strengths making you more of a catch than someone who is less aware of real life! 

 

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BrazilGuy Honeycomb Member

BrazilGuy

Posted
Posted (edited)

Yesterday was my first disclosure.

I know a great guy for more than one year and we always liked each other. He wants to date me. Yesterday I told him about my situation. I told him all risks, the prevalence of the illness, statistics etc.

Below is what he told me:

"I don't care. This is such a common desease. You are unique and I'm never going to find someone so fantastic like you in my life. We will take care of the situation, don't worry, I want to have a whole life with you".

I was devasted till i listened to him. Now I have HOPES on my life again.

Don't give up. Be special to someone. That's all.

Edited by BrazilGuy
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