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Mellisuga

Any Asexuals out there?

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Mellisuga

Hey all!

I was just curious...are there any asexuals here?

This includes demisexuals too. Just wanted to expand the rainbow representation a bit :)

Yeah, it is a group that's underrepresented  - much like all those other complicated words I've got in the title - LGBTI2SAPH

I also noticed that some asexual websites have a huge gap in knowledge about herpes and a bit of misinformation. *cracks knuckles* time to get to work...

 

Edited by Mellisuga

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Gothic Beauty

I feel like having herpes has made me asexual. Honestly, even if there is a cure someday I still don't think I'll feel attracted to anyone anymore. Humanity is really ugly. A lot of the world doesn't make sense anymore when you take sex out of the equation. It just seems illogical.

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Mellisuga
18 hours ago, Gothic Beauty said:

I feel like having herpes has made me asexual.

It is really normal to feel put off by sex once something like being diagnosed with herpes happens. For most people, it is a phase. Give it a bit of time, and work through your feelings - read the testimonies here as well. Herpes isn't much more than a skin condition, and one that more people have than not. Living in this world will get you sick with viruses, its just the reality of living.

 

I've heard a lot of people tell their stories, and it's pretty unanimous - given the right attitude, you can even have a fling, if that's your thing.

Edited by Mellisuga

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Gothic Beauty

It's been like 3 yrs. now and it's not just the herpes that stops me from having a relationship. I've come to realize that when you take sex off the table most men are really quite disrespectful towards me simply because I have a vagina. It's like they think they are entitled to my body and I hate it. Realistically speaking, even if a cure for this does happen... I still don't think I will be interested.

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heartless369

@Gothic Beauty, that's exactly how I feel! I've become so repulsed by sex since I got herpes 5 years ago that I can't imagine ever having sex again. And of course when you take sex out of the dating equation there's not much left. I don't think a cure would change anything for me. 

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Gothic Beauty

Right? It's weird. Like I will turn guys down (mostly b/c I don't want to do the disclosure thing nor infect someone else) and they will get all pissed off and act like I'm being stuck up. It sure is a real eye-opener that they never had any intentions of getting to know me from the very beginning and they were only interested in me for one thing. It makes them so repulsive to the point where I genuinely don't think I would be interested in them even if there was a cure. There's really no purpose in dating if you have no intention of having a relationship. People don't understand when I say I'm single and I'm not interested in dating or hooking up. It's like they don't believe me when they say I would be happier being a hermit in the woods.

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Free73

It's interesting, since my diagnosis 8 months ago, I have really noticed my interest in 'real' sex waning. It's not that i'm repulsed by it or anything like that, I just don't get the urge to be sexual because of the perception of 'restrictions' that would apply to a sexual encounter. When I imagine sex now, the thoughts that come into my mind are more akin to a carefully orchestrated step by step experiment and I find it hard to get excited by that. I also find it hard to imagine that a partner would get excited by that.

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Mellisuga

But is there anyone out there who already had next to no interest in sex before catching herpes?

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crying

A little late, but ever since having been sexually assaulted I have wondered about being asexual. idk it's weird because asexual people say that rape can't change your sexuality, but the thought of having sex now seems unpleasant (with OB even more unappealing), I just have no genuine interest in dating any gender/don't want to have sex with anyone. 

I can't tell if it has always been this way or not, but if it has I am perfectly okay with that. It turns out only 1% of the population is asexual, so it's kinda rare. You can consider yourself an ace ^_^

Edited by crying

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luvurself16

I have also become asexual after purposely being infected with herpes. In fact I feel like he sexually assaulted me. I want absolutely nothing to do with men or sex. 

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Disc0rdant

Kinda funny.  I am asexual and very voracious sexual appetite at the same time.  I want someone to love me.  All of me.  Just the way I am.  In all of my weirdness.  I have turned down several gorgeous women in my life because it needs to be right.  Right now includes full disclosure testing where we go together.  If I never find her, it will be ok.  But.  I want to find her...  I will not stop looking for her.  Sappy...  Whatever.  Not afraid of who I am and what I want.  I am still happy.  If it ended today, I have had an interesting life....

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Disc0rdant

That is prob true @luvurself16.  Except I must be attracted to her physically.  I think there is a pheremones thing, too.  I had to look up demisexual.  Had no idea what it meant.  Without a chemical, emotional and hormonal connection, too.  I am really picky.  I like to meet right away.  I dont do hookups.  Tinder has been horrible.  

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Stillme1968

think many of us are like that

chemisty kind of thing? 

tone of voice, their laugh, how they think, look

how it feels just sitting next to them

 

 

as far as asexual

no I am sooooooooooooo not

hahahaa. but then again I was married for twenty years and have two kids

I also think it is very hard to seperate how we feel about our sexual selves from how we feel about Herpes

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WonderHat
On 02/04/2016 at 9:04 AM, Gothic Beauty said:

I feel like having herpes has made me asexual. Honestly, even if there is a cure someday I still don't think I'll feel attracted to anyone anymore. Humanity is really ugly. A lot of the world doesn't make sense anymore when you take sex out of the equation. It just seems illogical.

I'm sorry to hear that. I have the feeling that some people who feel depressed are losing sexual interest but are not depressed per se. Here's a great description of asexuality https://noveltrove.com/asexuality

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G77

I'm not asexual because I am still attracted to men but then I remember I have herpes and my sexual feelings instantly disappear. I've only had it 4 months and right now I'm thinking I'm never gonna have sex again. I wasn't really one for many hook ups ( maybe once a year) but now the fun of even meeting someone has been taken away because that exciting feeling of getting to know someone is tainted with needing to have the talk with them. Nothing is more unsexy than herpes...it's a passion killer! 

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hopeing

I'm not asexual because I'd like to have a sex life, but yes celibate 4 years now as I can't really deal with it all.

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ConfusedinNH

I need to talk to someone about this.  I feel the same way.  Aesexual.  I didn’t love sex before I had herpes but I did it to gain affection and intimacy with men and now all it got me was zero affection and love.  Is there an online site to meet people that only want companionship?  I have zero interest in sex.  It’s always been painful. 

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