wondering

[daisy123]

Hi,

I am starting to date again after my 15 year relationship ended. I am having trouble telling perspective partners my situation. I am 49 years old and feeling old and scared. how do you tell someone? When is the right time? Its been awhile i could use the help

[Caliope]

When would I disclose my status? if ghsv positive.

I'd wait until the relationship had progressed a little and I knew that I was really enjoying the other persons company and I felt there was something more than just attraction and more than just friendship and I'd ask them their thoughts on the relationship and where they see it going. If I get positive answers that confirm and encourage what I am feeling that would be the time I brought it up. I'd also do it with a positive attitude and with my head held high.

Telling too soon scares people away. Telling before sexual contact occurs is a must. Waiting until your madly in love and your heart aches is too long just because it could be too painful to be rejected at that point.

[starphyse]

yeah its not really a big deal and the chances of transmitting it after you have had it awhile aren't that big of a deal and if your on valtrax and use protection its not a big deal at all. Myself I don't like condoms so I take the risk thats something I didn't really get into till I really got to know the partner I was with and kinda fell in love with her so.

Anyway just like Caliope said keep your head high and don't be down about it. Let me tell you about when I found out about my gf's hsv. We were in rocky run and drinking beers and I was kissing her and she breaks the kiss and looks kind sad she is like we need to have a conversation after awhile and im like what she is like well might as well have it now. There is something about me that I have to tell you.. so she paused and remained that way kinda sad didn't talk for a good minute. "not a good way to tell but" So I got on my cellphone and texted in "Do you have a std?" and showed the screen to her she said yes.. so I typed in "herpes?" knowing nothing about it hoping its not hiv or something and she is like yes how did you know?

I kissed her and she said if were careful I won't get it and she is on meds etc. I was kinda scared about it at first till I did research of my own and found this forum and been a poster ever since and have been very comfortable around it since then.