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I can't help thinking...

Guest ijusdunno

By Guest ijusdunno
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Guest ijusdunno

Guest ijusdunno

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I found out about a year ago that I have HSV-2. It was really hard for me to tell my boyfriend... but once I did it was a relief. He was pretty upset at first, but we had been together for a year.. and he figured.. he loves me, and we would deal with it together. Not to long after, he noticed he had it too. He seems to be okay with it now. The only problem I have is... well, I don't know if this is why we stay together. We've both talked about what would happen if we broke up. He says he could never be with another person because of herpes... that he couldn't tell anyone. I just wonder if this is why he stays with me. I also wonder sometimes myself if this is why I stay with him. It's been 2 and a half years that we've been together. I really enjoy being with him for the most part, but there are times when I just want to go out and date again. I'm only 24, and I feel like I have the rest of my life to explore. I just don't think I can do it. I know I'm safe with him... and I might not find anyone else like him ever again. I can't just say, I want to try something else for a while... then I'll come back to you if it doesn't work!?! Does anyone else have this problem.. or know what I might be able to do? This is my first time talking about it... so sorry if I seem to be rambling.

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justagirl Established Member

justagirl

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What you're feeling isn't just a herpes thing, it's an everyone thing. I've had people I dated where I wasn't sure if the reason we were together was because of... the sex, growing up together, our previous friendship, my career or his, etc. etc.

I think I can safely say feeling restless in a relationship is normal. I think you're being unfair to yourself and him in trying to see it as a "just because of herpes" situation.

I think what I'm most curious about is if it's that you want to have sex with other people, or if the emotional side of your relationship isn't satisfying... or...?

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Guest ijusdunno

Guest ijusdunno

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I do think about other people... but just out of curiosity. I've never had a relationship last this long.. so I don't know if the thought of settling down just scares me... or the fact that I'm not sure if I could ever be with anyone else. Emotionally I feel satisfied.. but sexually... not so much. I try to be happy with what I've got... but I find myself at times wanting more.

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Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

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I agree whole heartedly with what justagirl is saying about this not being a herpes thing but more of an everyone thing.

sometimes it is hard to ask our partners for what we want. it would be a shame to find yourself moving on and a year or so down the line in the same predicament with someone else because you don't know how to communicate what would make sex better for you.

some needs are harder to meet than others but for most of us pleasing our partner sexually is important enough that we will try to do whatever it takes.

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justagirl Established Member

justagirl

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Having been in several long relationships, I think it's fair to say you won't always be completely sexually satisfied by someone--UNLESS you communicate to them what you want, or would like to try. The way you approach the topic makes all the difference.

I'm going to say this having been in emotionally fulfilling situations that I left to, quite frankly, have sex with a partner I knew would be amazing: you can easily change up your sexual routine/activities to be more pleasing. You cannot make a person that isn't there for you mentally/emotionally and make them into the type of guy (or girl!) you want to be with.

I'd suggest you try to work through your sexual frustrations with a dude you care about.

You know that whole "the grass is always greener..." bit? It's completely true.

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