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Diagnosed a while back, but looking for support now


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Hi all,

I was diagnosed back in 2000 but it's never really bothered me much until recently. My daughter is 1 and I'm terrified I'm going to pass this on to her. Both my husband and I have HSV-2 so we have a double shot at passing it on. I'm considering trying the suppressant therapy (even though I only usually get one or two outbreaks a year) just so I will feel safer around my daughter. I'm sure there are other parents in my situation, so if you've got any suggestions, please let me know!

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I completely understand!

I was very recently diagnosed, but i have a 3 year old. I'm worried about it too, but i think taking certain precautions can really help. Passing genital herpes is not an easy thing to do (although the younger the child, the less tolerant their immune system is). I've decided to take some common-sense precautions, and improve our hygene. I have lysol wipes for the toilets, i wear pj bottoms to bed, i wash my hands CONSTANTLY, and i enjoy my daughter as much as possible.

There is no way you can completely safeguard your daughter, just as you could never completely safeguard your partner. There was someone complaining the other day because, as hard as she tries not to give it to her son, a relative kissed him with sores on her mouth! You just never know where it can come from. Even if your daughter gets it, it doesn't mean it was from you or your husband. Considering 50% of the population have HSV-1, it's not worth freaking out over.

As for therapy, i can't help but be suspicious of things the drug companies push, and a lot of people here seem to have had great results with more natural methods of controlling OBs, like herbs and vitamins. You might consider that instead. I don't think suppressant drug therapy is going to cut down your chances any more than natural methods of preventing OBs, but if it's your peace of mind, it's up to you. The fewer outbreaks you have (and the longer you go without one), the less chance you have of passing it on, although there is never NO chance.

Best of luck to you. I have 15 more years to worry about passing it on before my daughter and I are no longer sharing the same toilet, laying on the same bed, and living in the same house. Don't let it keep you up at night, just do the best you can and move on.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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