Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Newlydiagnosed08

Newly Diagnosed and in need of resources HELP!

Recommended Posts

Newlydiagnosed08

Hey guys, I recently was diagnosed with HSV via a swab test. It started when my long term boyfriend moved across the state and into my apartment with me. We have been monogamous with each other for a year and a half but with it being long distance we had not been active for at least two months. I may have tore the first time we had sex since it had been awhile, I started developing discharge, odor and discomfort. Thinking this was a yeast infection I treated with an OTC one day vaginal suppository and topical cream at which point I began to BURN and develop lesions all over my perianal area. I promptly went to an urgent care clinic where they swabbed me. I tested positive for bacterial vaginitis and herpes (I need to follow up with if I have HSV1 or 2). My boyfriend denies having any other sexual partners while we have been together and I have a promiscuous past but no prior outbreaks or symptoms. He has not had any symptoms either. Am I correct in saying that there really is no way to know if he gave it to me or if it's been laying dormant for any length of time? Since he is asymptomatic he went to get a blood test this afternoon and we should find out in a few days whether or not he has it. This has been completely devastating for me. I know there are no serious life threatening complications other than occasional flare ups and discomfort but I can't shake feeling disgusting and repulsive. Sex and intimacy is an important part of our relationship and I'm scared about how this will affect that. He has been supportive thus far saying he doesn't love me any less, just a little frustrated that I never got tested sooner. Obviously we cannot have sex during an outbreak but how long should we wait to be active again? Can he perform oral sex on me if there is no OB? Can I perform oral sex on him if I don't have any open sores? Any resources with information of transmission rates would greatly be appreciated! 

Another big thing I am worried about is if he doesn't have it how do we prevent him from getting it without using condoms for the rest of our lives? And what precautions do I need to take when having an outbreak? Feel free to forward any helpful information you have picked up along your journey 

Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JBnATL

Hi there, you have come to the right place.  This website has the most accurate information about this virus on the internet.

Most people who do get an outbreak do so 2 - 20 days after getting this virus, so it does sound like you did get it from your current bf.  However, if you are in the minority and did have it prior to being with him then the chances of you passing it to him are remote when you don't have an outbreak.

You asked for links about ttansmission risks and here are two great ones for you:

https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf

https://hsvblog.org/herpes-simplex-virus-101/

Good luck!

JB

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • thirteen1395
      By thirteen1395
      hi
       
      i was diagnosed in 2016. contracted HSV-1 genitally from my then (now ex) boyfriend.
      im brand new to this site. been having a really hard time lately. outbreaks have been getting more frequent. rarely had them.. now currently going through the 3rd OB in 4 months. every time i think about it i’m immediately upset. it’s debilitating physically and mentally
       
      i regret my choices that led me to this every single day. it never leaves my mind. especially when i have an active OB.
       
      any and all suggestions for preventing OBs... foods/things to avoid.  i never had to worry about this til lately. hate being depressed all the time. it sucks a lot 
       
       
      ugh
    • Learningtolivewithhsv
      By Learningtolivewithhsv
      So I have recently been diagnosed with ghsv-1. I am traveling to Mexico soon tomorrow and my outbreak hasn’t completely healed as of yet. It’s been a week since taking the medicine and about a week and a half before noticing the outbreak. Even though it’s not painful to pass urine anymore but I’ve been pooping a lot and feel like I’m getting another outbreak inside of my anus. Are there any essentials that I should pack in order to subside the pain? Whilst home I’ve been taking epsom salt baths and adding tea tree oil to my sores. 
    • Leedschick
      By Leedschick
      Hey folks. 
       
      I posted here last week, I didn't include a picture so here it is. Also my previous post if no one saw it. Does it look like herpes to you? 
      -----
      Hey guys and girls. Anyone any advice for me? I feel at a loss. I haven't been properly diagnosed, only a visual diagnosis. On Friday night I was with my fella, we've been seeing each other for 5 months and always used a condom. Everything was fine, then Saturday I felt a little nippy down below. Sunday came and I decided to have a look down there. I was horrified at what I saw. In the entrance of my vagina was a rather large white patch,it looked like a hole, filled with white stuff. After that it got really painful to pee, very painful to walk and even sit down. I told him it looks like herpes, as I googled it. 
      So that night I took a bath, and had another look after my bath. The white stuff had gone, and honest to God all i could see was a bright red looking hole. So this morning I went to my local clinic, and had a nurse take a look. she said it does look like herpes, it could be herpes, but it may not be. She tried to take a swab but the pain was that bad that everytime she touched it you had to peal me off the ceiling so she had to give up, gave me anti viral medication and an ointment to apply and I've to go back next week. I've had my suspicions for a while now as my ex had coldsores, and after a night with him I started to feel funny down there. This was a year and a half ago. Eventually I got diagnosed with vulvodynia, which I'm now thinking it may have been herpes all along.
      I don't know what to do. Feel disgusting. My boyfriend says if we'd never break up over it, but I'm an over thinker and I'm thinking the worst. I only done 2 things different last week, I used a hair removal cream, and used a different condom to the ones we had been using. Racking my brain trying to think of what else it could be, but honestly I do believe it's genital herpes and I'm gutted. It's the worse physical pain I've ever been in, peeing is the worst. 

    • Boom
      By Boom
      Does anybody have any suggestions on how you deal with pain at work or when you are out? I have hsv2 I am in the beginning of a break out this one is bad. I can’t really afford to call in so if anybody has any tips I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks. 
    • shitshow
      By shitshow
      I just got diagnosed yesterday 2/25/2019. I've almost been on meds a full 24 hours. It's been an actual shit show of a week.
      This week has been insane. At first symptoms didn't show up until four days after having unprotected sex. I have had chlamydia before (May 2018) and the symptoms looked the same. Wasn't painful until the fifth day. I kept asking my doctor for tests. "You have to set up an appt to get your lab paperwork (they don't do actual testing at my office, you have to go to the local hospital to do them)." So I get in there on the fourth day and nothing had even showed up yet. So I went to  the hospital the next morning (Friday 2/22/19) and got my tests done. Nurse told me I could come and get results later that day. I come back and they only have my hiv one done, and I already knew I was negative. They told me to come in the next day and all my tests would be done. At this point the symptoms are getting worse and I'm starting to feel pain and itchiness and the nurse says she can't do jack sh it (it's JUST a hospital, not like anyone knows how to do THEIR job right?). I come in next day- absolutely freaked. I'm hysterical, crying, and I want some fu cking answers. I walk into the main check in area to find a sign that says GO TO ER RECEPTION. I had called the hospital an hour beforehand to set my results aside so I don't have to wait 10 years for some stu pid papers. I walk to the ER, and I'm shaking like h ell. I look like I'm crazy and I ask for my paperwork. "Sorry? We're the ER and we don't take care of that stuff"
      Me:  LOOK. You guys have been bouncing me around for the past 3 days. Whatever the he ll I have is there and I KNOW I HAVE SOMETHING. All I want are my lab results. I called the front office and they said they set the papers aside and I could grab them. Whoever is manning the main office is on a break or something bc their sign said to come here so don't tell me you cannot help me. I have a physical condition and it's driving me insane. I've been going batsh*t about this since Thursday (at this point it is Saturday).
      Nurse: OK we found your paperwork in the lab (didn't even ask for my ID)
      Me: Finally. Jesus. (I look at all my tests and they are all negative) WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEGATIVE??? I can't even sit down and I have to cry my own eyes out when I pis s?????? You mean to tell me that I trust the fing system for once and you tell me to go blow myself when I'm in physical pain?  I need to be looked at? Where even is the herpes and trichomoniasis tests???? (the basic tests the doc gives you for stds are gonn, chl, syph, and hiv)
      Nurse: You have to ask for them
      Me: Can I have then please?? What buzz words am I missing? What part about THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I NEED HELP do none of you get?
      Nurse: Ask your doctor.
      Me: Yeah on a weekend. What help.
      Nurse: All your tests came back negative????? What's the problem??
      Me: There is clearly something wrong and I am SCREAMING FOR HELP and you, someone who works at the hospital, are going to stand there behind that desk and tell me you can't help me? You're turning me away when I beg for help?
      Nurse: The results are negative...
      I just storm out at this point and I'm hysterically crying and screaming at the top of my lungs because I'm in full panic and manic mode. I don't know where to turn. I go home for my dad's help and he takes my car away because I'm so upset (we have been on somewhat of a break bc of this whole fiasco and I've been staying with my friend) that I start frantically calling my friend and looking up bus schedules (she lives 20 miles away and such). She tells me to lay low and I'm ready to kill someone, if not myself because of how frantic I am. My dad doesn't understand this and it's absolutely aggravating because I originally went to him to vent and what I got was a lecture and a threat to kick me out of the house. After I left the hospital, I made the even bigger mistake of asking for a hug because he made me come inside and listen to him lecture for a f/ing hour, and then I was stranded and no buses were going at that point (it was like 8pm and hours are shorter on weekends).
       
      Next day I drive out to my friend's and the whole day I'm suffering and trying to work horses (I'm a 3 day event rider and my friend is a horse trainer, I'm her groom/assistant) and move items from farm to farm without passing out or upsetting the sock in my crotch.
       
      Next morning, yesterday (MONDAY 2/25/19) I call my actual doctor's office and demand that I see her today. They fit me in a 2pm spot. I take a shower and 10 minutes later I get a text and call from the reception saying doctor is out because she has the god da mn F L U. At this point I'm ready to give up. I have to put socks on my vagina so that the lesions don't touch each other and leak, I cry when I use the bathroom and I'm still scared to use the bathroom because of the infinite pain.
       
      I have no clue why I didn't do this in the first place, but my friend lives by a Planned Parenthood and so I marched my as s over there and I asked to be physically looked at and such. They fit me in.
       
      Nurse (one that checks you in, not the real doctor) asked me what symptoms were and what I've been taking, if anything. There's a medication that's made for humans but given to horses called SMZ. It's a STRONG antibiotic and my friend has Hashimoto's so her and her mom (her mother is my horse's farrier lol) told me at the very least take SMZ 3 times a day. I figure why the h ell not because it's not like anything will get worse. It just stopped the heavy slippery discharge, nothing else. So she admits me to the scary room with the freaky foot pedals, and I've never even seen a f uc king gyno? I don't know what to do but start hysterically crying. Doctor comes in ten minutes later and she tells me that she has to take a culture swab. The fact that I had just pis sed and disposed of my sock, opening all my lesions, I can barely even wipe my own as s. I'm sitting there crying hysterically telling her not to judge me because I made a stupid decision to have unprotected sex with a sh itty guy. She tells me she's gonna touch me with the testing swabs and the moment she touches me I'm crying and screaming at the top of my lungs PLEASE STOP PLEASE PLEASE STOP STOP STOP IT HURTS.
       
      I don't know why she thought this was a smart idea to tell me this but she straight up told me AND I QUOTE!!!!!
      "This is the worst and most severe case of herpes I have ever seen. I've been doing this for 36 years."
       
      Well that's awesome, I'm another statistic. I can't believe me it took 1 second to tell me I had herpes when I had been driving myself clinically insane for the since the last Thursday (this lasted Thursday to Monday). She gave me my medications and gave me a name of some supplements, and told me about socks being a good idea and whatever, pour water on myself when I pee so that it washes everything away, blah blah. Gives me my papers and I go back to my friend to confirm I have this fu cked up incurable disease. All the stress prior was gone. Done with my tears.
       
      I'm almost done with my first day of taking the meds. They feel a bit better. Unfortunately I'm on a time limit because I can't physically ride in this major horse show if I can't even sit on a still object. Hoping this at least stops feeling so painful by Thursday for my dressage test on Friday.
       
      thanks for listening the doctor at PP suggested I find one so I don't feel so alone
  • Trending Now

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,887
    • Total Posts
      471,625
  • Posts

    • viralfrog
      Little update again:  No improvements for me, still getting the same: constant redness on my penis, with tiny blisters forming as the old ones heal. This is together with continuous lethargy and a pulsating pain in my right groin lymph node. I also have sleeping problems, that are associated with the outbreaks. Usually, if the OB gets slightly better, I'll also sleep better. But right now, I wake up every morning too early like 6:30 feeling like my body is fighting something and I can't relax and sleep anymore. I get under 7 hours of sleep each night, but my body needs around 8-9 to feel normal. Unlike some others, I'm extremely sensitive to having enough sleep, which is also related to my heavy workouts. Of course it could be also the other way around, that I'm getting OBs because of poor sleep.  I went to get my bloods tested about a month ago and everything came back as normal (full blood count, thyroids etc.) but I found my vitamin D levels were low. I've been since spending a bit more time in the sun (normally avoid it) and eating a Vitamin D3 supplement daily (5000iu) without improvements to my OBs. I'm so disappointed, as I already got exited being onto something after finding that low Vitamin D-levels are associated inability of the body to fight viral diseases. Based on my research, 5000iu of D3 for several weeks should've definitely increased the levels by now, so I doubt that was the cause  . My testosterone and estradiol levels were also a bit high as I just changed testosterone medication, but I have confirmed in the past that this is not likely the cause.  My cortisol level was 17.3 ug% measured around 2pm (normal 3.7-19.4 ug% before 10AM, 2.9-17.3 ug% after 5PM). This could suggest that my cortisol levels are a bit high, but they are quite hard to measure and change during the day. I recall @IcantThinkofaName you suggested measuring these. Any comments? This was on a week day without any physical activities beforehand, except riding to the lab on a motorcycle in hot weather. Anyways, I can't really find any info on how to reduce these levels apart of relaxing more. For the record, I have tried quitting the gym completely (etc.).  I used some Xanax on the weekend which made me sleep well and feel much better. But obviously such addictive and strong benzodiazepine is not a long term solution. Next week I will try some cannabis to see if that helps with the sleep. I will get some indica strain and will vape it with a herbal vaporizer.  I will not give up the fight, next to try on the list: Confirm Vitamin D levels are back normal Quit whey protein for a week  Cannabis before bed  Amenalief at a higher dosage (200mg/day) Pritelivir from China Singles/varicella vaccine(?) ... any ideas welcome! 
    • Lost-hope
      If I could just piggy back off your idea and add a suggestion  how about with the same reasons you listed in your original statement, you / we start some type of petition or a mass email chain aimed at 60 minutes asking would they consider such a report ?
    • viralfrog
      That is interesting and I might try to stop it for a while or change brands. The thing is though, that I have been using whey protein daily for the last 10 years. I did change brand some time ago though to a pure, unflavoured whey isolate. I doubt that's the cause, but it's definitely worth a try. I'll see if I can find some alternatives for fast absorbing protein after my workouts. Maybe I can put chicken breast in the blender or similar.  I once tried this before I even hard Herpes and had a terrible side effect. It caused an itchy rash all over my groin.  Protected vaginal sex during days where my immunity was very low. Had been binge drinking on a party island.. but the condom broke, which is when I most likely caught the virus. 
    • Ali83
    • Joel7
      I don't think there's any awareness whatsoever of herpes in China. So I doubt it's a priority. Hopefully our western "awareness" won't spread to China any time soon.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.