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Newly Diagnosed and in need of resources HELP!

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Hey guys, I recently was diagnosed with HSV via a swab test. It started when my long term boyfriend moved across the state and into my apartment with me. We have been monogamous with each other for a year and a half but with it being long distance we had not been active for at least two months. I may have tore the first time we had sex since it had been awhile, I started developing discharge, odor and discomfort. Thinking this was a yeast infection I treated with an OTC one day vaginal suppository and topical cream at which point I began to BURN and develop lesions all over my perianal area. I promptly went to an urgent care clinic where they swabbed me. I tested positive for bacterial vaginitis and herpes (I need to follow up with if I have HSV1 or 2). My boyfriend denies having any other sexual partners while we have been together and I have a promiscuous past but no prior outbreaks or symptoms. He has not had any symptoms either. Am I correct in saying that there really is no way to know if he gave it to me or if it's been laying dormant for any length of time? Since he is asymptomatic he went to get a blood test this afternoon and we should find out in a few days whether or not he has it. This has been completely devastating for me. I know there are no serious life threatening complications other than occasional flare ups and discomfort but I can't shake feeling disgusting and repulsive. Sex and intimacy is an important part of our relationship and I'm scared about how this will affect that. He has been supportive thus far saying he doesn't love me any less, just a little frustrated that I never got tested sooner. Obviously we cannot have sex during an outbreak but how long should we wait to be active again? Can he perform oral sex on me if there is no OB? Can I perform oral sex on him if I don't have any open sores? Any resources with information of transmission rates would greatly be appreciated! 

Another big thing I am worried about is if he doesn't have it how do we prevent him from getting it without using condoms for the rest of our lives? And what precautions do I need to take when having an outbreak? Feel free to forward any helpful information you have picked up along your journey 


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Great, great questions @Newlydiagnosed08. I trust you will find all the answers here. I love your attitude, just so mature and spot on for a virus of this nature.

Type plays a role in your future expectations and actions. They can actually use the sample they have to correctly type it now, if you ring soon enough. Otherwise it is best to have a blood test right now, then one in a few weeks and see what turns positive. If this does happen by the way (negative to positive) then there is question of a recent infection from your partner.

This sounds like a primary outbreak, extremely likely it is. Nevertheless a small chance exists that you had it before the relationship (the blood testing would confirm this, as antibodies do not develop for at least 3 weeks, hence the need for a test now to correctly assess your baseline).

Also, your partner may well have had his herpes a long time, for example, HSV-1 since childhood.

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