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LilyMae

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LilyMae

Hi. I have had hsv2 for 21 years and have been lurking on this site off and on for about a year. What a marvelous community. When I was diagnosed there was nothing like this. Resourses to educate yourself about hsv were so hard to come by and forget about any community support or forum for sharing experiences. You were like a message in a bottle floating in an endless sea of stigma and ignorance. I would like to be a part of your community. 

If you have been recently diagnosed, I feel your alarm and fear and concern for how your life will be impacted by hsv. But I will tell you that my experience with this virus has actually been fairly positive. No pun intended. People are much kinder and much less judgemental and much braver than I would have ever thought. The stigma is always hard to deal with. But it gets easier as you are more sure of yourself and what the virus really is. And for the VAST majority of us the physical symptoms are about the least serious thing that could ever happen to you. I have literally had spider bites that caused me more problems.

I am interested in joining the secret Facebook groups that exist. I was wondering if anyone had any feedback on those groups they'd be willing to share with me.

Xox

 

 

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Free73

Hi Lily, welcome and thanks for sharing your story and for your generally optimistic and positive outlook. Fear of the future is the biggest problem most people seem to have with this virus, but it's always nice to hear from someone who has lived with it for so long who can provide hope for others newly infected or struggling for acceptance.

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LilyMae

Hi Free73. Thanks for responding and for the welcome. My outlook is actually super optimistic, though that might not be so evident in my post. H presents a situation in our lives that will for sure precipitate a change. Barring a comprimised immune system, it's really up to each of us, individually, what that change will be. Getting to know someone well enough to decide if they are a person you trust with deeply personal information before you sleep with them will, in truth, probably save you tons if trouble as the years pass by. And really, in my experience that has been the only significant impact hsv has had on my life. 

I'm really happy to be here on this site.

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Prettypony

"Getting to know someone well enough to decide if they are a person you trust with deeply personal information before you sleep with them will, in truth, probably save you tons if trouble as the years pass by"

I love how you said this! So true! Thank you

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Free73
1 hour ago, LilyMae said:

Hi Free73. Thanks for responding and for the welcome. My outlook is actually super optimistic, though that might not be so evident in my post. H presents a situation in our lives that will for sure precipitate a change. Barring a comprimised immune system, it's really up to each of us, individually, what that change will be. Getting to know someone well enough to decide if they are a person you trust with deeply personal information before you sleep with them will, in truth, probably save you tons if trouble as the years pass by. And really, in my experience that has been the only significant impact hsv has had on my life. 

I'm really happy to be here on this site.

I agree 100% Lily. For me, it drew a line in the sand as far as my relationships were concerned. For many of us it presents an opportunity for change and growth, but as humans, we resist change, even if it's change that needs to happen. I see it in myself and how I've changed since being diagnosed last year, but I also see myself at times fighting that change. In some ways, it's easier to just go back to old, dysfunctional behaviours, even though those behaviours didn't serve me well from a relationship perspective. It takes courage to change and H in many ways is the sign that life has given us to push us in the direction that we need to go.  

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LilyMae

Hi @Free73. Change is hard. It's true. How are you doing a year in? I was still breaking out a lot then. It took like 18 months for my body to get good at dealing with it. It barely bothers me now. 

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Lisajd

It is easy to fall back into old habits. Takes a concerted effort and to realise how you will feel if you go down that same path.  I thought for me it would stop the casual sex aspect but found it wasnt a problem for those type of guys but i have learned to make better choices

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Free73
27 minutes ago, LilyMae said:

Hi @Free73. Change is hard. It's true. How are you doing a year in? I was still breaking out a lot then. It took like 18 months for my body to get good at dealing with it. It barely bothers me now. 

I was diagnosed 12 months ago, but with the benefit of hindsight, I suspect I had it for years and just didn't know it. Funnily enough, the last 12 months I have had constant outbreaks on my butt cheek and inner thigh. For years before that, no outbreaks or if I did, I mistook it for an ingrown hair or pimple, but I now know it was herpes.

I'm now 43 so perhaps my body is going through testosterone changes and possibly reawakened the virus, i'm not sure

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LilyMae

@Free73 that stinks. I'm 45. I know what you mean about the hormonal changes. The body is constantly reinventing itself. Lol There are so many factors involved in how outbreaks affect us that it's hard to track. Hope you get some relief soon.

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Free73

it's all good Lily, my body responds quickly to the Valtrex, so it's never anything more than an inconvenient itch most of the time. I do get a lot of lethargy and tiredness when I have an outbreak though and that is more frustrating. Ageing sucks lol

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oneday
18 minutes ago, Free73 said:

it's all good Lily, my body responds quickly to the Valtrex, so it's never anything more than an inconvenient itch most of the time. I do get a lot of lethargy and tiredness when I have an outbreak though and that is more frustrating. Ageing sucks lol

I am always tired too. This virus and controlling it definitely takes it toll!! 

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