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Tinatwo

Did I infect him?

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Tinatwo

Hi guys, 

I got diagnosed with H2 about 6 months ago.  I got drugged at a club and raped...so I don't even know who infected me.  It was pretty devastating, especially because I didn't ever really sleep around before and had one boyfriend for the 5 years prior.  Since getting diagnosed, I have been taking anti-virals daily and hadn't had another outbreak. I have definitely been reserved with my feelings towards guys and never just randomly hooked up with anyone.  

Anywho, I had been seeing this guy and had gone a few dates with him.  The other night, we met out while we were pretty hammered,  and he came home with me.  He kept trying to have sex with me but I said no even though I wanted to because i actually liked him.  I ended up caving and we had sex with a condom. I figured it was fine because I had read there is a very low chance of transmitting if you are taking anti virals,  use protection,  and don't have an outbreak. I would have told him about having H if we started officially dating or if we didn't use a condom.  The next day we spent the whole day together and I left for vacation for 5 days.  The whole time I was gone,  he was messaging me and talking to me about how he cant wait to see..etc. Well,  when I got back,  he wouldn't respond to my message asking if he wanted to  hang out this week, which is so weird cuz everything was so good. I miss raged him again yesterday and asked if he was dead or just ignoring me and said I wanted to see him again.  He replied and said he had been busy.  Then yesterday,  I felt like an outbreak was coming on... Pretty sure it's an outbreak,  so I am afraid I have transmitted it to him.  I don't really know what to do at this point.  I haven't told anyone I have H and don't really have anyone to talk to.  I live in a smallish town and know a lot of people... So I'm afraid to tell anyone and then other people finding out.  It sucks if that is the case because I actually liked him and feel like I've ruined everything. 

Sorry for the long post.  I just need to get it off my chest.  Any advice? I'm probably a horrible person for not telling him before we had sex but i didn't intend for it all to happen. 

Thanks! 

T

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joebow

Tough one.

I believe you have the best of intentions; but it obviously would of been a better option to refrain from intercourse so soon before discussing the H (although to be fair; it takes two to tango, and it seems like he was persistent and didn't consider or care for possible consequences anyway etc).

Just give it time and see what happens; he may contact you yet. If not; there's no point in "incriminating" (or exposing) yourself. For all you know; he may of caught H from someone else he may of slept with while you where away (or he may even of already had it).

 

.... anyway; don't sweat it.

Much love x

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Free73

Why do you suspect that you may have infected him? Is it because he suddenly stopped contact?

I will throw another scenario at you. Perhaps he was simply interested in having sex with you, got what he wanted and is no longer interested in following up? I don't say that to sound cruel, but there are millions of guys out there doing that every day. He may well be busy, but it does sound like he might be palming you off.

Sex may have triggered the outbreak, so it's likely that you were not in prodrome prior to having sex with him and that having sex could have triggered the outbreak, which should mean you were not contagious while having sex.

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Lisajd

You have contacted him and if he doesnt get back you know the answer. Hes no longer interested.   Agree that its not likely you passed it to him on a one off.  

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Tinatwo

Thanks everyone! That makes me feel better.  I think I have just been paranoid  because it was the first time I had sex with someone since getting H.  I'm sure it's something else.  It was just super weird though because he was all about me even after we had sex.. Even when I was gone... And then as soon as I was back,  just totally uninterested.  But his loss I guess...time to move on. 

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