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Blaire

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Blaire

Hello,

i was in a relationship for two years. Two months into the relationship we were both diagnosed with genital herpes. We got prescribed the needed meds. But now we're broken up. I have been talking to a man everyday for the past six weeks. We've known of each other for 6 years but now that we are both single we have been talking on a romantic level. I am planning to visit him in a few months as he doesn't live in the same state as I. I am unsure whether to disclose my status before during or after my visit. We've been flirting back and forth with one another. Is kissing ok? I am thinking of taking my meds everyday. Dr said it's up to me if I want to take everyday or only during outbreak. My last ob was two years ago when I was first diagnosed. Advice please!

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LillianPanos
3 minutes ago, Blaire said:

Hello,

i was in a relationship for two years. Two months into the relationship we were both diagnosed with genital herpes. We got prescribed the needed meds. But now we're broken up. I have been talking to a man everyday for the past six weeks. We've known of each other for 6 years but now that we are both single we have been talking on a romantic level. I am planning to visit him in a few months as he doesn't live in the same state as I. I am unsure whether to disclose my status before during or after my visit. We've been flirting back and forth with one another. Is kissing ok? I am thinking of taking my meds everyday. Dr said it's up to me if I want to take everyday or only during outbreak. My last ob was two years ago when I was first diagnosed. Advice please!

My first thought is go and tell him in person...as maybe when you see each other you will know.. Though i admit I sometimes dont do it right! I told my guy after we dated for 6 weeks kissing only, then knew it was going to be more. I had him get tested he has h1 orally, I have h on genitals not sure if its 1 or 2...He has totally accepted it...

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Lisajd

What type do.you have. Kissing is fine if its genital hsv.    I think it depends re disclosing.  If it were me id say before hand as id not want to waste my time or money travelling if hes not ok with it.  Is he the sort who would leave you high and dry if you tell him in person.    Personally i would have said something already as now you have built up feelings and thats hard if he says no.  Just my thoughts. Do whats right for you

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Blaire

I have genital hsv. I think I should say before hand as well. He's not the type to leave you high and dry I don't think, but I don't want the rest of the time being awkward. Last night I mentioned flying out soon and he said he wants to stay in the hotel with me. We've never discussed sex and he's never even asked for a picture of me. He just enjoys seeing my pictures online. So I always assumed he would be a complete gentleman and not try anything but now he's expressing otherwise. I'm super fucking nervous now.

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Lisajd

You could say that you want to take it slow and get to know him before sleeping together but if you think you may not be able to hold back tell him about h.  

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herpinator mgoo

Go see him and tell him....if he likes you, well, worst case scenario there are other things you two could do together. Wink Wink

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Blaire
9 hours ago, herpinator mgoo said:

Go see him and tell him....if he likes you, well, worst case scenario there are other things you two could do together. Wink Wink

Lol thank you

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herpinator mgoo

For real. I had a crush on a woman many many years before I got infected, and I knew she had hsv2. I did not act on my feelings because I had a partner already....but I fantasized about how we could enjoy each others bodies, working around it, as it were. And that was long before I really knew anything about the virus.

 

I could get in trouble for writing some erotic fiction right now....

She was beautiful and I loved her personality. I'd have been ecstatic just to touch her elsewhere and kiss her, while she handled one particular region herself. Then of course there were things she could do for me....I'd track her down now, but that was, idk, 15 years ago. Shoot, now I'm trying to remember her last name. Don't think I ever got it!

Now go get that man and enjoy life as much as you can, while you yet live.

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SureWhyNot
1 hour ago, herpinator mgoo said:

She was beautiful and I loved her personality. I'd have been ecstatic just to touch her elsewhere and kiss her, while she handled one particular region herself. Then of course there were things she could do for me....I'd track her down now, but that was, idk, 15 years ago. Shoot, now I'm trying to remember her last name. Don't think I ever got it!

That is lovely. Wish I was the right age and it was me. I hope that everyone who reads this keeps this in mind. We do not have the right to think for someone else, hard enough to do it for ourselves.

Edited by SureWhyNot
Please do not take insult that I thought you could not think for yourself, speaking for myself.

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Blaire

So I finally told him. There was another guy I was talking to that was more interested in me than I was him. And so I sort of used him as a guinea pig. It did not go well. I told him I had herpes. He gave me a lecture and when I rebuttled he stopped communicating. So that was discouraging. I really battled with when I should tell the guy I actually want to be serious with. I decided to tell him today since my trip is scheduled for mid January. I told him I get cold sores (vague I know. I was hoping he'd catch on). He replied that that was ok and that he knew a lot of people who get them. I asked him if he knew people that got them on their genitals and he said if he did they did not make him aware. I explained to him that if I had another ob that that is where mine would occur. He then asked was it an std. that's when I knew he didn't know much about herpes. So I explained letting him know that I had genita herpes. He said that he's still interested and that I should've known how understanding he is. Thank you all for the much needed support and advice.

Edited by Blaire

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Sansa218

Good for you, Blaire!  I am glad that the right guy was OK.  Be prepared for him to ask some more questions and have answers for him.  He sounds like a good guy.

As for the jerk - he is a total LOSER.  No one should be lectured to.  He is a LITTLE MAN if he cannot be civil and honest with you.  He's a coward.  Not worth your time. 

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Blaire
4 hours ago, Sansa218 said:

Good for you, Blaire!  I am glad that the right guy was OK.  Be prepared for him to ask some more questions and have answers for him.  He sounds like a good guy.

As for the jerk - he is a total LOSER.  No one should be lectured to.  He is a LITTLE MAN if he cannot be civil and honest with you.  He's a coward.  Not worth your time. 

Omg yes he was a complete ass! I'm getting myself education because I know once it sinks in for him he will have all types of questions.

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Sansa218

There's a link somewhere here to a herpes handbook that is very detailed, and there are also very good 1 page sheets.  Check resources on this site.  Have a good night and feel proud of yourself!

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Blaire
2 minutes ago, Sansa218 said:

There's a link somewhere here to a herpes handbook that is very detailed, and there are also very good 1 page sheets.  Check resources on this site.  Have a good night and feel proud of yourself!

I'll look for it I know I can benefit from it. Thank you and goodnight.

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SureWhyNot

Read everything you can but only concentrate on what Your body does with this virus. You will learn your clues and triggers, your body will guide you through this, you just need to learn to listen. When you are attuned to yourself your confidence will follow and you can enjoy every aspect of your relationship. Congratulations.

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Hansje

Thank you for sharing this! You are very couragious and are an example for me. On day I will dare do "the talk", also thanks to you.

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Blaire
10 hours ago, Hansje said:

Thank you for sharing this! You are very couragious and are an example for me. On day I will dare do "the talk", also thanks to you.

No problem!

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Blaire
11 hours ago, SureWhyNot said:

Read everything you can but only concentrate on what Your body does with this virus. You will learn your clues and triggers, your body will guide you through this, you just need to learn to listen. When you are attuned to yourself your confidence will follow and you can enjoy every aspect of your relationship. Congratulations.

Thank you so much!

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