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Zorojg11

Last post, thinking of suicide

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Zorojg11

Guys thanks for all your help over these past months, but I can't deal with this, it's just too much, I'm not in denial, I know the virus sheds a lot (hsv1) and now I've found out that you don't always have cold sores outside the mouth , so she must've had them in her mouth, just keep me in your prayers, everything bad is happening to me and I really don't know why, I made the worst mistake of my life, immediately after the deed was done I thought herpes, and I guess I was on the money, I'm having all these symptoms , and I'm sitting here crying, I don't know what else to do, thanks so much for all the advice guys ,You guys are so freaking strong

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LillianPanos

Hi please call me 954 849 0134

10 minutes ago, Zorojg11 said:

Guys thanks for all your help over these past months, but I can't deal with this, it's just too much, I'm not in denial, I know the virus sheds a lot (hsv1) and now I've found out that you don't always have cold sores outside the mouth , so she must've had them in her mouth, just keep me in your prayers, everything bad is happening to me and I really don't know why, I made the worst mistake of my life, immediately after the deed was done I thought herpes, and I guess I was on the money, I'm having all these symptoms , and I'm sitting here crying, I don't know what else to do, thanks so much for all the advice guys ,You guys are so freaking strong

 

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AychEsVee

I hope Zorojg sees this, but for all who wander into this topic:

Herpes is life changing, it should never be life-ending.

 

I don't pretend to know other variables  that may contribute to suicidal ideations for herpes carriers. The virus definitely brings with it a lot of feelings of isolation, regret, anxiety, all which exacerbate or even help birth suicidal ideations. With that in mind, herpes in and of itself should not obstruct you enjoying life. It's tough to get over, no one's denying that, but once you do, I think you acquire a particular strength that helps you see the bigger picture of things, that herpes doesn't necessarily hinder or prevent you from reaching your goals.

If your fears primarily stem from having relationships, trust me, there are people out there who will fuck you, who will date you, who will marry you. There are virus-free people out there who are huge pieces of shit, or who are still lonely. You can't look at it like the be-all end-all for human contact. You owe yourself more than that.

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WilsoInAus

There's nothing more we can do. As we have tried to tell you, you don't have herpes, however it's your choice to believe or disbelieve.

HSV-1, which we all need to be aware that it's highly likely we will get it one day is zero reason for the 4 billion with it to self harm.

Youve got all the facts and all the advice. However only you can choose what's best for you.

Frankly your behaviour is simply immature and selfish. As harsh as it seems, you simply need to get a grip and all will be fine.

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Zorojg11

I keep getting what I think are blisters on my butt and thighs and a red spot appeared on my penis last month , after drinking and stress

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Sansa218

Zorojg, please talk to someone you trust as soon as possible, even call a suicide hotline if you have to....do not do anything you will not have a chance to change.  I realize you are scared and horrified and devastated, you need to get these feelings out.  

Ask yourself what you would do if your closest friend or relative came to you and told you they were considering suicide because of an STD.  Would you be as harsh on them as you are being on yourself?  Wouldn't you try to reason with them and tell them how important they are to you in your life?  Wouldn't you look at the FACTS about herpes and explain that it can be managed?  Suicide is NOT A SOLUTION, it is the END of EVERYTHING.  It's sad and it really hurts those you love in ways that changes their lives immeasurably.   Even worse, if you try and don't succeed, you could end up in a permanently compromised/disabled/vegetative state.  How long would you want to live like that?  Isn't the possibility of that worse than this infection?

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Seeker1960
27 minutes ago, Zorojg11 said:

I keep getting what I think are blisters on my butt and thighs and a red spot appeared on my penis last month , after drinking and stress

You have to get your emotions under control. You may not have herpes. If you do then there are some things you can to do to help things. A lot of vaccines are being developed and one could be available in a little as a year. I hate I have this also but life is good and worth living even with herpes.

Get some counseling and talk it out. It is going to be okay. 

Hang in there we are in your corner!

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Free73

For fuck's sake, get a grip. So far you have tested negative.

If you really have blisters, then go and get them swabbed. Until such time as you test positive, you need to get off here and stop this nonsense.

Big deal, you got a blow job from a prostitute and it's the end of the world!!

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Zorojg11

Ok ,idk what imgonna do but thanks guys, it's crazy because I fear losing my gf,and I've had one of them swabbed but I think it was too late, and I had NGU which means something Infected me, I've had what I think is like 6 signs in 2-3 months....that's a lot 

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Zorojg11

But what are the fucking odds the redness (suspected herpes) would show up in the same area that got irritated before this encounter ? I always have a weird irritation there when use wrong soaps....and it came in went in a day? 

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Seeker1960
10 hours ago, Free73 said:

For fuck's sake, get a grip. So far you have tested negative.

If you really have blisters, then go and get them swabbed. Until such time as you test positive, you need to get off here and stop this nonsense.

Big deal, you got a blow job from a prostitute and it's the end of the world!!

I don't think you have to be so harsh with the guy. He is young and scared. Even if he doesn't have herpes you can see he is concerned and has questions. May be he does have it and maybe he doesn't. He came for advise and guidance. Give the guy a break nobody comes here to just BS about herpes as a hobby.

For some of us a BJ was the end of the World as we knew it.

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Free73
5 hours ago, Seeker1960 said:

I don't think you have to be so harsh with the guy. He is young and scared. Even if he doesn't have herpes you can see he is concerned and has questions. May be he does have it and maybe he doesn't. He came for advise and guidance. Give the guy a break nobody comes here to just BS about herpes as a hobby.

For some of us a BJ was the end of the World as we knew it.

I have read every one of his 62 posts and responded  Sometimes peole need some tough love. Personally i think he should get off this site and seek help from a therapist.

And what's with the drama? End of the world as you knew it? You didnt go through a nuclear holocaust.....that sort of over dramatic language is childish

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Seeker1960

I'm not here to debate and argue with anyone. Yes you are right it is not a nuclear holocaust but it is statement that has been used as descriptive of the feeling of lost that people experience who can still remember what their lives were like before herpes. I guess having feelings is childish and dramatic in your Vulcan view point.

Is everything just about medical science, testing and rebuking people who don't approach this virus in the approved forum manner? People come here for support and may not be on the same spiritual, emotional & intellectual plateau that you are on. 

Tough love is fine but you actually have to love the person your giving it to.  They also have to know that you love them if not then it only comes across as plain old verbal abuse.

Edited by Seeker1960

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imsu

Don't die. I lost my bf by blaming him to transmit it to me. But he didn't want to support me neither take responsibility but he instead left me. Now I left alone with this virus. I wanted to die but I can't. A lot of people will be heartbreaking. please don't do it. we can overcome.

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SureWhyNot

Zorog11 Please see an infectious disease professional. There are a lot of things we have no idea about until we need to know. There are infections such as Impetigo and Moluscum that may mimic hsv. You could have a bacterial infection. You could be sensitive to wheat or some food. It could be a reaction to the laundry soap on a sensitive patch of skin you did not know was sensitive until the reaction. Fear is your enemy not an infection. The infection will not kill you but you are saying you will do that. You are giving this too much power over you. Your GF needs you and your strength. Whatever it is you can fight back with knowledge and determination, not fear. 

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Hansje
On 12-11-2016 at 8:39 AM, Zorojg11 said:

But what are the fucking odds the redness (suspected herpes) would show up in the same area that got irritated before this encounter ? I always have a weird irritation there when use wrong soaps....and it came in went in a day? 

If soaps cause irritation, it might be just that, allergie to soap. And an outbreak doesn't come and go in a day. So maybe the soap is the cause. 

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crazypuglady

I definitely think this sounds more like Impetigo than herpes from my experience due to the location of the blisters (I have had both). They are really similar and both recur in the same location. My advise is to take a deep breath and then book to see both a doctor and a counselor to discuss your concerns and how you are feeling and your symptom. I hope this dark stage of your life passes. 

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Avneeshtheboss

Man i signed up just to adress this little guy....yo, please chill, i'm kind going through the same thing and have also been to alot of drs just like you, I think ive seen your posts on other forums too, heres something to give you a little hope, and I know I may get persecuted by some individuals on this site but idc, because all of my drs, which are rash/ infectious disease specialists have said this about testing, I see you said you tested negative at 6 weeks correct? Ok, man half of people infected test positive by 3 weeks, around 80 percent by 6 weeks, and mostly everyone by 4 months(16 weeks), the ONLY reason people with no degree in medicine and some drs say to test accurately only at 3-4 months ,, is because theyre being very conservative ,which is a good thing, because some people dont test positive until then, but thats a really good indicator man, same for HIV, a 6 week negative is a damn good indicator , please reply so we all know you're ok, I know it sucks man , seeing everyone else happy and stuff, and this is on your mind all day right? give me some feedback man, and Hi guys, I just signed up:)

 

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Avneeshtheboss

http://www.healthassist.net/medical/herpes-test.shtml

look at this, and many other sites say this, hell if you type in google when to test for hsv thats the time length it gives,

If youre still worried about the symptoms grab another test at 4 months but listen to your drs man, ok?

and forget about the NGU thing , most cases of herpetic urethritis is like pissing shards of glass,

But take what I say with a grain of salt,

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Zorojg11

Thanks man I appreciate you trying to help, my dr told me the same thing about the test especially since I had no hsv infection before , and my symptoms were like red hives that turned into white heads that I could squeeze pus out of, and a very red spot on my oenis glans

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WilsoInAus

Also as you are aware, they sound absolutely nothing like herpes lesions and I'm sure you were told by your doctor that they were not herpes.

Herpes isn't your issue.

You are going to have to start to come clean with yourself... what is your issue? what do you really fear?

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Lisajd

Even if it is herpes it is not the end of the world do you think the however many million people in this world actually have herpes consider their life is over.   You made a mistake you fooled around with a prostitute and now you cant deal with the consequences, id say that is what your problem is. If you havent tested positive then its something else or your mindser is creating symptoms.  now everyone here has done there best to support you.    I think a little bit of perspective is required here in your case and if you're still having some sort of symptoms go back to your doctor and some other skin specialist until you get the answers but he's tested negative then you don't have herpes

Edited by Lisajd

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