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Znpaz1990

Relationship with negative/positive

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Znpaz1990

Hey guys. 

 

Ive been dating someone for about 7 months now.  I disclosed to him that I had hav1 on our first date. He spent time thinking about it and I didn't pressure him to do anything. We continued to date and now we are falling in love. But, we also agreed we aren't going to have sex or do anything where I can pass hsv to him. I would feel terrible if things didn't work out and he had to deal with what I do. He also said he's still afraid of it. So, we are waiting until marriage. 

 

Anyone else in the same boat? How do you deal with it when it gets tough? 

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WilsoInAus

Although waiting for marriage to have sex is great, I don't think taking a fear of herpes into a marriage is such a great idea.

As we are talking HSV-1 here, he should test to learn his status, it is more likely than not that he has this already and is at no further risk. That would be a pretty sweet outcome.

Is your HSV-1 oral or genital? How long have you had it?

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Lisajd

If he is still afraid of it is waiting till marriage going to resolve that.  Not being negative here but what if the marriage doesnt work out and he has it.   He needs to have a long hard think about it as a doubt will always be a doubt and your both developing feelings and investing time in each other.  But as wilso says get him tested.

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Znpaz1990
4 hours ago, WilsoInAus said:

Although waiting for marriage to have sex is great, I don't think taking a fear of herpes into a marriage is such a great idea.

As we are talking HSV-1 here, he should test to learn his status, it is more likely than not that he has this already and is at no further risk. That would be a pretty sweet outcome.

Is your HSV-1 oral or genital? How long have you had it?

I will recommend he gets tested. I think we need to have a talk about it all again. Good points brought up! I've had it since 2012. Both. 

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WilsoInAus

It is very unlikely you have HSV-1 booth orally and genitally. Is there anything that makes you think that you do?

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Znpaz1990

I was tested for it and confirmed. I get outbreaks once in a long while both orally and genitally. Why is it unlikely? 

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WilsoInAus

Most people are infected orally with HSV-1 during childhood and cannot get a subsequent infection.

What testing did you have?

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