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Newly diagnosed/ sad

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So i recently found out that i got HSV 1. I hooked up with two guys in the same week and am still figuring out who gave it to me but honestly at this point I don't really care. I have read so much on the virus and honestly don't find it to be a big deal expect maybe a wake up call to use protection. Although the day i found out i was very shaken up and it was the day after me and my ex had sex. 

I felt discomfort the night before but i assumed it was like any discomfort that I've gotten before down there so i didn't pay too much attention to it.  I didn't want to have sex originally but he pressured me and eventually i caved since i hadn't seen him in a month. The next day i felt discomfort again but worst so i got a mirror and automatically knew it was hsv i went straight to the doctor freaking out and crying. I thought the responsible thing to do was warn my ex who i was supposed to hang out with later that day. I shot him a text saying we needed to talk and i tried to be really mature about it but he did not make that easy. Anyways when i got the actual results back he flipped out on me and tried to make me feel so bad about catching hsv 1 and didn't believe me when i said i really had no idea prior to us having sex.  I don't like to start drama so i just let him call me what he wanted and knew that would be the last time he would talk to me. its been a really shitty experience because before this we were really close to getting back together. I sent him another link tonight a really helpful one and told him it was the last time i would ever contact him because i knew he had a lot of anxiety when we dated and he just responded within i got tested i don't have it don't contact me ever again. i feel really shitty right now. i guess he's just a much worst person than i thought he was but i don't feel that different from  getting hsv 1 i just am sad that someone who i could care so much about and was so nice to and responsibly told him  about my diagnosis could still make me feel like a freak and that i am worst than him. it just really sucks. I'm typically a very confident outgoing person and i don't think hsv will bring me down. I honestly do believe that the only difference between me and more than half of America is that I'm actually aware i have the virus and they aren't. i just don't know if ill ever be able to disclose to someone and not be insecure  after the way my ex reacted. 

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Hsv1 is typically acquired via oral sex.  Do you know if either have had cold sores?  Its less likely to get it via sex more so through oral.  Perhaps the reason hes reacted so is he knows he has it.  Hsv1 is less severe in terms of obs and transmission so you will be fine. 

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Hi there.

Don't worry about your ex. If nothing else, you dodged a bullet, he sounds like an immature tool, so in that respect, herpes did you a big favour. Its funny how contracting herpes can confirm our instincts about certain people in our lives. Fuck him off and move forward with your life.

I wish you well

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