Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group

Newly diagnosed HSV. What changes for my partner and I?

Recommended Posts


So at age 50 I got my first OB of anything in my genitals ever this weekend. Felt like a cut, then more discomfort, then to my horror I look closely and see the ulcers, 2 on my penis and multiple ones on my scrotum. Doc takes one look and confidently says I have HSV just yesterday. Puts me on AV meds and now its time to start my new life with HSV. I'm upset but really OK with it. Life happens. I've made it to 50 without anything major happening and I am in really great health. I have enjoyed a pretty perfect life for most of it. So I consider myself blessed and am taking this in stride. 

Any help would be most appreciated. 

A little background, I am in a committed relationship for the last year with a wonderful woman. We are getting married next month. I assume I got HSV from her as previously I was with the same partner for 30 years with neither of us ever having any type of issues and there was never any infidelity. Besides my fiance also got out of a two year relationship with a guy that had HSV prior to being with me. So one can assume it most likely transmitted from her to me. She shows no symptoms but we both assume she has HSV and we are seeking further tests to confirm it.

So questions from an HSV newbie:

1. My fiance and I have a tremendous sex life. We are both healthy, thin, super fit athletes that enjoy all forms of sexual pleasure. We both enjoy frequent and passionate sex.  So if we both have HSV, what needs to change if anything? We've never used condoms as she has an IUD. Any reason to use them now? Any type of sex that should be off limits? We both LOVE giving and receiving oral sex. Does any of that need to change?

2. Should we both go on AV as needed when we feel an OB coming on? Any reason to take as a suppressant. My doc pretty much left it up to me. He said he has patients that do it either way. He gave me a prescription for Valtrex, 500mg, twice per day., with 6 months refills 

3.  How long will your 1st OB take to heal up? Its been 4 days since I noticed the first visible ulceration. Today is my 2nd day on Valtrex.

I know I will have a million more questions but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment. 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you both have it, you're ironically in luck. Go crazy in bed. Just be careful not to touch an outbreak and wash your hands right after if you do, because it can be spread to another part of the body  (though rare). Avoid sex during outbreaks though for the same reason, plus it can be uncomfortable. This doesn't have to change anything between you two, other than awareness of overall health. Stay healthy and stress free, ad outbreaks will be more controllable.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

There are aspects in what you describe that would make me question whether this was genital herpes at all.

However here is a perfect example where you have the opportunity to kick HSV into irrelevance. Look at what you have, sounds awesome to me and clearly what makes you both feel happy.

You know the best thing you can do? Just forget it. You know how you have a million questions? Let them go, none of it is relevant.

If this is herpes, then so what? Nothing you can do about it for now. What would you want to do about it or change in your life. Both you and your partner may get a genital sore now and again, so what? You do not need antivirals unless your outbreak frequency is pretty bad. No sex is off limits at all. 

You can completely drop the issue for years and then potentially revisit things if there is a vaccine available. But until then, just get on with what you want in your life

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Psyc4herbs
      Medical knowledge in the 50s doubled every 50 years. But guess how fast the knowledge is doubling now? 1 year. Cures are coming. This is why there is a worldwide debate on healthcare. Some want to own your health others want the cures for free. You being desperate will trample on the next person to get it whereas someone else will hope the cure is free for all.  The fight isn't for a cure anymore it's for who owns the cure. The people or the elite. With medical knowledge doubling every year and soon every 6 months with the assistance of AI a cure will be ready by 2025.  Finally the west has competition who wants to be the world's leader; China. They want to cure diseases because they want rid of capitalism and religion. May the winner have it all.
    • Quest
      Herpes simplex virus-2 transmission probability estimates based on quantity of viral shedding - NCBI by JT Schiffer · 2014 · Cited by 36 · Related articles Feb 28, 2014 · Valaciclovir, dosed once daily, lowered the HSV-2 transmission rate in a clinical ...... Reactivation of genital herpes simplex virus type 2 infection in     Maybe the answer is here. Did the westover heights contain the answer? Wilso would know. 
    • WilsoInAus
      This isn't some 1940s crime detective novel mate! We don't have process of elimination, we have active diagnosis. But to hell with that. You do not have to prove anything to doctors. They're just a bunch of clowns with meaningless tests! You're the man, you make the decisions. Whether you think you have herpes, or whether you think you don't, you're right. Be a man, be confident, if you have HSV-2 then own up to it. Stop camping around at doctors offices. Stride right back to that girl in your loosest jocks with lots of stretch room for those swollen gonads. Slam open the bedroom door and announce you're here to show her what a night with real man feels like, minus Trojans!
    • RainyDay2
      To answer your question, I have been living with pain and burning in my penis for a year now.  My symptoms started within 48 hours of attempted sex with someone who has HSV2. Doctors can’t figure it out.  I’m 90% certain HSV2 is the culprit.  All my issues started directly after the exposure.  Itching, tingling, constipation, nerve burning, testicle pain and back pain. And they all come and go. I only got a large bump in my pubic area days after the exposure.  A large amount of people with herpes don’t get typical looking lesions, so you can’t base it on that.   Hopefully you find your answer.  I pretty much have mine but have to prove it to my doctors by way of elimination.  
    • Phoenixx
      OMG if I had only known that 5 years ago... doctors have no clue of this.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.