My Story

[Kelly24]

Here's my story, I know it's long but I felt the need to share it

In May 2015, I woke up in the morning with what looked like a gross bug bite on my right upper outer thigh.  Little tiny bumps clustered together in a form the size of a quarter.  I thought immediately it was a spider bite.  In fact I called my older sister to chit chat and mentioned to her my bizarre bug bite, and that it looked like "a spider took revenge on me".  As the the rest of the day went on, the bumps started to grow and by night time they all formed together to form one large blister.  That's when I started to get worried.  I thought I was bitten by a brown recluse or a poisonous spider.  Never did I think Herpes could be a possible diagnosis.  At this time I was studying to take my board exam, so naturally I was under a lot of stress, sleep deprived etc. I called my parents and sister and showed them pictures of this blister on my leg.  They told me to watch it and check back in the morning.  The next morning the blister had grown and it was sort of itchy.  By that time I was in full panic.  I decided to call the doctor... I had free health care and had to go to the only available clinic in my city.  I saw the Doctor and they had n no idea of what was happening.  She said it looked like a skin irritation.  She prescribed me antibiotics and sent me on my way.  I didn't feel good about her diagnosis, and being in the health care field along with other members of my family, we needed more answers.  So I went to the ER, after waiting for 2 1/2 hours I was seen. Again the Nurse and Doctor on duty had no idea what was going on, so they prescribed me an antiviral and an antibiotic... None of which I took, knowing that I still didn't get a clear answer and I don't want to bombard my body with a bunch of medications.  

    So the next day I went back to the free clinic hoping to get a referral for a dermatologist because the blister seemed to be getting worse.  Thankfully I got a referral.  The next day I got an appointment.  I showed my blister to the Derm. and she immediately said "yes thats herpes".  I broke down in tears, fearing the worst.  She looked at me like I was crazy, and said "oh no sweetie not genital herpes. Its just a cold sore on your thigh". I asked her how someone contracts a cold-sore on the thigh?  She continued to tell me that you can contract it from sitting on a toilet seat... A TOILET SEAT! If I knew then what I know now, I probably would laughed in her face and walked out, but I knew nothing about about Herpes at that time.  Not to mentioned she took one look at the lesions and came up with that diagnosis... literally 5 seconds.  So I left her office feeling very disheartened and completely a wreck especially with the last couple days I endured.  I still did not have a clear answer of what was wrong with.  Could this really be a cold sore? Can that type of thing show up on the outer thigh?  So to make a long story short, I thought I had some skin infection, it healed with a week or so and I went on with life, not thinking twice about what was really happening with my health.  

    Almost a year to the day, after a vacation in the sun with booze and little sleep, I felt a little bump in the same spot.  The next day blisters formed in a little cluster and it was very painful around the lesion site.  Still I shied away from the thought of a herpes infection... stupid I know.  But because it was on my outer thigh I didn't think it could be herpes.  Well whatever it was healed within a week, and I started dating someone.

    Within about a month of dating, we got pretty serious.  He went on a trip and during that time I had a lot of pain in that same leg and eventually blisters started to form again.  Thats when I knew that I most likely had herpes and I had to get tested right away.  So I got a blood test, I prayed and pleaded that the tests would come back negative or I would only test positive for HSV-1... And unfortunately my test results were positive for HSV 2 and Negative for HSV 1.  I showed high levels of the antibody for HSV 2 so there was no denying it, I had genital herpes... on my outer thigh.  

    The pain, anger, fright, sadness, and every horrible feeling you could imagine came over me.  And to make everything so much worse, I could have given it to someone I cared about and wanted to be with.  And if that wasn't bad enough I had to tell him about it.  He got back from his trip, and I told him right away.  I said I would never do anything to hurt you, or cause you harm and I am SOOO sorry for everything.  Thankfully he was very calm about everything.  He got tested the next day.  He was negative... "Thank God", I thought.  He also told me that he still wanted to date me.  Unfortunately I think he got cold feet and decided this diagnosis was a deal breaker for him, so we broke up.  

    Although it was sad losing him, especially knowing that he most likely ended it due to my HSV 2 diagnosis, I wasn't discouraged.  Telling him I had herpes and being COMPLETELY honest with him about it was the scariest and most uncomfortable thing I've ever done.  But it was also the most bravest thing I've ever done.  If I had the strength to do that, then I can conquer anything.  In hindsight, its almost better having to tell someone something like this, because in order to get close or intimate with someone, I have to tell them about my HSV 2 and I would only share this secret with someone I really trust and really care about.  Someone I see a future with.  It causes me to be far more picky with potential partners.  And that's a good thing.  

    Don't get me wrong, I still get discouraged and depressed, and life is far more difficult now than before my diagnosis.  I still get sad, I still get angry, I still get embarrassed.  But life is too short to feel as if I'm doomed to walk alone forever.  In fact I know its not true.  Even though I have herpes, I still deserve the same happiness as anyone with or without this virus.  I know it's possible to have complete happiness.  When I told my parents about having herpes, one of my parents told me they've had genital herpes since their early 20's, and they have never spread it to my other parent in the 30 years they've been together.  I was shocked with this info, but it did make me feel a little better.  It made me realize that you can have a healthy relationship, a family, or whatever else your heart desires!  Life is precious, no matter your diagnosis! 

 

[dsharon]

I like and appreciate your story - the part about one of your parents having herpes must have been quite the revelation. I'm not sure I'll ever tell my kids that I have it, but I did have to tell my wife which was not pleasant,

When you state "life is far more difficult now "   - is that really true ?  I'm thinking something like cancer diabetes paralysis  and so on would make life far more difficult, I find it annoying and has impacted my marital relationship, but admittedly my perspective is different being older and attached. 

 

[elnino]

Interesting story, Kelly. Thanks for sharing.

So, do you know how you were infected? Could it have been from a previous partner? It's somewhat unusual for the first outbreak to be on the outer thigh. I've never heard a doctor say it could be acquired from a toilet seat, though I have read a few mysterious cases over the years.