I'm so lost

[Nab727]

Hello Everyone! Last night I was diagnosed with HS2, I went to the ER because the pain became intolerable especially when urinating. I read a few topics on here & doctor also said that it can lie dormant (hope I'm saying it right) for years without an outbreak so you can have it & just not know. Me & my partner haven't been on really good terms, things fell way off & yes there has been infidelity. He made his appointment to get tested & I made my follow up appt with my OBGYN but here's the thing, I read that you can only expose someone to it if you have sex during an outbreak & this is my first one. What if he dont have it ? Although he slept with other females ? If I did have it for a long time & I'm just now getting an outbreak, where do I go from here ? I know I am a bit all over the place , please bare with me. I'm just stuck 

[Newtothisandscared]

Are you sure you have type 2 and not type 1 genitally? I was just diagnosed with type 1 genitally (from oral sex); my active lesion was swabbed and cultured. For pain, epsom salt baths helped me wonders. From what i am learning, both hsv1 and 2 shed, from active lesions and also asymptomatically....

[herpes454]

Reading between the lines (always dangerous), it seems there might have been infidelity on both sides?  If yes then either of you could have been the ultimate "source" in your relationship and possibly not have known it until now when you had an outbreak.  You'll know more once he gets tested, if he comes back negative then perhaps any outside contact on your end was the source.  If he also tests positive and you both experienced infidelity then it really won't tell you much other than you both have HSV.  Of course if only he had contact outside the relationship and you did not...and he is also positive then it's likely he was the source.  You can definitely infect someone else even though you are not showing any symptoms.  It's called asymptomatic shedding, and unfortunately it means that having sex without symptoms doesn't mean you can't transmit/receive the virus. 

In any case, assuming your diagnosis is correct then you likely do have HSV2 and you now have to switch to "coping mode".  It's not the end of the world, OBs will usually get less severe and less frequent over time, and life will go on.  There's tons of info on here for dealing with OBs day-to-day.

If you are worried about transmitting to a future partner (or your current partner if he is not already infected), you can go on suppressive therapy with Valtrex/valacyclovir and it drastically reduces the chances of transmitting (look up the stats online - there are a few studies out there and they are impressive).  It's not foolproof, and it means being on antivirals daily for the indefinite future, but it is an option.  If you were in a new relationship this might be helpful until the stigma wore off and your partner was committed enough to not mind getting HSV from you.  But that would naturally be a very personal joint decision within the relationship.

 

 

[Nab727]

@herpes454 I truly appreciate this, you have no idea ! We both have an appointment coming soon, it's just a lot to take in. 

[Blahdittilyblah]

You can be contagious at any given time you never really know. Out breaks are are definitive way to know our contagious but you could have now signs no symptoms and be contagious it's called asymptomatic shedding as mentioned above. I want to be very clear you can be contagious without any physical symptoms doesn't mean your constantly are or daily contagious you just never know which is what really dicks about this virus. Find out if your HSV 1 or 2 so you can better educate yourself on this virus best of luck. 

[Nab727]

@Blahdittilyblah I appreciate it so much!