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Going to tell a partner tomorrow


SoCe

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So a blood test Wednesday confirmed that I have type two herpes. I actually just want to die tbh, I stayed at my friends since the diagnosis and acted like nothing was wrong and haven't told her. I told my one friend who has genital warts so she understands where I am coming from. However I recently started seeing an ex again and going to tell him tomorow what I have. He told me before that he would still be with me regardless of what I have but I feel like I just feel like he said that hypothetically. I'm afraid to tell him as I feel he would tell people and if we broke up he would definitely spread it and I think I would have to kill myself if people found out. I'm trying to smile but I just feel like I'm diseased, I know who gave it me and I want to message him and be horrible to him and tell him how much I wish I had never met him. I am so angry at myself for it. I have a child I should of known better and now I have an incurable STD. Sorry for the downer but I cannot see a way to live with this 

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Hello @SoCe Sorry about your diagnosis. We all have felt the way you do right now. For most H is only an occasional annoyance nothing to kill yourself over and besides that your daughter needs you. You dont have to tell anyone but the people you are going to be intimate with. You should think twice about being with someone who would be so mean as to spread your personal health info to others if it doesn't work out. Most times the ex needs to stay the ex becauze there was a reason he is the ex. Sometimes bad things can happen to good people. Dont think that you deserved it or that you are the virus.

One thing that you will find out is that if someone wants to be with you even though you have H then you will know they really love you for you and they are not going to let something like that get in the way.

So take it slow and don't worry. Keep it to yourself and get support here to help you learn to deal with it. One day it wont be big issue for you. If they develop the Theravax in the next year or so it may not be an issue at all.

So hang in there and be good to yourself!

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2 hours ago, SoCe said:

So a blood test Wednesday confirmed that I have type two herpes. I actually just want to die tbh, I stayed at my friends since the diagnosis and acted like nothing was wrong and haven't told her. I told my one friend who has genital warts so she understands where I am coming from. However I recently started seeing an ex again and going to tell him tomorow what I have. He told me before that he would still be with me regardless of what I have but I feel like I just feel like he said that hypothetically. I'm afraid to tell him as I feel he would tell people and if we broke up he would definitely spread it and I think I would have to kill myself if people found out. I'm trying to smile but I just feel like I'm diseased, I know who gave it me and I want to message him and be horrible to him and tell him how much I wish I had never met him. I am so angry at myself for it. I have a child I should of known better and now I have an incurable STD. Sorry for the downer but I cannot see a way to live with this 

Hi SoCe you sound just like I did 10 months ago. I was told by my dr over the phone while I was with a new bf and I had to lie to him, I said dr called to tell me mamo was fine... I wanted to jump off a bridge right then and there. I too had a friend who had herpes for 40 years I called her immediately she will keep my secret I ended up telling my 3 sisters, I think 2 will defintely not say anything to anyone, though one probaly told her husband.  I finally told the new bf and he is ok with it, I asked him to get tested and he did, turns out he has HSV1 on mouth he had cold sores as a child his #s are low... Do not beat yourself up. So hang in there keep sharing and I guarantee you will feel better.

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SoCe-  I would tell as few people as possible.  I was informed that one of my coworkers has hsv2 by another coworker.  I have never told anyone else.  Pisses me off, frankly.  My personality type says I can't keep secrets.  Surprise.  Not all personality type attributes are accurate.(although I do share lots of stuff!)  I keep secrets pretty well.

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Well I told him because he wanted to be intimate with me and he was upset but said he wanted to research it and I just told him to be with someone else and not to bother risking getting it. He said he didn't care at first but when I told him not to bother risking it he agreed. So it's over and tbh I just don't see the point in living anymore I'm sorry I just can't see how you can see anything positive in this at all. I hate the idiot that gave it me, he was misdiagnosed by a doctor. I wish I had never met him and feel that everyone is going to know about me I just can't see a way to get through this tbh. Thanks for your support but for me this isn't something small or something I can get over . No one has even explained it to me, I didn't even have a leaflet or nothing. The doctor told me she has hsV1 and that I don't have to disclose to anyone and that I should lead a normal life. Obviously I wouldn't do that,  but I can't be arsed anymore

Edited by SoCe
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The doctor is not being fair.  I have hsv1 and I disclose.  How do I know what hsv1 will do to a potential mate?  I was very ignorant before.  My kids know.  We dont share glasses or straws.  I kiss em on the head.  They will likely get hsv1 later but why expose em, now?

Disclosure is vital.  And fair.  

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I wont minimize it.  I wont say it is nothing.  What are you going to do, though?  Quit living????  I wouldnt.  I dont.  If I get it, I wont.  Like when my dad told me he was going to kill himself.  I knew it was the truth.  I literally broke down right then.  Then I lied and told him I would quit my job and do nothing.  He knew I was lying.  He said:  you wont do that.  I knew as I was saying it that it was a lie.  I dont stop.  I never give up.  I mean, when my body fails, of course I will physically...  But I already know.  Even if it is extremely painful, my family wont see it on my face when I go.

Edited by Disc0rdant
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