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bluendown contract HSV-2 from Female Performing Oral Sex

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I am new and just was confirmed yesterday by blood testing that I have Herpes 2. I was diagnosed via visual last Thursday and my world was crushed. I am a lady with morals and have been dating the same man for 10months and less then 3 months ago did the STD full testing including herpes testing and didn't have anything.

Then 3 months ago my man and I had a 3some which included another female. I went to pick her up and on the way to my mans house after the fact of our encounter I recalled her talking about having to go to the dentist to have a tooth remove because she often gets bumps in her mouth and that tooth was irritating one particular bump again not knowing about herpes and I suggested she go see my dentist.

We did our thing and she performed oral sex on both me and my man and he used a condom on her and didn't on me. Everything was gravy until last Thursday I went to the doctor due to 2 small irritating bumps that itched and tingled like crazy and I was feeling feverish and felt like I was about to have a yeast infection so not knowing a thing about herpes that never entered my mind because I am well in tune with my body I knew something was wrong.

Now on my last encounter with my man which was that prior Sunday before I went to the doctor on Thursday I made it his day and I performed oral sex on him and he wanted to please me as well but because I was not quit feeling right I told him it was all about him and oral sex is his favorite so everything worked out fine.

Now back to Thursday at the doctors office I was examined inside nothing was there and outside vaginally and the 2 bumps were identified as herpes. I was not in pain just irritated as hell. After receiving the bad news the doctor sent me down the hall for blood testing and sent me out the door with prescriptions for Valtrax. I was so torn, frighten and confused. So I immediately called my man at work and cried, cried and cried and he begged me to tell him after about 15 minutes I finally told him and he told me to leave work and meet him at his house. I could leave immediately and I had to tighten up because I had a meeting to attend. After my meeting I left early and headed to his house we talked he was frighten and immediately apologized and stated if he gave it to me (because he knew I was tested for everything including herpes 5 months ago and I was cleared) that he did know he had it. The one good thing I never and we never blamed each other.

Well I have HSV-2 and he has nothing! How in the hell did this happen?

Well my doctor stated that (1) I contracted it from the female and the bumps in her mouth were HSV-1 and that is probably why I had a very mild outbreak and he didn't get it because his immune system may be stronger then my and also because he is not circumcised.

Now I don't know if I am going to have a man or not! He is currently out of town on a business trip and he called yesterday to let me know he didn't have it and he is happy but not happy! Know that I know that only one of us has it I went on the defensive and told him if he did not want to be with me anymore I understood...By the way he did mentioned that his Dr. told him that he needed to be retested again in 6 weeks!

I am so bummed out because this man is my world and I am so afraid of loosing him to this. I wanted so bad to say because I was trying to please you in having two women at the same time I ended up with the raw end of the deal! This is crazy gang I contracted HSV-2 from a female that shit even sounds crazy!

Do you think he will stay with me and can you give me some facts or preventive measures for me to give him to think about! I know if he cares for me as much as he says he does we will be able to work this out! He stated that he is very worried about me and he was very quiet and ended the conversation by saying we will talk again...I don't think he is going to want to live with wondering if he will contract HSV by continuing to date me! What are your thoughts and sorry so long?


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there are some things that are just not adding up in your post. I am sorry you are going through this but there are some key points you need to be aware of

1. If you were diagnosed with TYPE2 genital herpes, and the woman who performed oral sex on you had TYPE1, then you DID NOT get it from her. Herpes strains do not change or morph into other types........type 1 transmits type 1 to people and type 2 transmits type 2.....there is no change in type and one type cant give you another type

2. If your man tested negative at first, make sure he is retested in a few weeks, as he may have already gotten it from you (or her) and his antibodies in the blood just havent shown up yet. Also, you need to have that lady tested to find out what type, if any, she has......she may not even have herpes......either way, she might now after that encounter and has a right to know.

3. You could have had this virus for a while and could have gotten it prior to being with your man, or soon before you had the full std testing ( within a few months or even weeks prior to the testing a while back because antibodies can take a while to show up for some people..........as long as 8 months in some cases(referring to a case on here) so it is a possibility you had it before and it just didnt show up in the blood work when you were previosly tested. Do you have record that they did in fact test you via blood for herpes a few months ago....often people are shocked to find they didnt test via blood for it, in which case it makes it irrelevant. Also, often people have mild symptoms or just think they are having a yeast infection, when it fact it was actually herpes symptoms randomly.......yeast infections are one of the most commonly misdiagnosed symptoms when women have herpes because some outbreaks are exactly like yeast infections and can go away in about the time it would seem a yeast medication takes to work so they never have a reason to suspect any different...

also, sometimes the virus isnt active but is in the body and people just dont know it yet and things like stress and friction cause it to activate....so having sex often or any sort of irritation down there could have irritate it and finally caused your virus to activate.

4. Another scenario........is that the woman you had a 3 some with did not have oral herpes and had genital herpes..........and that is how you got it transmitted to you (which would mean your boyfriend has it too now) condoms DO NOT protect you against HSV most of the time because herpes can shed in areas not covered by a condom, especially on women due to our anatomy. Or it is possible she had oral herpes type 2, but in order for you or your husband to have got anything from this woman she needs to first test positive for herpes via blood and second, she needs to have the SAME type as you do. Otherwise, you didnt get it from her.

5. Herpes is such a mystery disease so much of the time because of the variety of things that are symptoms and often mistaken for other things and the timing of when people get their first outbreaks,...some a few weeks after and some not for years after they have contracted it and results for blood tests can be incorrect sometimes based on if you have had an outbreak or not yet and perhaps maybe that is why your showed up negative when first tested because you hadnt had an outbreak yet. So many possibilites.

6. There is also a chance your man was recently with someone else and got herpes, transmitted it to you(and possibly this other woman from the 3some) and his antibodies just havent shown up.........timing can be so confusing with HSV because nothing is certain and there is no standard window of time for antibodies to show up or symptoms for that matter in a lot of cases.

Just have him get retested in 6 weeks and then again a few weeks after that if still negative. USually if you test negative at first and then positive shortly after, they say it is indicative of a newer infection. Also, have the women tested because that will be a big part of the mystery.......especially if she is negative (at first and or after retesting in 6 weeks as well) and take it from there....we are here for you no matter what.

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Thank you for the information Boxofrain- So first and foremost I have to find out if I am 1 or 2. I don't know I just assumed that GH was automatically 2!

I made it a common practice since 1988 to have full testing including herpes once a year, sadly admitting that I didn't know much about HSV. And never came up with herpes until now. I will say my outbreak was very, very mild and I just had two very small bumps but they were very irratating as hell. And I never had sex with my partner before they were exposed. I had oral sex with him prior to the bumps appearing.

His doctor told him to retest in 6 weeks and he is planning on doing that.

Now when I took the Valtrax the bumps where gone for sure in two days. And I felt normal or should I say feel normal. All uncomfortable feelings are gone.

You know how it is trying to figure out when a person does not have it and one does where did it come from. I am aware that hsv is a sleeper and he does not have it so far. Now my question is should I just move on from him? Please don't get me wrong he is very supportive and trying to be there for me I just don't want to be a subject to spreading it to anyone! I am very afraid to the point of not having sex. I would not wish this on my worst enemy!

Anyway that you look at it, HSV is not a life threatening decease, but man it is a powerful head game decease that could drive you to go crazy! :rolleyes:

Again thank you for your time and effort in informing and guiding me! ;)


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