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Confused and upset


Sundevil96

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I am losing my mind with my recent diagnosis. The person that gave this to me refuses to show me her "so called" negative test! She went off on me and said she is going to file a harassment charge and see me in court with her doctor to testify against me! So stupid.  She gave me this! nothing I can do now. I am screwed for the rest of my life. How can I best cope?

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Sorry to hear you are struggling. A herpes diagnosis can be pretty shitty at first, especially if there is drama involved. The good news is, most people tend to freak out at first and then later it turns out herpes is not a big deal for them. Personally, when I was first diagnosed, I found the chat here really helpful. I saw that you stopped in there when it was empty, hopefully you'll try again sometime when people are around!

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I can totally feel your reason of upset and pain. The woman who gave it to me said, its my fault i had symptoms coz she is asymptomatic , never had any symptoms ever. her blood test showed positive,but negative symptoms. but mine blood came negative but symptoms positive. well now there's nothing we can do. with time you will feel better. It affects differently to different people. So i just hope and stay positive i would be the lucky ones who had one OB and never had other.... and hope within 1-2 years some cure will be ahead... till then chill and relax.. whats done is done, and everything happens for good... at least we didn't got HIV i'm just thankful for that.... lol... 

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It sucks hey. The person that gave it to me is saying he can't have because he's never had symptoms, I let him cool down and now he's acting like he's not affected really even if he does have it. 

I feel like I'll never be able to have sex again. 

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exactly the same thing happened to me actually...the woman blamed in instead..dyamn..I was really angryI told her friends n family(I know thats bad,i partly feel guilty about doing it) but at least i deserved a sorry . Luckily I had the test reports her was positive mine negative. At least i made her shut up,and advised don't ruin others life..

 

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It won't change anything for you whether she shows you the proof you want or not. I think you are just angry and you want someone to blame. And that is something I think we have all gone through. But it makes no difference who you got this from. That information won't help you or her and won't change the course of the virus or your treatment. I know you are angry, but try to refocus your energy on something positive like getting well and going forward. 

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You are right.  I do realize this.  I am just having an extremely hard time going from no health issues to this.  I am already on my second outbreak in 1 month.  I feel more depressed than I ever have and I feel my life is over.  I have already lost a lot of my fitness and weight.  I don't know how to get myself out of this deep depression.  Will it honestly get better? Or will I always be on valtrex

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Hi Sundevil96,

I understand how you feel.  But, what DocP wrote is something to seriously take in and appreciate.  It seems like right now, you feel helpless.  They say that building up your immune system can help.  Do you take a multivitamin and maybe something extra for your immunity?

You mentioned that you've lost a lot your fitness and weight?  Do you mean you haven't been working out/weightlifting?  Can you still do some (mostly upper body)?  I was just diagnosed this week.  I was told I could not engage in the workout activities during an outbreak.  I was deeply saddened by this, because working out/exercise/outdoor activities is what helps me mentally and emotionally.  If that's the same for you, then I understand your frustration.

I know you feel powerless over this situation.  But, you do have power.  The thing is, you may just be seeking to regain your power from a situation/person that cannot give it to you.  The person who "gave" this to you is not reacting in the most mature and healthy way.  Forgive her.  And, forgive yourself.  

Take some time to reflect on your situation in a way that chooses forgiveness, compassion, and understanding.  Both for you and the other person.  I believe there is a lesson for all of us in whatever struggles we experience.  It's a matter of giving it the space to reveal itself. 

You have to believe it will get better.  Otherwise, the negative thoughts are only going to torture yourself.  Maybe you're "punishing" yourself with your thoughts.  I know how that is too well.  As you can see from this forum, there are many people who understand what you are feeling and going through.  They have turned a pretty s***** situation into something that is far better than they ever thought they could. It will get better. 

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ANewSelf,

Thanks for the words of encouragement.  It does help me.  I guess this is something that will be ok in the long run I'm hoping.  I feel terrible mentally, as you all can empathize totally.  Thanks again. 

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7 hours ago, Sundevil96 said:

ANewSelf,

Thanks for the words of encouragement.  It does help me.  I guess this is something that will be ok in the long run I'm hoping.  I feel terrible mentally, as you all can empathize totally.  Thanks again. 

Keep posting and reading the other threads.  I think this forum is such a blessing.  It has helped me put things in perspective and not feel so alone. 

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