Caught the lying twat who gave it me out!

[SoCe]

So I caught genital herpes from a guy I was sleeping with. The third time we slept together we went to bed late and woke up four hours later as he had work, he said he had a cut on his penis and that he had had it before and it healed after a week and was making jokes about I had broke his penis. He said it was a friction cut from vigorous sex, I wasn't worried but was skeptic all. Two days later I woke up with a banging head ache and was exhausted. The exhaustion lasted four days, then I felt uncomfortable in my vagina and four days later an ulcer showed up. I googled and it told me genital herpes. Told said guy to eat checked out. He blamed me but I blamed him. At first I was okay but after the diagnosis I was horrible to him because I was certain I had caught it from him. It was too coincidental. He then told me that he had never had a cut down there before apart from when he cut his banjo before (not with me) from rough sex. But I repeated what he told me after we had sex. Then suddenly it changed to him having a cut after he first time we had sex. But the first time we had sex I went round again the next day and stayed over and we had sex again? So I said surely if you had a cut you would of been unable to have sex with me? Then it turn d into he couldn't remember the exact days we slept together be after the second time we had sex he had an outbreak. After the second time we had sex I stopped seeing him for a week or two because he was being a bit full on when I told him I didn't want any sort of relationship to begin with. So after This short break we resumed said relationship, that's when he had a cut on his penis. I'm confused because if he had an outbreak during the break away from each other surely he would of gone to the doctor or gum clinic and not had sex with me to get it checked out? Apparently he did and doctor said it was just a friction cut. It doesn't make sense.  I said you would of been ill leading up to it and suddenly he had been ill recently but thought it was stress related due to work promotion?  I said funny that we used to talk every day wouldn't you of mentioned feeling ill? Then comes to good point, I was pissed ffs no said that he had been careless and felt that he had purposely infected me and  apparently he wouldn't of done that because he loved me? How can you fall in love with one one you have met three times? What a fucking liar I unblocked him to call him out on his lies and he didn't like it telling me to just block him and that we should be supporting each other?  I had to block him before I said something spiteful then he texted me saying just wow! Like get a grip I told him to leave me alone and called him a creep. I am so angry with him for not being more in tune with his body but even more angry with myself because if I hadn't of slept with him that day I wouldn't of got herpes. In fact if I hadn't of slept with him at all I wouldn't of got this. I am struggling everyday with suicidal thoughts, sometimes I'm okay with it then the next moment I'm not okay with it. Doesn't help that the gum clinic gave me my diagnosis and then said to me that it's not a big deal then dismissed me!  I had taken a five day course of aclycor or what ever it is called and it treated the ulcer but I have had to find out the research for myself . Not even a leaflet or anything! I hate myself so much

 

 

 

[luvurself16]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Some guys can be such jerks. Save your text messages. Are there any laws against spreading STDs when you know you have it where you live? If so pursue a criminal case.

[SoCe]

I don't think so because it's not considered to be life threatening such as HIV. I feel so stupid and angry he has ruined my life, I wish there was something I could do to hurt him 

[ravana]

so sorry to hear about your story. We all here can feel you , our pain is the same. Well ,done is done there's nothing we can do. I caught this by over trusting a woman, who told she just had been with one person in a long term relationship, after  taking with her ex found out that, he actually dumped her because she cheated on him. Well i was stupid enough to trust her and not to wear a condom. anyways done is done, Chill and relax, everything happens for good i guess. We are saved from having HIV, might be this is the lesson to be careful before doing anything. Just remember those who have one STD might have much more and we just got Herpes ( a skin condition, Just at an inappropriate place):P 

[luvurself16]

1 hour ago, SoCe said:

I don't think so because it's not considered to be life threatening such as HIV. I feel so stupid and angry he has ruined my life, I wish there was something I could do to hurt him 

Its a misdemeanor where I live. HIV is a felony. 

[SoCe]

Yeah that's what I mean HIV can be a life threatening illness whereas herpes isn't. 

[SoCe]

Thank you for your reply Ravana, I am still coming to terms with it but feel angry for being lied to. As if he was truthful to me I probably wouldn't of caught it  And that's what's going to get to me for the rest of my life. 

[phil UK 1972]

2 hours ago, ravana said:

so sorry to hear about your story. We all here can feel you , our pain is the same. Well ,done is done there's nothing we can do. I caught this by over trusting a woman, who told she just had been with one person in a long term relationship, after  taking with her ex found out that, he actually dumped her because she cheated on him. Well i was stupid enough to trust her and not to wear a condom. anyways done is done, Chill and relax, everything happens for good i guess. We are saved from having HIV, might be this is the lesson to be careful before doing anything. Just remember those who have one STD might have much more and we just got Herpes ( a skin condition, Just at an inappropriate place):P 

very well said.........

[luvurself16]

On January 9, 2017 at 9:19 AM, ravana said:

so sorry to hear about your story. We all here can feel you , our pain is the same. Well ,done is done there's nothing we can do. I caught this by over trusting a woman, who told she just had been with one person in a long term relationship, after  taking with her ex found out that, he actually dumped her because she cheated on him. Well i was stupid enough to trust her and not to wear a condom. anyways done is done, Chill and relax, everything happens for good i guess. We are saved from having HIV, might be this is the lesson to be careful before doing anything. Just remember those who have one STD might have much more and we just got Herpes ( a skin condition, Just at an inappropriate place):P 

Herpes is not "just a skin disease." IMO but yes ... it could've been worse. Also, theres still a possibility of catching herpes if a condom is used. 

[ravana]

54 minutes ago, luvurself16 said:

Herpes is not "just a skin disease." IMO but yes ... it could've been worse. Also, theres still a possibility of catching herpes if a condom is used. 

Well honeslty, I had 3 OB's within 2 months of time, after my first diagnosis. I was totally devastated by the diagnosis, but i questioned myself. Except the sore OB's what else does it do personally? Nothing. (let's not talk about neonatal hereps and rare encephalitis ) . Imagine yourself, it isn't even included in regular STD check up's, even non of the countries screen for this before granting visa(work or student). If it was more than just a skin disease lots of people would have better knowledge about it. I'm sure 95% of people here just came to know details about hereps ,is after the diagnosis. But most of us had previous better knowledge about HIV,Syphilis, Gonorrohea and others few STD's.  Even myself, assuming i am sexually active  whenever i used to get tested for std's i myself never did tested for herpes. Assuming If the OB's actually , for lets say appears in "arms, or legs " except but not in genital would you guys be worried as you are now? Or lets say is not named STD, just name as a transmitted disease would people be worried about it?. Well some would,People even worry of flu, and worry makes nothing but worse. I sometimes feel having cold and cough every season is more worse than having it. I know subconsciously its affecting my thoughts and  psychology, now i'm getting obsessed with this forum, log in every time when i've nothing to do but still am trying to move on, Its been more than 2 months of my diagnosis.

And well about the condoms , it is said its just 98% safe in terms of pregnancy also, so nothing much to say about it. Misfortune can happen anytime. 

All i know now is chill, wait for the cure and be positive about life.... 

PS. I'm taking here is for majority of Herpes sufferer not the exceptions who has regualr OB's and neuropathic pain. On top of it 80% are obviously even not included coz the never show any symptoms at all....   

[luvurself16]

14 hours ago, ravana said:

Well honeslty, I had 3 OB's within 2 months of time, after my first diagnosis. I was totally devastated by the diagnosis, but i questioned myself. Except the sore OB's what else does it do personally? Nothing. (let's not talk about neonatal hereps and rare encephalitis ) . Imagine yourself, it isn't even included in regular STD check up's, even non of the countries screen for this before granting visa(work or student). If it was more than just a skin disease lots of people would have better knowledge about it. I'm sure 95% of people here just came to know details about hereps ,is after the diagnosis. But most of us had previous better knowledge about HIV,Syphilis, Gonorrohea and others few STD's.  Even myself, assuming i am sexually active  whenever i used to get tested for std's i myself never did tested for herpes. Assuming If the OB's actually , for lets say appears in "arms, or legs " except but not in genital would you guys be worried as you are now? Or lets say is not named STD, just name as a transmitted disease would people be worried about it?. Well some would,People even worry of flu, and worry makes nothing but worse. I sometimes feel having cold and cough every season is more worse than having it. I know subconsciously its affecting my thoughts and  psychology, now i'm getting obsessed with this forum, log in every time when i've nothing to do but still am trying to move on, Its been more than 2 months of my diagnosis.

And well about the condoms , it is said its just 98% safe in terms of pregnancy also, so nothing much to say about it. Misfortune can happen anytime. 

All i know now is chill, wait for the cure and be positive about life.... 

PS. I'm taking here is for majority of Herpes sufferer not the exceptions who has regualr OB's and neuropathic pain. On top of it 80% are obviously even not included coz the never show any symptoms at all....   

Where did you get all of your data? Please list. Also, since being infected with this some of my symptoms I suffer from are forgetfulness, fatigue and neuropathy. I am one of those people that have constant outbreaks. This virus has obviously screwed up my natural pH and flora because I also now suffer from BV. I'm glad for you its just a skin condition ... until it gets into my eye. Then it'll be a eye condition. Herpes is not psoriasis. 

[Lisajd]

53 minutes ago, luvurself16 said:

Where did you get all of your data? Please list. Also, since being infected with this some of my symptoms I suffer from are forgetfulness, fatigue and neuropathy. I am one of those people that have constant outbreaks. This virus has obviously screwed up my natural pH and flora because I also now suffer from BV. I'm glad for you its just a skin condition ... until it gets into my eye. Then it'll be a eye condition. Herpes is not psoriasis. 

If youare having cinstant obs your body is not suppressing the virus as well as others do ie those with no ons.  You need to look at diet and stress and hormones etc.  You on meds?

[SoCe]

I don't think it's just a skin condition, it affects sexual life, I don't even want to be touched by a man for fear he will get whitlows finger or whatever it's called. Afraid to have sex incase I give it him, but mainly don't see myself as a sexual being anymore. I feel so ugly and worthless and I am angry. Angry that people are not tested for this because the medical community don't think it's a big deal, it is a big deal and whoever said it won't affect sexual behaviour is an idiot. I was given this by someone I believed who knew and has created many lies ever since. I am angry and sad and I will have this horrible virus forever. There can be no cure it's a virus

[ravana]

http://justherpes.com/facts/genital-herpes-statistics-us-hsv2/

 @luvurself16  Actually i've researched quiet a few sites and also reviewed my books form med school(Harrison's principle of Internal medicine) . Just to show the data i found somewhere on internet. Well they don't have reference as well( they might me wrong). I'm just trying to be positive about everything. 

@SoCe I myself am also a sufferer ,and i'm not happy either i got this. Non of us here are. All those things you mentioned are your feelings (negative ones) even i get it sometimes . I did had sex after my first OB was healed and it didn't affected at all(I broke up after 1 month of diagnosis) . Negativity only ruins you, well i won't say much if you are getting OB's frequently (which is not common ) . Now done is done, no matter how hard you hate him or yourself its not gonna change anything. Now its up to you how do u handle the situation. And honestly u are not worthless, u;r the same person like you are before. U'r life span isn't decreased, and u ain't stopped to go anywhere in the world or do anything because  u have herpes (except if u wanna join army, they do test for herpes there). 

 

[SoCe]

I know Ravana, I just hate myself for becoming involved with someone who I believe purposely gave this to me as since I said what it might be he has suddenly had all the symptoms and continuously lied to me and I just can't get over that. 

[luvurself16]

19 hours ago, ravana said:

http://justherpes.com/facts/genital-herpes-statistics-us-hsv2/

 @luvurself16  Actually i've researched quiet a few sites and also reviewed my books form med school(Harrison's principle of Internal medicine) . Just to show the data i found somewhere on internet. Well they don't have reference as well( they might me wrong). I'm just trying to be positive about everything. 

@SoCe I myself am also a sufferer ,and i'm not happy either i got this. Non of us here are. All those things you mentioned are your feelings (negative ones) even i get it sometimes . I did had sex after my first OB was healed and it didn't affected at all(I broke up after 1 month of diagnosis) . Negativity only ruins you, well i won't say much if you are getting OB's frequently (which is not common ) . Now done is done, no matter how hard you hate him or yourself its not gonna change anything. Now its up to you how do u handle the situation. And honestly u are not worthless, u;r the same person like you are before. U'r life span isn't decreased, and u ain't stopped to go anywhere in the world or do anything because  u have herpes (except if u wanna join army, they do test for herpes there). 

 

I didn't see on the webpage you provided that "98% safe in terms of pregnancies" and that "95% of people" come to this website to know details on herpes but I did skim. Now you're a medical doctor? You look pretty young to be a medical doctor and congratulations for completing a task so young. I personally don't own a copy of Harrison's Principle of Internal Medicine book. Maybe when I start my clinicals I'll purchase a copy. However I have always been taught to look for credible sources such as .org websites. Its good that you are being optimistic about the future just remember to disclose to all of your potential sexual partners.

Edited January 13, 2017 by luvurself16

[luvurself16]

21 hours ago, Lisajd said:

If youare having cinstant obs your body is not suppressing the virus as well as others do ie those with no ons.  You need to look at diet and stress and hormones etc.  You on meds?

I have both type I and II. Everyone is different. Maybe I'll be one of the lucky few and develop herpetic encephalopathy or meningitis. The joys of this "skin condition." For now I'm not on any meds except supplements. I rather supplements over antivirals.

[ravana]

3 hours ago, luvurself16 said:

I didn't see on the webpage you provided that "98% safe in terms of pregnancies" and that "95% of people" come to this website to know details on herpes but I did skim. Now you're a medical doctor? You look pretty young to be a medical doctor and congratulations for completing a task so young. I personally don't own a copy of Harrison's Principle of Internal Medicine book. Maybe when I start my clinicals I'll purchase a copy. However I have always been taught to look for credible sources such as .org websites. Its good that you are being optimistic about the future just remember to disclose to all of your potential sexual partners.

http://www.factsaboutcondoms.com/pdf/Condom Effectiveness FAQ 2.4.13.pdf

You can see it here written Condoms are 98% effective in terms of pregnancy, The first paragraph has references. And about "95% of people who came to know details about hereps is after the diagnosis", actually thats my assumption, I was comparing how people are aware and educated of HIV or even Chlamydia and other few STD but not so much of herpes, as u can see even doctors do not recommend it for screening . (I may be wrong here, but even myself i just used to test for HIV, syph, Ghon n chlamydia before and most of doctors usually just do these ,at least at the asian parts). But thinking logically Herpes wouldn't have spread so much if people had knowledge about it they can be asymptomatic carrier.

Well about being doctor, In America it takes time but not in Asia coz we don't need the premeds, I am a final year in my residency (thats what we call here) ,due to complete  in June, but did finished my medschool( MBBS) 6 years back. Ps: i'm 31 already hahahha.. i don't think that's young .  

Thanks for the suggestion but as a good human being and a doctor i'd definitely disclose to all my potential sexual partners in future. Honestly i am as worried as you are but considering the fact we already have it we have no choice but not to think about it and move on. 

Lets wish some better medications will be on the way soon for those who have frequent OB's or a functional cure for all of us..... 

[luvurself16]

@ravana I'll be honest. I didn't bother to read your entire response but thank you for the response. I hope you have a good day.

[ravana]

7 hours ago, luvurself16 said:

@ravana I'll be honest. I didn't bother to read your entire response but thank you for the response. I hope you have a good day.

we'r on the same boat.. hope u've a good day as well.