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Loveme0505

Need advice?

7 posts in this topic

A couple months ago, I met a wonderful guy (or I should say I thought I did), we dated and then became sexually intimate.   I asked him if he was free of any STD's prior to having sex, he said yes. One thing led to another, and had Sex with no condom on the first time. So the next day I asked him if he could bring me test results stating that he was free of STD's. He said yes. A couple days later, he then sat down to talk to me and told me he had HSV2. He has an outbreak about 1 time a year. I freaked out and was furious for the fact that he lied to me.

A couple stressful weeks went by, I got tested and all my results were negative. I am still negative. Over those couple of weeks I was thinking long and hard of wether to stay with this guy or not since I had feelings for him. At the end I decided not to stay with him. I did not feel comfortable risking myself to HSV2. He all of a sudden became enraged, and starts to yell at me. He said I fooled and lied to him. I guess he fell in love with me and now that I decided to leave, he wants to point fingers at me for no reason? He said I caused him damage and I'm a bad person. He also said I would of never known anything about his HSV2 if he hadn't told me, that he should of never told me.  I feel he acted very immature about this as I have a right to know of his status and also have a right of staying or leaving him. But the blame is on me and depicting me as a horrible person. He carrys this pitty story that he is the victim and tells everyone.

I don't get it? Am I missing something here I don't see?

 

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No you're not missing anything here. Your reactions and actions are normal and typical. 

I am one person who does not believe that the presence (or absence!) of HSV is part of a thinking process surrounding relationships, but everyone is different and follows their own path.

His actions do seem off base. However, your course of action is to simply ignore and move on.

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Lack of honesty and not giving you the choice is wrong from my perspective.  He obviously is taking it out on you for his own mistake

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I think u made the right decision for you,he cant blame you for leaving,but he might have gotten attached to you. That may be yhe reason for his reaction,its very hard for someone to reveal that they have herpes to another that they have feelings for,he probally only told you with high hopes of you staying with him

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Thanks s for the replys. 

If i had not asked for STD test results, I think he would of not told me of his status. I guess he felt he had no choice but to tell me since it would show up on test results.

He told me that he doesn't tell all his partners about his status, just for this same reason....to avoid rejection.  That remark left me stunned. This situation has opened my eyes and has changed the way I date now. Everything happens for a reason and some are a learning experience.

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Yeah it has been an eye opener to us with the virus also ,we don't want to catch anything else 

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On 1/16/2017 at 8:20 AM, Loveme0505 said:

Thanks s for the replys. 

If i had not asked for STD test results, I think he would of not told me of his status. I guess he felt he had no choice but to tell me since it would show up on test results.

He told me that he doesn't tell all his partners about his status, just for this same reason....to avoid rejection.  That remark left me stunned. This situation has opened my eyes and has changed the way I date now. Everything happens for a reason and some are a learning experience.

Hey loveme0505 am just curious if u didn't catch ghsv from him,how did u find your way on HC forum?

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