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Painting to express my initial feelings

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more vibes

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For as crappy as I felt in the beginning playing/singing w my guitar, writing/journaling and occasionally writing poems helped me a lot.  Singing has been big sanity savior.   

Herpes sucks but the art is awesome! <3  Thanks for and please keep sharing! :)  

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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    • Nick t
      By Nick t

      I was on this forum about a few months ago when I thought I had herpes. After about half a year of going through hell, I still don't know what is going on with me. I will try to make it short as possible. I came on this forum after having intercourse with a girl then a day later I got an infection down there. (I am a male, 19 years old, at the time I was 18 when it happened and she was 16.) Long story short, I went to a dermatologist and he instantly told me it's herpes. Gave me the medicine etc, the usual.

      I confronted that girl and she said she doesn't have herpes. I kinda trusted her since we had a small thing going on.. it wasn't a one time thing. We had intercourse 2 times, first time the condom broke then second time didn't use a condom at all. (I know, that was stupid but heck.. I'm not special, lots of people do it and some have consequences from it others don't.) What I've had around my penis it definitely looked like herpes! Small red dots all over the tip, small itching, pain in left thigh, flu-like symptoms etc.

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      Now the symptoms.. oh boy. I've had all the symptoms you can imagine. I mean, all of them. Some of them might be due to stress(will explain later) some might be due to something I definitely have. (which personally I think it's HIV.)

      After about a month and a half, I started experiencing all these symptoms, not all at once but followed one after another. I've never had a strong fever and cold but I did have small fever, cold, sneezing a lot etc. One of my main symptoms is my stomach noises. When I had that first symptom, I started thinking about HIV. This whole post is about what I think, HIV. At this point I think I have HIV. I am here to seek your help and opinions and tell me what you guys think. Am I crazy or am I not?

      My story has lots of details and I'd be writting a book if I had to list them all here. But basically my last test was back in May, 84th day and I tested negative. (tested negative on everything else). However, I believe the girl had HIV and I have my reasons. I am aware that would be a crime if she didn't tell me so I'm hoping maybe she doesn't have ..but all the reasons I see , make me believe I do have it. 

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      Ever since I've been with that girl I had nothing but problems and I am going crazy. I kept telling myself I have HIV each time I had a test done. I've had like 4 HIV tests within a period of 3 months. All negative but the symptoms would get worse or have  A NEW symptom each time I thought about HIV or read about its symptoms. So I'd read about it online then within few days I'd have it happen to me. At this point I want to go get tested but I live in Washington State and I can't find anything for free. I still live with my parents and for me to pay 150$ at Planned Parenthood is too much, hell even 100$ is too much. I don't have a permanent job, I work from a computer and I do graphic design and sites and stuff like that. Freelancer I guess you can call me.

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