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Herpes Dating Web Site
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A number of people have been asking about the social media plan or are a bit confused about what to do, this post is here to explain it all. We want to start a movement.
Right now @SupermansJustice is tweeting out through @TheHopeisNear on Twitter. Our hope is that we get people to see them and for our voices to be heard.
What we want
· To tweet at people in the medical/science field/CDC/government/news sources.
· To tweet out that we want our voices heard and we want a change in testing at the CDC and better education on HSV
· To raise awareness that this affects more than just someone’s skin – it affects their life.
· To end the stigma.
· To establish relationships with the people already out there working on a cure.
We are hoping to have the CDC implement routine testing, this will help slow down the spread. For many of us, having HSV changes our sexual behaviour (although the CDC seems to not think so), you’re extra careful and you’re giving people the choice you may not have had by telling someone you have HSV.
If we have routine testing it ends the stigma as more people will realize they have it too - this increases research. With more people aware, more people will want a cure which will in turn pressure the FDA to finally approve something for us.
What you can do
· Sign up for an account on Twitter – you can make it anonymous. Change your privacy settings so you can’t be found through your email address or phone number.
· Follow all the people following @TheHopeIsNear and @Led401 and the people those accounts are following.
· Follow doctors / virologists etc – the more people you follow the more followers you get in return.
· Retweet/Like – yes, at the beginning you will have 0 followers but every single time you RT/Like the people tagged in those tweets will get a notification and see it.
· Start your own tweets asking for a change in testing at the CDC – tag your local MP/Senator/Secretary/Minister of Health
Stand up and fight – no one else is going to do it for us. We have to help ourselves. It’s already been proven that by tweeting out we can change minds, @SupermansJustice was able to do this to a specialist in infectious diseases the other day. We can make a difference.
Our objective for now is to raise awareness and fight for a change at the CDC, this will help the longer term goals. We will be putting together a petition for HSV awareness and research. The more people care – the more they are willing to donate and the more they are willing to spend. We can’t just blanket out tweets asking for money for something people don’t care about because they don’t think twice about it and have been told that Herpes is not a big deal by their doctor/the CDC or they’ve been told it’s gross by the amount of jokes they are hearing about it. As proven by the fundraising done for DRACO even people here don’t care that much as the $ raised from here was low, so how can we expect others to care and to donate for us – by educating them, by standing up for ourselves, by fighting for help!
We need to educate people, even some people with cold sores don’t even realize that they have herpes and that it can be spread genitally – by raising awareness in the hopes of better education we also get all those people now hoping for a cure and willing to donate.
Other ways you can help
· Write a letter to Bill and Melinda gates asking for funding for a cure.
· Write a letter to your Minister of Health asking for changes within the CDC.
· Write a letter to news sources – point them in our direction (HC or Twitter) have them see that there are plenty of people on here struggling and we are finally standing up for ourselves.
· Donate when / where you can when you see fundraising for a cure.
The reason we are asking you to do this under an anonymous account is because we know 99.9% of us are too afraid to use our real accounts (which is exactly why we need to raise awareness), just know that on Twitter numbers matter. It’s the amount of likes/retweets something gets that will be noticed in a person's/companies notifications/timeline – not the user who is doing so.
We all know what a blow this diagnosis is to our well-being, instead of wallowing become a warrior! Stand up and help spread awareness. If we all stand together we CAN make a difference.
This scene from A Bugs Life comes to mind: (cheesy, I know)
There is hope coming:
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Ever since my first ob my genital skin is really sensitive and thin.. every time I have sex my Perineum tears. No matter how much lubrication there is. I'm only 18 so my gyno won't give me anything to help build it up again. Does anyone have any advice on how to stop the skin sensitivity and go back to normal? It makes sex not even enjoyable
My names Rachel, I'm 22 and I was just diagnosed with HSV 1 roughly one month ago.
First let me start by saying that even though my title says Happily Herped, that doesn't mean I want to have herpes but I'm also not mind blowingly devastated that I do have them. If anything it was a huge chance to grow as a person and it really showed peoples true colors when I dropped the H bomb on them. So I guess I should start from the beginning so you can get a better idea of just why I'm not that upset.
About three weeks ago I went on this date with a guy I met on tinder, I know what you're thinking (no wonder she got herpes) but actually he was pretty charming we talked all night and I ended up sleeping with him. If at this point your thinking I'm kind of loose, you'd be wrong, cause funny thing I actually lost my virginity to him. After that first night I went over to seem him again a couple of days later and we really had a great time. The next day (Sunday) I was sore as all hell and super tired, i just chalked it up to the lack of sleep and my anemia. On Monday it was even worse, I got this huge headache (those are rare for me) and had like no energy at all, I knew something was wrong when I took a shower and got out winded like I'd ran 5 miles. This was when I'd discovered the bumps, they looked like tiny little white heads but they weren't that painful so thinking they were ingrown hairs I popped them. Later on down the line I discovered this was a huge mistake and was how I spread the virus on my first outbreak! By Tuesday I knew something was wrong, I was flipping out thinking I had an infection. I scheduled a doctors appointment and she eased my mind saying the bumps looked like a fungus, per my request she tested me for STD's but said she thought I was just over reacting. On Wednesday I was swollen, couldn't sleep, was walking slower then a turtle cause it hurt to move, and was still pretty tired like all the time! Since I couldn't sleep at all, it just gave me time to research on what the hell was going on down there! The options we're limited, either a wicked bad yeast infection or herpes, though I was trying to keep an open mind I think at this point I knew but didn't want to accept. On Thursday I was a wreck, It hurt to move, burned when I peed, I had these ugly looking blister/ boils what seemed like all over, i was super swollen, I hadn't really slept more then a couple of hours each night, and the stress and worrying made me forget to eat. I called a very good friend of mine crying, and I ended up spending the rest of my afternoon waiting with her to get seen by a doctor. It was at this point that I had to tell this guy I thought I had herpes and he'd given it to me, he was working but told me to keep him updated and let him know how it went.
I was embarrassed to say the least, here I am with this mess between my legs, feeling like a failure at life, and about to get seen by a male doctor on top of that which just seemed like the icing on the cake! I have to say that I will alway feel bad for this doctor, because I was so scared and worried and when he confirmed my suspicions I fell to pieces.I cried like I'd never before, I was so upset that it was hard for me to listen to the information he was giving me I was devastated. The words life long and herpes sounded terrible, in that moment I could only imagine that no man would ever want me after this and I would never be happy in a relationship. After I stopped crying he prescribed my medication, and told me I was going to be okay and that plenty of people with herpes live fairly normal lives. I'm actually more then grateful that I had the male doctor cause he was very understanding and kind. After I left the hospital it took me a minute to gather myself so I didn't just cry every time I thought about my herpes, and then I passed into what I'd say was probably shock/ relief. After this extremely long and emotional day, I had to tell my very best friend, him, and my mother.
This is where the blessings came, I was already super grateful that a friend of mine had come with me to the hospital. We had been there for hours, and she had just dropped all the stuff she was doing to go with me, she even let me cry on her when I found out. And when she dropped me off at my car, my best friend showed up not even a second later saying that she tried to find us at the hospital but couldn't so instead she started searching for my car so she could be there if i needed to talk. I had to start with I need to know that you'll still want to share a drink with me and not think I'm dirty, cause that was how I felt. She was overwhelmingly supportive and loving, gave me a hug and said that nothing in our friendship had changed in the slightest. After her I tackled him, I was pretty positive that he had it too and there was no one else I could of gotten it from. I honestly told him to get in the car, drove to a secluded area just so we could have this private and personal conversation (I'm sure he thought I was planning on killing him). I'm sure you can guess the gist of what was said, he apologized and swore he didn't know he had it said he'd understand if I didn't want to talk to him again. I was oddly not upset with him, maybe you think I should be but I could tell he didn't know and that this was just as a surprise to him as me. After a very long conversation he said he'd be there for me and would go to get tested tomorrow, but that he'd still like to see me. I went from this conversation to my mother who was the worst one to tell, only because parents always remind you of just how stupid you can be. I was honest with her and told her the horrid truth, I'd had unprotected sex with some random guy and found out I had herpes (yes it was unprotected sex, I was only worried about getting pregnant for the most part so i figured what are the chances.) The next day she had calmed down a bit and told me that she still loved me and was here for me (also mentioned that I was not so bright and shouldn't see him again).
The weeks following the day I found out were kinda filled with research and a heck of a lot of sweatpants. I was more then surprised to read stats on herpes, and find out that so many people had them, or that they didn't know they had them! My outbreak reached a new level of pain when the blisters popped? is that the word? I know they tell you to keep them dry so they can scab over, and they say to wear cotton underpants but let me just say OUCH!! They dried alright, to my underpants!! It felt like peeling off skin each time my cotton undies shifted ever so slightly it was a new world of pain. Then once the scabs formed it took another week and a half for them to go away along with the little pink spots they left behind. My outbreak is still ongoing, I can walk normally now though which I'm utterly grateful for!
I know you're thinking the story must be over but thats actually just the first half now heres the second, he got his test results back and nada! As it turned out I he didn't have herpes, it was just me. Apparently I had gotten herpes from one of the two guys I had been with before, and though I didn't have intercourse with them I had been a little cavalier with everything else. This lead to a whole new conversation, one that might actually scare you like it scared me. When I found out I had herpes I had the hardest time believing that someone could accept me and be in any kind of a relationship with this kind of risk. I felt like I couldn't possibly ask someone to take that kind of risk or even would want them to, I didn't want to be the one who passed it on to someone else. If it's at all possible he was actually even more accepting of this than before, he said it was okay and wasn't worried. Stated it matter of factly that as long as we weren't having sex when I had an outbreak then we were good! And when I was having one he would be there to make it better for me as much as he could. I can honestly say that if he hadn't been so supportive I don't think I would of handled this so well, and for that I'm super grateful.
In my herpes research I ran across a girl that did a little experiment where she was widely open and blatant about the fact that she had herpes. Stating that she was at a party where a guy handed her a drink and said "Try it, don't worry I don't have herpes." to which she responded "Thats funny, really funny. Cause I do." She then proceeded to talk about how most people when they heard she had herpes were genuinely curious more then anything else, and while she had some negative comments they were few compared to the rest. This prompted me to conquer that fear I had of telling someone, I decided in that moment to be honest with the people in my life. I chose to tell many of my friends that I had herpes, oddly enough with each person I told I felt more confident in my future. While I did get one reaction from a friend that had previously stated that he would sleep with me countless times, but then found out I had herpes and quickly said he was glad he didn't tap that. It was easily fixed when he called the next day to apologize and say that he was just surprised, that he'd never actually met someone with it who told him they had it. Other then that it was actually a breath of fresh air, I found out how amazingly supportive, open minded, and understanding my family and friends are. I made this post a month into me finding out I have herpes, and it's titled Happily Herped because it's not the end of the world. While it's not the greatest thing to have an STI it really did open m eyes to how much worse this could of been and to how amazingly lucky I am. I will admit that I used to have the idea that the only people that got STI's were the ones that were just running around town painting the town red so to speak. But after reading hundreds of different post I was amazed to read stories of people like me that found out they had herpes and didn't know. There's a whole on-line community thats devoted to being supportive and there for you. Then theres people in your life that are just as accepting, i never knew this until I got herpes and it opened my eyes to a whole new side of things. My first outbreak was horrible, and when I thought about telling someone down the road that I had herpes it terrified me. This is how I coped, with an amazing support system and by being honest about it.
So my boyfriend has oral HSV 1 and I have genital HSV 1. It's up in the air who had what first, because I showed initial symptoms first, but he's always had really bad skin.
Anyway, besides the point I suppose.
We had sex including oral this weekend Friday/Sunday. On Monday he had shaved his beard and I noticed he seemed to have a spot on his lip. Tuesday I broke out genitally. I am usually more attuned to my OBs than he is, so I avoid having sex with him if I think I am getting one.
TLDR; is it possible to cause your partner to have an outbreak if you both already have HSV1?
I always feel guilty, like I've caused him to break out again. But I thought I had read if you already have the virus, then you can't pass it on/get it again since it's already in your body. Or does it not matter, and it's just coincidental that we broke out around the same time?