Can he really sue me?

[Asue]

Okay so I've had herpes for 4 years and usually the only time I've slept with someone was in a relationship and they new about it first but recently I met this guy and we talked about taking it slow. He comes over and is being almost perfect and kinda pushes to have sex. So against my best judgment we hooked up. Now when we were getting started I was about to mention a condom when he ended up pulling one out of his wallet. Then it went dark. He took a minute to get into bed so of course I thought he had the condom on... well he didn't. I told him the truth about what I have and now he's threatening to sue me because I didn't tell him before hand. Yes I know I should of but I didn't. What do I do?

[WilsoInAus]

It is not illegal not to tell. In certain circumstances it may be possible to sue (civil action) but only if infection occurs. Very likely this did not happen.

The type is also important, do you have genital HSV-1 or HSV-2? 

[Asue]

I haven't had an outbreak in almost 2 years but he won't listen to me. 

[Asue]

I haven't had an outbreak in almost 2 years but he won't listen to me.  Genital herpes..

[WilsoInAus]

Yes but do you know if it is HSV-1 or HSV-2? 

Regardless he cannot sue unless he was infected by you and had evidence that he was negative previously; chance of success would be negligible and even then and he'd have to show intent and loss.

Edited March 5, 2017 by WilsoInAus

[Lisajd]

And you can actually say to him that as far as you were aware he was wearing a condom and he chose to take that off so he has put himself at risk of STDs anyway.  And he would have to prove that he did not have herpes before you met even if you did in fect him

[Asue]

I have the hsv-2 I believe. He's freaking out on me and now threatening that he will be getting a lawyer. I feel like if he even tries to file it will come up if you google search my name? Will everyone find out? How am I supposed to live with the world knowing something so personal. I'm so scared.

[LilyMae]

Sorry you're going through this. The truth is he probably put you at more risk with that disgusting condom fake out than you by not telling him. I always disclose but I know some guys come on so strong it can be hard in the moment. 

This guy sounds like a total jerk (insert stronger word here...). I'm not a gambler but I bet the chances of him having extremely recent paperwork proof that he is hsv negative are just about zero. Even if you go into a clinic and request a complete sti panel, hsv is not included in that. You have to specifically ask for the hsv blood work you want done. Almost no one who doesn't already know they have hsv knows this. 

And, especially since you haven't had an outbreak in two years, the odds of you having given hsv to him are REALLY REALLY small. I think seeing a lawyer will be a reality check for him and he'll drop it. It won't just be your name in the public muck. He'll have to admit he's the kind of selfish, deceitful creep who leads a partner to believe he's got a condom on when he doesn't and who now also has hsv. (Which he almost certainly did not get from you). The condom thing is gross on so many levels. 

Hoping everything works out soon for you.

[VVK]

2 hours ago, Asue said:

I have the hsv-2 I believe. He's freaking out on me and now threatening that he will be getting a lawyer. I feel like if he even tries to file it will come up if you google search my name? Will everyone find out? How am I supposed to live with the world knowing something so personal. I'm so scared.

The truth is nobody really cares unless you are rich and have a lot of money. Don't worry about it. He has no chance.. if I were you I would be more concerned about what STDs he may have passed on to you without your knowing.

[hitkid]

I'm pretty sure he lied to you about having a condom on and that's illegal. No matter what you're fine.

[LilyMae]

3 hours ago, VVK said:

The truth is nobody really cares unless you are rich and have a lot of money. Don't worry about it. He has no chance.. if I were you I would be more concerned about what STDs he may have passed on to you without your knowing.

Yes. This might be a good time for some retesting of your own.

[VVK]

Exactly, and this:

8 hours ago, hitkid said:

I'm pretty sure he lied to you about having a condom on and that's illegal. No matter what you're fine.

Basically when you were okay with having sex with him if he was wearing a condom and then he decided he would have sex with you without a condom on, without your knowing about it, that's called sexual assault.

[cantdoit]

14 hours ago, Asue said:

Okay so I've had herpes for 4 years and usually the only time I've slept with someone was in a relationship and they new about it first but recently I met this guy and we talked about taking it slow. He comes over and is being almost perfect and kinda pushes to have sex. So against my best judgment we hooked up. Now when we were getting started I was about to mention a condom when he ended up pulling one out of his wallet. Then it went dark. He took a minute to get into bed so of course I thought he had the condom on... well he didn't. I told him the truth about what I have and now he's threatening to sue me because I didn't tell him before hand. Yes I know I should of but I didn't. What do I do?

He would have to have caught it to sue you. If he's been infected he could sue you. But there is the issue he was deceitful about the condom. He probably wouldn't win. I am looking into suing my giver. 

[luvurself16]

Depending on the laws of your state he could also press charges. Someone doesn't have to be physically injured to sue. He can sue for emotional distress, etc. But don't worry about it.

[valleynovascotia]

This sounds like how i caught the herp and hpv except i didn't take out condom and pretend to use  it thats just creepy. Girl didn't didnt tell me she had both and she knew. Stupid thing is if i wasn't so drunk i wouldn't of ever had  unprotected sex with her. She had given it to others before and showed no remorse. i guess u thought he was using a condom so u thought he was safe but u should always disclose cause this is for life and never goes away but it sounds like the guy is a creep anyhow if he pretended to use a condom and didn't.

[Kittyleah]

If you have a breakout or a pre breakout (the tingly feeling itchy maybe when your about to breakout) then you need to tell so that the person has a choice to decide for themself if they want to have unprotected sex.  Its not a good idea if you let them but if you show them a breakout spot and tell them then its not all your fault. Everyone makes mistakes but its more your fault if you don't at least say "hey I got this little breakout now"...or something. 

[herpes454]

I'd be really impressed if some lawyer was able to win a court case like this, it's almost comical.  Frankly I'd turn it around and tell him you'd countersue for the condom fakeout...Just for lolz.   

[Lisajd]

4 hours ago, Kittyleah said:

If you have a breakout or a pre breakout (the tingly feeling itchy maybe when your about to breakout) then you need to tell so that the person has a choice to decide for themself if they want to have unprotected sex.  Its not a good idea if you let them but if you show them a breakout spot and tell them then its not all your fault. Everyone makes mistakes but its more your fault if you don't at least say "hey I got this little breakout now"...or something. 

You should disclose regardless.  Why would you show someone a blister. You would not have sex at that time

[Kittyleah]

3 hours ago, Lisajd said:

You should disclose regardless.  Why would you show someone a blister. You would not have sex at that time

Showing and telling is "disclosing" ...and it was not a blister.  Its different for everyone. I did "disclose"

[Kittyleah]

I explained within the paragraph that I told the person and showed him 

[Kittyleah]

On 3/7/2017 at 5:09 PM, valleynovascotia said:

This sounds like how i caught the herp and hpv except i didn't take out condom and pretend to use  it thats just creepy. Girl didn't didnt tell me she had both and she knew. Stupid thing is if i wasn't so drunk i wouldn't of ever had  unprotected sex with her. She had given it to others before and showed no remorse. i guess u thought he was using a condom so u thought he was safe but u should always disclose cause this is for life and never goes away but it sounds like the guy is a creep anyhow if he pretended to use a condom and didn't.

Why would someone pretend to use a condom and then not use one ? What the h

 

On 3/5/2017 at 8:36 AM, cantdoit said:

He would have to have caught it to sue you. If he's been infected he could sue you. But there is the issue he was deceitful about the condom. He probably wouldn't win. I am looking into suing my giver. 

Unless he proves he didn't already have it then he can't sue you.

On 3/5/2017 at 8:36 AM, cantdoit said:

He would have to have caught it to sue you. If he's been infected he could sue you. But there is the issue he was deceitful about the condom. He probably wouldn't win. I am looking into suing my giver. 

Yeah sue if you can