Everyone knows I have herpes

[Lightbright]

I'll try to sum this up and I hope you can follow along. Im 22 and I found out I have genital HSV1 six weeks ago and unfortunately my first outbreak was spread to a partner who is on his way to be a singer and is well known, so to say the least he hates me and blocked me on all social media because his "label" believes im a threat to his image. I also found out he was using me to cheat on his girlfriend (who I was told was his ex)..he played a great game of the awful clingy ex and the guy who is bettering himself..look what happened..Anyways, I had to inform 4 other partners (yes, I had a lot of sex). 2 of the disclosures weren't my choice..let's call them guy A and B. Guy A touched me without consent (oral sex) when I was dunk, I freaked out immediately and I had to tell him. Guy B, I was with way before I got diagnosed, but my girl "friend" (who I told my Dx about in confidence) got mad at me when I told her that guy A touched me and said I was a foul person and then messaged A and B to protect them caus I was "spreading an STD on purpose". Neither of them are mad and respect me. She's also mad that the singer was her best friend and blames me because stopped talking to her for remaining my "friend". Thankfully I spoke to both of them before she did and guy B is confirmed to be "healthy with high blood pressure" lol and A is patiently waiting.  So that's 5 partners total who were informed ...which was hard enough,  although no one is mad except for the singer. But anyways, this girl has told other people as well and I keep hearing that someone else knows. My other girl friend said her babies father called her and said "I heard ____ is burning". Him and his group of friend hate me for unrelated childish reasons and they are using this info to tell everyone out of spite. Idk how I can cope with this when everone around me knows me as the girl that's "burning". I still have great friends though and most if not alll the people talking are going nowhere in life (and that's not angry talk it's very true, my city sucks). Even though I removed myself from the immature and angry people it's still hurtful to know my names is being dragged through the dirt. I'm not even sure I'm asking for advice, I just need to vent and maybe find someone on here who was had their diagnosis broadcasted to the world and how they managed it.

[LillianPanos]

Ok glad you were able to vent! Know it is very rare to transmit hsv1 genitals... it prefers the mouth.  hsv1 on miuth can infect genitals....hsva 1 from mouth to mouth extremely common.  Dont think you transmitted hsv1 genitals to others genitals.  Have u been tested? 

 

[t361]

I had a similar situation...

I dated a particularly vindictive individual and when I broke up with her, even though I had been honest and safe and hadn't passed it on, she contacted everyone on my social media and told them I had herpes. So, I kind of know how you feel.

All I can say is, take the high road and don't engage these people... they feed on that. Keep quiet and they'll get bored. That's a lot easier said than done though... it's hard not standing up for yourself.

Anyways, if you want to chat about it drop me a line. 

[AngelicHeart]

This is why I'm scared of disclosing. The black community is very childish and unaccepting. 

[WilsoInAus]

I remember there was an AA lady who told her partner about her HSV-2; I can't recall whether he had passed it to her or not. Evidently he said words to the effect of "Huh, HSV-2, that's a white man's disease."

At first I though he was bit uninformed given that nearly half of AA women and 1/3 of AA men have HSV-2. However, now I wonder if he was being prophetic. For the most part, HSV is only a disease if you make it one.

[Disc0rdant]

On 3/4/2017 at 8:51 PM, Lightbright said:

I'll try to sum this up and I hope you can follow along. Im 22 and I found out I have genital HSV1 six weeks ago and unfortunately my first outbreak was spread to a partner who is on his way to be a singer and is well known, so to say the least he hates me and blocked me on all social media because his "label" believes im a threat to his image. I also found out he was using me to cheat on his girlfriend (who I was told was his ex)..he played a great game of the awful clingy ex and the guy who is bettering himself..look what happened..Anyways, I had to inform 4 other partners (yes, I had a lot of sex). 2 of the disclosures weren't my choice..let's call them guy A and B. Guy A touched me without consent (oral sex) when I was dunk, I freaked out immediately and I had to tell him. Guy B, I was with way before I got diagnosed, but my girl "friend" (who I told my Dx about in confidence) got mad at me when I told her that guy A touched me and said I was a foul person and then messaged A and B to protect them caus I was "spreading an STD on purpose". Neither of them are mad and respect me. She's also mad that the singer was her best friend and blames me because stopped talking to her for remaining my "friend". Thankfully I spoke to both of them before she did and guy B is confirmed to be "healthy with high blood pressure" lol and A is patiently waiting.  So that's 5 partners total who were informed ...which was hard enough,  although no one is mad except for the singer. But anyways, this girl has told other people as well and I keep hearing that someone else knows. My other girl friend said her babies father called her and said "I heard ____ is burning". Him and his group of friend hate me for unrelated childish reasons and they are using this info to tell everyone out of spite. Idk how I can cope with this when everone around me knows me as the girl that's "burning". I still have great friends though and most if not alll the people talking are going nowhere in life (and that's not angry talk it's very true, my city sucks). Even though I removed myself from the immature and angry people it's still hurtful to know my names is being dragged through the dirt. I'm not even sure I'm asking for advice, I just need to vent and maybe find someone on here who was had their diagnosis broadcasted to the world and how they managed it.

This too shall pass.  Remember that when good stuff happens, too.  Main thing is informing partners.  Since 60-80% have it, you are in the majority.  Test.  Test.  Test.  Before sex.  It is only 49 bucks to test at anylabtest.com for and igg hsv1/hsv2 specific test.

Well worth it.  Since women are built differently, they are more likely to get hsv genitally than men.  

Respect yourself and test.  You will thank me later.  Then you know what you are getting into.  Trust me.  

[HarrisonIs]

That's a really shitty situation, you've just got to get confident about it rock that shit. Just be like "yes I have it, so do about 80% of the population!".

Situations like this just make you realise how you've got to cut these negative people out of your life and move on