Jump to content

Got Herpes In Trade For My Virginity


Recommended Posts

I lost my virginity to a girl last week and now I have genital herpes. I'm scared to death right now, I've already read up quite a bit, but it hasn't helped a lot. Not sure what I should do, I'm just so utterly scared right now :'(

1. I'm scared of taking a shower as it's the primary infection and can spread to other parts of the body right now. What do you guys recommend? Is it okay if I wait till the primary infection passes over to bathe?

2. What are the real HSV 1 and HSV 2 statistics in United States? I've read a few different sources and they all state different stats. 

3. I live with my parents and really don't want to tell them as it'll freak them out and give them unnecessary stress. That being said, we have a common laundry bucket and my parents primarily do the laundry. Is there a chance I might pass it on to them? I know that the herpes virus only survives 10 seconds outside the body? 


Link to comment
Share on other sites

1) Purchase gloves and use them when touching your genitals. After removing the gloves wash your hands with warm water and soap. Dry your hands with a paper towel and dispose of it. Try bed baths first with washing your genitals last. Use a paper towel to dry your genitals. If you use a towel don't use it on the rest of your body. Leave the towel out to dry by itself or use a blow dryer on hot on the area you used to dry your genitals.

2) Stats do differ.

3) I would imagine a primary infection is stronger. I would handle my own dirty laundry since they won't know to take precautions.


* It'll get better with time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was worried about this too when I was infected.

I followed these rules with no extension to any other part of my body:

1. Good hand washing is huge. Wash them with warm water and good soap after you touch your bits. You can use hand sanitizer too (on your hands!) if you feel it helps. I did as an added security. I never used gloves.

2. Don't touch your junk and then touch your face. Keeping clean is important but wash your bits last in the shower after you wash your hair and face etc.

3. Avoid touching your bits during breakouts. Helps them heal a lot faster.

I wouldn't worry about laundry. Chances of transmission through clothing being washed is next to nil. But yeah, do your own loads of laundry if it makes you feel better.

Drop me a line if you feel the need to chat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry. I was also a vigin when I got this. My heart goes out to you. Have you been to a doctors? I think my biggest mistake was being scared and not getting the treatment I needed. I kept letting it go fir almost a month! Go get checked, doctors deal with things like this all the time and as for your family you don't need to tell them if you don't want to. I choose to tell after a few mo this and they were very supportive. Sending you good vibes. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, welcome to the club! Herpes being scary is just a front so we don't get too many people joining all at once. (alright so crotch issues arent the most fun, but the majority of people with herpes come to feel that it's not a big deal)

1. Herpes is spread through direct skin to skin contact from an infected site to an infectable site. If you are flexible enough to touch your mouth or eyes to your genitals, refrain from doing that until everything is cleared up. No need to worry about showers/baths other than if its painful for you.

2. The reason the stats differ is because hsv testing is not consistently offered or encouraged in the USA so a certain amount is approximate. It's about 1 in 4 ladies, 1 in 5 guys, but the basic gist is that its fairly common (super common if you also include oral hsv)

3. Laundry is fine. As mentioned, herpes is spread through direct skin to skin contact. So don't rub your genitals on your parents.

As other people mentioned, if you have not been tested, you should do that. If you still have an ob they might be able to swab it. If not, you may have to wait 3 months for an IGG blood test (it takes about that long for your body to make antibodies detectable in blood, hsv itself is not in the blood). Hope that cleared some things up for you!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi @jasonstunt. Sorry to hear about your experience. That sucks. But, you are going to be okay. I've had h 21 years and at first I was also really scared about spreading it. Especially to my face and hands. That never happened. Mucous membranes are more porous, as they are meant to allow the body to release moisture. But the rest of your skin is actually a fairly good barrier to hsv. You really need a cut or some kind of open sore for the hsv to get in on non mucous membrane skin. So, my advice is wash your hands with soap and warm water, just like the rest of polite society, after you touch your genitals. I'm still careful about my eyes but I'm not worried about it. 

It's totally okay for you to bathe. In fact, I think it's important to keep everything down there clean. And I think, emotionally you'll do better if you're maintaining more of a normal existence. Just use a little common sense and don't do something like rub the towel on a very bad h sore and then rub that same towel spot imediately and vigorously into your eyes. Even that might not spread it, but you get my drift. When I'm visiting family, I tend to not leave my towels in the bathroom where someone else might use them. But that's more our of politeness that any fear they would get h. At home I have shared a bathroom with my boyfriend for 12 years and he has used my towels and never had a problem. 

The statistical data on hsv is not ideally taken or kept. Some surveys include people as young as 12 years old. Almost none of them include anyone over 50 and that's a huge part of the poputation not counted. It's been a couple years since I looked into the stats so maybe that's changed. 

Please feel free to pm me if you have any questions or want to talk about things. Sending a hug. Remember you are going to be okay.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus do you really thing that above my symptoms are Herpes related? Or it may because of Herpes zoster shingles? Bcz of this my Igm is positive?
    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus i requested my partner, but they are refusing from testing and saying they dint had any symptoms. Now the only way i left is to wait untill 12 weeks window period right? I am not getting what to do in this case. Any suggestion for any other tests?
    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.