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How long from exposure to Outbreak is possible?


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I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with HSV2 vaginally at 40.  It's been AWFUL.  Three full weeks of constant pain and horrible lesions in terrible locations.  Awful fatigue and depression to go with it.

I have been with my fiance exclusively since August and he has never had a symptom of genital herpes in his life (is older and has had MANY more partners than me).  I made one mistake about a year ago and had vaginal sex with someone without a condom.  I didn't notice any lesions, but I wasn't looking.  Could it be that I was exposed that long ago and just now had an outbreak?  Could my fiance have HSV2 on his mouth (he gets about one cold sore a year, but has since a small child)?  We are totally at a loss and not knowing is stressing us out more.  We don't know if we should/can have sex before our wedding, if a bloodtest on his part would be helpful, or what to do next?  HELP!

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Your fiancé is the source here no question. Infection will have occurred a few days before the sores commenced.

I suspect you may have had an untyped swab? Doctors often assume HSV-2 given genital location but either type is possible.

Hence your partner testing will tell you which types are feasible. 

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I have to agree with WilsonInAus. Your situation sounds about the same as what happened to me. 

My girlfriend never had a symptom, after a year and a half I got it too. Flu like symptoms were the giveaway that was where my infection came from. Similar to you...

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    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus do you really thing that above my symptoms are Herpes related? Or it may because of Herpes zoster shingles? Bcz of this my Igm is positive?
    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus i requested my partner, but they are refusing from testing and saying they dint had any symptoms. Now the only way i left is to wait untill 12 weeks window period right? I am not getting what to do in this case. Any suggestion for any other tests?
    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
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