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New to the forum - hsv2


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Hey everybody. Pretty new to the forum, spent most of my time thus far just reading through different threads.

I've got asymptomatic HSV2 and am struggling with the communication side of things. I haven't disclosed to the girl I've recently started dating but am prepping for that conversation. Any guidance is appreciated!

Also looking for connections in or around Chicago. Strange feeling being late 20s, good career, and fit and all of the sudden the dating /sex scene seems to disappear for a while!



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Hi! I'm in the same boat.  I'm in my late 20's, have a great career, and should be dating but I'm struggling with the thought of sharing this personal information with just anyone.  But when I found out that I had HSV2 last summer, I was in a new relationship.  Telling him I had HSV2 was not easy, but I felt much better once I did tell him.  I didn't make it sound like it was the end of the world, and didn't paint myself in a negative light.  I told him that I had a rash show up on my outer thigh, I got tested and it turned out to be hsv2 also known as genital herpes.  He didn't freak out like I thought he would.  In fact he didn't really know anything about HSV.  So I educated him as best as I could.  I told him that I cared a lot about him but understand if this is a deal breaker for him,  because he is at risk of getting the virus.  To my surprise he still wanted to date me.  The relationship ended for other reasons, but now I know that when I do find someone I feel comfortable enough sharing that with, I'll know how to go about it.

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@Kelly24 thanks for the reply! I'm at the exact moment prior to talking through it. Great to hear that first time went well for you.

sounds like you've been able to keep things rolling. I will see how this one goes and then keep trying it out to see what happens.

let me know if you ever need a soundboard!

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Welcome to HC!  There is a good post somewhere about communicating with a partner.  I haven't seen it in a while but I'll take a look for it.  You're lucky you are asymptomatic, did you find out?

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@Evaluate yep haven't had any symptoms so it does make it a bit easier to deal with. I actually disclosed last night for the first time to a beautiful girl I've been dating and she was ok with it. Spent the night with her and it was like nothing changed. It was definitely nerve wracking!

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@Evaluate Agreed! I'm doing a lot of research this week.

the big ones I've heard are daily antivirals, no sex during an OB (I don't seem to get them so I think i'm ok on this one), taking vitamins, and staying healthy in general.

Any other suggestions / places to look?

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    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus do you really thing that above my symptoms are Herpes related? Or it may because of Herpes zoster shingles? Bcz of this my Igm is positive?
    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus i requested my partner, but they are refusing from testing and saying they dint had any symptoms. Now the only way i left is to wait untill 12 weeks window period right? I am not getting what to do in this case. Any suggestion for any other tests?
    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
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