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Pendalton 1910


UprisingMadness

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So a couple weeks ago I messed up big time. A friend of mine came over and we started shooting Pendalton 1910. If you don't know what that is, it's an expensive whisky, and I am not a whisky drinker. I ended up "black out" drunk and we had sex. I did not disclose to him in this state, not on purpose obviously, I never intended on even having sex w him. I had no makeup on, was in sweats, and hadn't shaved anything...we have always just been friends and I wanted to keep it that way.  We have been good friends since high school (I'm 34 now)and He considers me his best friend.

Needless to say, I felt awful the next morning. I couldn't remember anything, just very small bits and pieces from the night before. I called him to ask him if I told him anything about me before we had sex. He said I didn't, so I had to let him know. He of course was a little quiet and seemed a bit upset, but then was okay with it, and still wants to be "f" buddies.  He is literally the only person that this has happened with. I have disclosed to 6 guys total since I have found out I was positive and only slept with 3. Not because they didn't want to sleep with me, but for various reasons I did not want to sleep with them.

The reason I'm posting this is because everyone fucks up, we are human. I did not lie to anyone and I sure as shit never want to give this to anyone.  It was an honest mistake. This is a support forum and people on here sometimes attack their peers. It's not cool. Getting people worked up and upset is not what this is for, it's for bonding, learning, expressing, and loving because we are all dealing with the same disease.  With that being said, there are also so very lovely people on this forum too...I heart you;-)

As for my friend, who I could have possibly given this to, by being reckless, he is okay. He hasn't had an OB, I'm on antivirals, I've offered to pay for him to get tested in about 3 mos if he never gets an OB, and I also know that he already has oHSV1 because he told me.  I am still by his side and we still hang out, and just yesterday he asked me to go to his grandmas funeral with him....I took off work to be there for him. That's what true friendships and companionships are made of. I would never desert him. He knows me and knows I wouldn't ever do something like this on purpose, I'm not made from that stock.

Keep living, loving, and don't beat yourself up for your mistakes. They will happen time, and time again, and we need to learn to forgive ourselves and others...we're all in this together.:heart:

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honest mistakes happen.  live, learn and move on.  your friend shares a bit of the responsibility as well.  he carries the virus himself - was this a topic of discussion prior to any sexual contact?   i'm guessing you didn't force him into the act and he probably supplied the booze.  regardless, the only person you need to concern yourself with is your friend, not the anonymous judgements on this forum.  he's forgiven you and likely didn't contract the virus so try to relieve your conscience and enjoy the memory, at least the bits of it you can summon.

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You are correct on all of that. My conscience was relieved when he said "So do u want to go for round two, so this time you can remember.";)9_9

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7 hours ago, UprisingMadness said:

You are correct on all of that. My conscience was relieved when he said "So do u want to go for round two, so this time you can remember.";)9_9

Sounds like a keeper, you drunken !*@* you....:D
Seriously, he does. If you are friends first and lovers second, that is a good basis for a relationship.
And, like Snippy said- even Stevens. He didn't tell you, you didn't tell him.

It reminds me a bit of my own situation. The woman who gave me Hsv acquired it on a drunken one night stand, when we had broken up, and before we got back together.

We were, later, apart for 7 or so years but are back together, primarily because we missed our friendship so much. And it's wonderful. We are much better friends, as if making up for lost years has spurred us to understand and develop that friendship better and with more care.

Still get hammered....

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3 hours ago, adiebear said:

Sounds like a keeper, you drunken !*@* you....:D
Seriously, he does. If you are friends first and lovers second, that is a good basis for a relationship.
And, like Snippy said- even Stevens. He didn't tell you, you didn't tell him.

It reminds me a bit of my own situation. The woman who gave me Hsv acquired it on a drunken one night stand, when we had broken up, and before we got back together.

We were, later, apart for 7 or so years but are back together, primarily because we missed our friendship so much. And it's wonderful. We are much better friends, as if making up for lost years has spurred us to understand and develop that friendship better and with more care.

Still get hammered....

Ah, but he's a complicated guy. I do love him, but as a friend. He needs to work on himself before I would ever consider being with him seriously. I have my shit together and he doesn't. I'm not gonna be someone's sugar mama when I already am to two little girls;) He knows how I feel, I don't sugar coat anything for him, I've told him many times it's not gonna be like that.

I can't live without my dark beer and tequila!! Still gonna live my life:D

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4 hours ago, UprisingMadness said:

I can't live without my dark beer and tequila!! Still gonna live my life:D

I'm not that picky- and have a tendency to mix drinks anyway :)

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Thanks for posting this. If you have time could you please answer a question I have. This is pretty much what happened to me but in reverse. I was the one who got HSV from a drunk guy who didn't disclose to me.my question is do you think I should forgive him? He has repeatably apologized. I haven't seen him since but he wants to see me again. Since you know what it's like first hand do you think I should forgive him and try to get to know him better? I met him for the first time that night. I'd appreciate any advice. Thank you. 

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58 minutes ago, PurpleandGray said:

Thanks for posting this. If you have time could you please answer a question I have. This is pretty much what happened to me but in reverse. I was the one who got HSV from a drunk guy who didn't disclose to me.my question is do you think I should forgive him? He has repeatably apologized. I haven't seen him since but he wants to see me again. Since you know what it's like first hand do you think I should forgive him and try to get to know him better? I met him for the first time that night. I'd appreciate any advice. Thank you. 

It is really up to you. Obviously you liked him in the first place to sleep with him, so maybe if he wants to see you again, you should give it a go...you might have a lot in common. 

I wasn't ever mad at my giver I just wanted to know who gave it to me. It was one of two guys and both say they don't have it...but it couldn't be anyone else. I am friends with one and the other guy was someone I just met (we were talking for a week). I have a hard time holding grudges and being mad at ppl for too long. It takes a lot of energy to stay mad at someone. 

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