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Never To Have Sex Again


Tay2x

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So I just found out that I have hsv-2 last week after having had already been in pain for a week. My outbreak is clearing up even though I haven't exactly been completely on track with the acyclovir which is making me think perhaps it isn't necessary. I would like the disclose that I am 17. Freshly 17 at that. Just lost my virginity in August and have only been with 3 people (not including my ex gf). I think it's really messed up how people are like well you shouldn't have been having sec anyways , or try to write my case off because I "caught it being young, dumb, and irresponsible" . It's supper annoying and doesn't help with the depression at all. 

Anyways, my point. The guy I've been involved with for the past 6 months. I love him to death, I do. And no I'm not one of those kids that just throws the word around. I know he loves me. He's been trying to help me through this on top of his own shit and I really appreciate him for it, it's just hard to be the same after finding out something like this. I know it's hard for him, I was so ready for him to freak out and leave me but he maintained his composure, sure he had his moments but he's really trying to be supportive. 

Today we tried to have sex again for the first time since my OB. I couldn't even let him stick it in, as soon as he pushed , it hurt. Is that normal ? What can I do about that or will it hurt forever? Can I not have sex anymore?  Then there's the mental aspect. I'm not mentally there yet but I don't want him to feel like I don't want him and I don't want to cause a rift in the tide you know? I just don't want to give him something even though he swears up and down that if he gets it , he's fine because he loves me and he understands. I just don't want that responsibility. My first OB was AWFUL ! I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy especially not him. I don't know what to do ...

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Hi @Tay2x and welcome to the website.

The first thing to note is that as you have been with this guy for the last 6 months, he is most probably the source of HSV. The good news here is that you cannot technically give it to him again. There is no reason at all for him to leave you on account of herpes (which would still be true if he didn't have herpes!)

How did you learn that you have HSV-2? Was this through a swab or blood test? What were the results? It may be that HSV-1 is a possibility here.

Things can be a bit tricky for a few months in many cases. A few outbreaks and a long healing time after the first few outbreaks is normal. However it is very likely that everything will be normal, just be patient... I'm sure your boyfriend will be too when he learns he has given you this virus most likely.

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You'll be able to have sex, but it won't be for a little while. There's a possibility of ulcers on your innards that would make any friction unbearable. This will probably be the case during some outbreaks you have. So, no, it won't hurt forever.

On the mental side of things, I hope your boyfriend understands that you can't just bounce back to regular life after hearing news like this. Since your life has changed in such a drastic way, it's going to take time to feel the same way about your self like you did before. 

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Some of it can be your mind being on the fact that you have herpes and if he does not have it you will be conscious of not transmitting it to him but secondly also try lube because I found initially I was quite dry but it really is about relaxing remember.  It would be a good idea to get your results from your doctor so you know exactly what you're dealing with in terms of the type of herpes you have

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I think it is important to get a full printout of all test results. This will help understand exactly what you have and provide some indicators toward future issues that you may or may not have with the virus.

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