Do you think oral herpes should be disclosed?

[Skye249]

Apologies if I am repeating a thread, but for those of you who think genital HSV should be disclosed (either type), do you also think that oral/facial HSV (either type) should be disclosed, and if so, just for sex or for kissing also?

Based on the facts, I think if you know, either type should be disclosed wherever you have it, in a sexual situation (and ideally before a kiss (if you wouldn't have sex with someone without telling them but you would kiss them, it's reinforcing the idea that HSV doesn't matter if its not on your genitals).

Not everyone has HSV1, so I think people should respect that.

 

[impugn]

Both a close family friend and I have gotten genital herpes from hsv1. 

It was devastating for the both of us and they happened similar ways.

Her parter had a cold sore on his mouth and she was unaware you could get ghsv1 

and

my partner had sores in her mouth or was asymptomaticly shedding which I think is rare but very possible with hsv1 orally. 

Before sex she said she was clean. After sex with this girl she started to causually tell me she had very bad cold sores in the past and long behold I left, went home and sat around all nervous and bam 2 days later I got mild symptoms and about 10 days later I got full blown symptoms. I got both oral and genital herepes hsv1

In short YES you should disclose hsv1 both kissing and oral sex, it can ruin someone's life. I'm only 20 and my family friend was 18 at the time (a lot older now) and it was like her 2nd sexual encounter. 

 

The emotional side effects of herpes is sometimes way worse than the physical effects. For many people this is this case. I now fear dating, I fear I can't have a family, I fear so so much. Herpes is a huge limitation. If anyone doesn't disclose I see them as a scumbag. 

Edited March 20, 2017 by impugn

[Skye249]

I am sorry to hear that impugn. Please don't fear dating or having a family. With antivirals and condom use (for when you're not trying to start a family) you have very little chance of passing it on to someone else. 

[Atrapasueños]

Estoy de acuerdo contigo yo con besar a una chica puse fin a mi vida no tuve sexo con ella pero fue suficiente para obtener herpes oral y genital y la gente que tiene herpes genital dicen que no es necesario divulgar herpes oral 

@impugn I agree with you I kiss with a girl I put an end to my life I did not have sex with her but it was enough to get oral and genital herpes and people who have genital herpes say that it is not necessary to spread oral herpes

[Evaluate]

3 minutes ago, Atrapasueños said:

Estoy de acuerdo contigo yo con besar a una chica puse fin a mi vida no tuve sexo con ella pero fue suficiente para obtener herpes oral y genital y la gente que tiene herpes genital dicen que no es necesario divulgar herpes oral 

@impugn I agree with you I kiss with a girl I put an end to my life I did not have sex with her but it was enough to get oral and genital herpes and people who have genital herpes say that it is not necessary to spread oral herpes

It is impossible for oral herpes to turn into genital herpes unless there was cross contamination after acquiring it (touching your penis after touching a sore on your mouth).  The nerve systems are different and it doesn't work that way.

[Atrapasueños]

Habla español @Evaluate

[Evaluate]

1 minute ago, Atrapasueños said:

Habla español @Evaluate

Unfortunately I do not.

[Atrapasueños]

espero me entienda, yo salí con una chica que me gustaba todo fue normal solo que al despedirme de ella nos besamos a los 3 días siguientes empecé a tener síntomas raros fui al médico le expliqué y me diagnosticó herpes labial sin tener una lesión, no lo quize creer pero en las siguientes semanas   mis síntomas aumentaron y me hice la prueba de sangre igg IgM dio positivo fui con el médico me recetó aciclovir pero no me dio ninguna recomendacion, ya para esas fechas yo empecé a tener ardor en mi ingle espalda y piernas y empecé a tener dolores al caminar, fue cuando me di cuenta que me lo había propagado a mis genitales, fui a un infectologo me revisó pero dijo que no era herpes, que era mi estrés y ansiedad pero yo estoy seguro que si tengo herpes genital, ya que mis síntomas de ardor no desaparece y tengo pequeñas pertuberancias en espalda estómago y nalgas  ahora no e vuelto a ir al médico ni e tomado medicamento

 

@Evaluate I hope I understand, I went out with a girl that I liked everything was normal only to say goodbye to her we kissed the next 3 days I began to have rare symptoms I went to the doctor I explained and diagnosed cold sores without an injury, Quize believe but in the following weeks my symptoms increased and I did the IgG IgG blood test was positive I went with the doctor I prescribed acyclovir but he did not give me any recommendations, since for those dates I started to have burning in my groin back and legs And I began to have pain when walking, it was when I realized that I had spread it to my genitals, I went to an infectologist checked me but said it was not herpes, it was my stress and anxiety but I'm sure if I have genital herpes , Since my burning symptoms do not go away and I have small bumps on the back stomach and buttocks now I do not go back to the doctor nor taken medicine

Edited March 21, 2017 by Atrapasueños

[JHenry]

7 hours ago, Evaluate said:

It is impossible for oral herpes to turn into genital herpes unless there was cross contamination after acquiring it (touching your penis after touching a sore on your mouth).  The nerve systems are different and it doesn't work that way.

Please explain, give an example.   I'm not disputing, just not following.   Thanks.

[Displaynamepublic]

I've had one cold sore ever in my life and that was when I was 15. I'm 23 now and have never disclosed that I've gotten a cold sore before. My current boyfriend I told just casually because to me coldsores are common. My whole family has them. But I know they are contagious and would never have contact with someone having an active cold sore. Luckily I've only ever had one. Can cold sores turn into gh? 

[LiveLife100]

@Displaynamepublic, let me try to clarify. There are 2 types of HSV. HSV-1 that prefers oral but can be oral or genital, and HSV-2 which prefers genital but can rarely be oral. 

Your oral HSV is HSV-1. It doesn't "turn into genital HSV" on you (there are cases of autoinnoculation - but rare and typically before building antibodies, not in an established infection) but if you are shedding the virus and perform oral sex then you can transmit your HSV-1 to genital HSV-1 to your partner. Hope this makes sense!

[Displaynamepublic]

18 minutes ago, LiveLife100 said:

@Displaynamepublic, let me try to clarify. There are 2 types of HSV. HSV-1 that prefers oral but can be oral or genital, and HSV-2 which prefers genital but can rarely be oral. 

Your oral HSV is HSV-1. It doesn't "turn into genital HSV" on you (there are cases of autoinnoculation - but rare and typically before building antibodies, not in an established infection) but if you are shedding the virus and perform oral sex then you can transmit your HSV-1 to genital HSV-1 to your partner. Hope this makes sense!

So is it possible to have given hsv-1 to my partner, him not show symptoms, and transmit to me through sex?

[LiveLife100]

@Displaynamepublic, I try to not say "always" and "never" because there can certainly be an exception... but once you have an established oral HSV-1 infection you will have established antibodies that will prevent you from acquiring it in another location (people that have HSV-1 in both locations typically acquired them at/around the same time). That is the general rule. So if you do in fact have genital HSV and have had oral HSV for a long time, then it is likely gHSV-2. Please have your OB swabbed and typed. Also get an IgG bloodtest. If your swab is positive for HSV-2 and your blood is negative, then it's likely a new infection and from your current partner. If your swab is negative you can also retest your blood after ~ 16 weeks to confirm. Remember, 80% of people with HSV-2 don't know they have it. They either have no symptoms or a-typical symptoms (or I suppose they are in denial!). Viral shedding is said to occur even without symptoms present.

[valleynovascotia]

23 hours ago, Skye249 said:

Apologies if I am repeating a thread, but for those of you who think genital HSV should be disclosed (either type), do you also think that oral/facial HSV (either type) should be disclosed, and if so, just for sex or for kissing also?

Based on the facts, I think if you know, either type should be disclosed wherever you have it, in a sexual situation (and ideally before a kiss (if you wouldn't have sex with someone without telling them but you would kiss them, it's reinforcing the idea that HSV doesn't matter if its not on your genitals).

Not everyone has HSV1, so I think people should respect that.

 

I think kissing is optional because so many people have them or have been exposed but i guess disclose would be the ethical thing to do but how many people really disclose my guess is not alot. However i think its always necessary to disclose if ur going to perform oral sex because that can cause genital herpes.

Edited March 21, 2017 by valleynovascotia

[Atrapasueños]

Para mi el herpes oral no es opcional yo no voy arruinar la vida de alguien sin su consentimiento

 

For me oral herpes is not optional I will not ruin someone's life without their consent

[Lisajd]

There are two aspects to this one there is the people that know that oral herpes can cause genital herpes through oral sex and would disclose Ir just not do oral and not disclose and there are those who actually have no idea that having a cold sore can cause ghsv1 and therefore dont disclose.

The reason why so many people have genital HSV 1 is because people don't know that giving oral sex can do that and/or  assume without an ob it cant happen.  I saw a case not long ago about a woman who has been with her partner, he has had oral herpes for 20 years and gave it to her and he was not having an outbreak

[Sanguine108]

yeah... HSV is HSV in my mind and if someone you "care" about is at risk then they should be given the heads up.

My giver had oral HSV-1 and lied to me saying that she was clean.  She gave me oral and genital hsv1.  My mistake for trusting her.

[WilsoInAus]

Well bless my soul, I am truly incensed by those comments.

The most common way of transmission is from a mother to her child. You cannot possibly suggest that there is a lack of care there. Why would there be a lack of care in other circumstances?

Again it is really annoying for someone who has been on this site along time to suggest that having HSV-1 makes someone somehow unclean. Thanks for the sentiment, but really I for one could do without out.

And lastly as those these comments were not vile enough, it needs to be pointed out again that you have NEVER swabbed positive and you have NEVER tested positive for HSV. Yet some how you feel you have the right to denigrate someone as 'giver'. These are facts people deserve to know to put your comments in their appropriate context. Something that I wouldn't think would be all that difficult.

You really need to reflect on the above comments and I hope you see sense to apologise for them. I can only hope you are having a bad day.

[Lisajd]

Wilsoinaus there is a difference between a mother kissing a child and giving them hsv1 than a person giving oral to someone causing ghsv1.  Tou dont deal with the stigma when its on your mouth.  

[Sanguine108]

Not that it matters to re-emphasize it but I have been tested and am positive for HSV-1.  When I was first tested (4 weeks after exposure; June 2015) I was negative. I tested again August 2016 and was positive for HSV1.

There's a view in Indian spirituality that ignorance is not an excuse for another's suffering.  Selfishly putting an unknowing other at risk for ephemeral moments of intimacy?  Are you saying that's ok bc I don't think it is without some type of disclosure.

[WilsoInAus]

800 posts later suddenly a magic positive test, magic.

I am saying that disclosure is not always required, yes. What each of us believe is up to us.

However it is a bit hypocritical to be pious about disclosing HSV when you do not disclosure CMV, EBV, HPV, HHV6 etc. Those viruses actually can harm someone!

[WilsoInAus]

And no @Lisajd there is no difference between tarnsmitting from mother to child or lover to lover. In both cases it is simply a human outcome from an expression of love. No malice on any part, just connection.

[Sanguine108]

Oh you're ridiculous. It's a relief that you're no longer a moderator with your perception of things.

[K_Sock]

@WilsoInAus

Sure. HSV is passed from 'mother to child' or 'lover to lover', but it's not an expression of love...it's a consequence! The former especially is something that the population should work to minimize.. The latter is something that two consenting adults should be knowledgeable about and discuss.

That is common sense.. Lives get irrevocably changed due to HSV. I'm someone who has oral HSV-1 (the "majority") but I no longer kiss/hook-up with anyone unless they have HSV-1..I don't care about location. Not saying it's right or wrong, but I refuse to hurt someone...and hurt myself knowing that I would have irrevocably hurt someone.

Anyways, as per the topic, oral HSV should absolutely be disclosed. It's a virus that can hurt someone... This forum is so obsessed with location of infection, but think about it, i'm a man who contracted oral hsv-1 and I certainly want to pleasure, and be pleasured, by my partner in all ways. As that includes oral sex, clearly oral & genital HSV-1 would be a risk of me getting/passing in any relationship.

[Gamma]

valleynovascotia,

It would have been nice to know that my wife was HSV-1 positive, but she probably figured that I was too. It took 12 years and change, but I'm about 99% sure she gave it to me recently.