I partially blame the CDC

[new2ya]

 From what ive read the CDC has said dont bother testing because it wont effect people from spreading the virus,  The lack of testing should be public knowledge .......common public knowledge. Here is my story i want your opinion.

  Long story condensed, I request a full std check between relationships , and i primarily use condoms. Ive been married most of my life so the need to do so has been limited to birth control. After my second divorce i was like a dog off a porch and i dated a lot , again primarily using condoms ( occasional screw ups happen but none where one night stands all where 1 year or so relationships ). Between each relationship i got tested for my benefit as well as any new possible relationship. In mid 2015 i ended a relationship after testing positive for chlamydia , not because i contracted it from her but because she had contracted it from the guy she was cheating on me with. ( she admitted it ).

  Fast forward  to mid 2016 when my childhood crush popped back into my life and i was happy as hell till i got my second outbreak and diagnosed in jan 2017 with hsv 1 and 2.  ( the first was in  December 2016 and i thought it was heat rash ). So logically i go back to my paperwork of my clean test before being with her and look for negative results. The thing is by this time i have done some research and i know herpes is HSV , but i dont see HSV  on my results, hell i dont see it on any of my previous tests!  I thought maybe i just dont understand the terms on the test so i call the doctor from my last test.  To which i was informed "we dont test for herpes unless a patient is showing signs of it". WTF!!!  When i ask for a full std checkup im pretty sure the one that is the most common and infects the most people in the world should be on that list!!

 I did some research and in the US its not commonly tested for, the CDC says a positive result doesn't seem to effect peoples sexual behavior so why test for it. Am i the only one who thinks this mentality is helping with the spread?  Given the time frame after unprotected sex with my last partner i can only hope she infected me !! What if i got infected after my first sexual encounter and ive infected all the women ive been with then they infected their partners ....etc. All the time we thought we where virus free?  Hell turns out that when my second wife and i where trying to have a child and went through non stop tests they never checked for it!! I see people who are diagnosed with this all over the internet being responsible and telling their partner and taking precautions once they know.  Perhaps the CDC should know about this and help prevent the spread, not ignore it!!

 Seems im kinda a good luck chuck, every one of my exs got engaged or married withing 6 months of our break up to their dream guy. What if i was asymptomatic during all of those relationships but shedding. When that first outbreak happens how many lives have i ruined due to their partner thinking they where cheating? What if they get pregnant and pass it on to the kid?  All because its no point to test for it in the CDCs mind?

Prior to learning this info i told my ex ( who i miss ) she needed to be tested for stds but i never said herpes specifically. So now im faced with the embarrassment of having the talk whether i plan on being celibate the rest of my life or not. Im sure she got tested for stds but they left herpes out , and i couldn't live with myself not letting her know what she might carry.

 

 

 

 

[Lisajd]

The problem with testing via blood without an t active outbreak is that it can be unreliable and also because it takes 3 months for antibodies to develop it can come back with a false negative if someone is recently infected. So even if you have been tested if you were with someone 2 weeks prior that you had sex and they had HSV your result will show up as a false negative so you would have been none the wiser going into the next sexual relationship.  I know someone who was diagnosed what test and had a horrible outbreak and have a test a year later still showed up negative.  Apparently up to 30% of blood test can be unreliable so you are kind of almost playing with fire in a way.  

 If you are saying what you first thought was an outbreak in 2016 it's likely that you have contracted it back then and not sooner and not infected a whole heap of women.

I have also heard that doctors don't test someone without symptoms because if it comes back positive because of the mental anguish it can cause they don't think it's necessary.

For some having herpes is a real issue and 2 others it is not and doctors also don't think it is a big deal either.  When I was diagnosed it was about a swab test and my doctor said they don't do blood test without an outbreak.

[West end gal]

I agree testing is tricky, but the recommendation should be that doctors discuss the situation around HSV testing , etc...especially those requesting A comprehensive STD test. It's misleading ...

[new2ya]

They shouldn't lie and say oh yeah your fine no problem, if they have not tested for the most common problems. That is literally the same as handing someone a loaded gun saying don't worry i checked it. Myself i was concerned i had contracted it from a previous partner and had the whole work up to be safe.  Once you reach a certain age and know your partner has been tested and cant have kids then you should be safe if both of you are monogamous.

 The response of ohh......... sorry we didnt test for that shouldn't be something that happens. When i take my car in to be serviced and it breaks down due to no oil and the mechanic says ohhh...sorry i didnt check the oil because most cars have oil, or most people dont bother to care if they have oil. Is that acceptable?

 Checking for herpes could not only diminish the spread of it , it could also lead to a wider acceptance of it and knowledge about it.  But why bother? I hate to sound angry but i could have infected the one person ive really loved because i was not told the truth.

[Lisajd]

However until blood tests or other tests besides swabs 100% accurate they will not do it unless you believe that you have been exposed maybe..

[new2ya]

They should at least let you know they didnt test for it.

[kittenz]

I totally agree. I can't believe they don't test for it. I always get my annual STD screening done and every time they have told me everything came back negative. A few weeks ago I got my first outbreak, it was luckily very mild, and they swabbed it and came back positive for HSV2. Now I am in so much mental anguish over it, not knowing how long I've had it or which of my exes could have given it to me. Now I am in constant fear I have given it to the man I love not knowing I even had it.

[Whyyyyy]

This is my exact story! 

[Whyyyyy]

But if your just had your first outbreak confirmed by swab and negative igg blood test it may be from your current bf.

[cantdoit]

On 3/21/2017 at 9:46 PM, new2ya said:

 From what ive read the CDC has said dont bother testing because it wont effect people from spreading the virus,  The lack of testing should be public knowledge .......common public knowledge. Here is my story i want your opinion.

  Long story condensed, I request a full std check between relationships , and i primarily use condoms. Ive been married most of my life so the need to do so has been limited to birth control. After my second divorce i was like a dog off a porch and i dated a lot , again primarily using condoms ( occasional screw ups happen but none where one night stands all where 1 year or so relationships ). Between each relationship i got tested for my benefit as well as any new possible relationship. In mid 2015 i ended a relationship after testing positive for chlamydia , not because i contracted it from her but because she had contracted it from the guy she was cheating on me with. ( she admitted it ).

  Fast forward  to mid 2016 when my childhood crush popped back into my life and i was happy as hell till i got my second outbreak and diagnosed in jan 2017 with hsv 1 and 2.  ( the first was in  December 2016 and i thought it was heat rash ). So logically i go back to my paperwork of my clean test before being with her and look for negative results. The thing is by this time i have done some research and i know herpes is HSV , but i dont see HSV  on my results, hell i dont see it on any of my previous tests!  I thought maybe i just dont understand the terms on the test so i call the doctor from my last test.  To which i was informed "we dont test for herpes unless a patient is showing signs of it". WTF!!!  When i ask for a full std checkup im pretty sure the one that is the most common and infects the most people in the world should be on that list!!

 I did some research and in the US its not commonly tested for, the CDC says a positive result doesn't seem to effect peoples sexual behavior so why test for it. Am i the only one who thinks this mentality is helping with the spread?  Given the time frame after unprotected sex with my last partner i can only hope she infected me !! What if i got infected after my first sexual encounter and ive infected all the women ive been with then they infected their partners ....etc. All the time we thought we where virus free?  Hell turns out that when my second wife and i where trying to have a child and went through non stop tests they never checked for it!! I see people who are diagnosed with this all over the internet being responsible and telling their partner and taking precautions once they know.  Perhaps the CDC should know about this and help prevent the spread, not ignore it!!

 Seems im kinda a good luck chuck, every one of my exs got engaged or married withing 6 months of our break up to their dream guy. What if i was asymptomatic during all of those relationships but shedding. When that first outbreak happens how many lives have i ruined due to their partner thinking they where cheating? What if they get pregnant and pass it on to the kid?  All because its no point to test for it in the CDCs mind?

Prior to learning this info i told my ex ( who i miss ) she needed to be tested for stds but i never said herpes specifically. So now im faced with the embarrassment of having the talk whether i plan on being celibate the rest of my life or not. Im sure she got tested for stds but they left herpes out , and i couldn't live with myself not letting her know what she might carry.

 

 

 

 

For most it's a huge issue and yes it is the fault of the CDC for not testing. I specifically asked about how to test which is how I found out. 

[Lisajd]

1 hour ago, cantdoit said:

For most it's a huge issue and yes it is the fault of the CDC for not testing. I specifically asked about how to test which is how I found out. 

A lot of countries don't make it standard STD testing

[Itsminor]

1 hour ago, cantdoit said:

For most it's a huge issue and yes it is the fault of the CDC for not testing. I specifically asked about how to test which is how I found out. 

Actually for most its not an issue at all as they dont know the have it. 

And they get a partner than gets it but then they dont know they have it. 

And they live happily ever after. 

 

Ignorance is bliss. 

[cantdoit]

4 hours ago, Itsminor said:

Actually for most its not an issue at all as they dont know the have it. 

And they get a partner than gets it but then they dont know they have it. 

And they live happily ever after. 

 

Ignorance is bliss. 

Read threads. For many it causes huge health issues. So the fact they don't test for it is despicable. 

[TCBH]

I think it's an issue too.  I asked my gynecologist if he checks and he said "No!" unless there's symptoms.  He said why test when there is nothing he can do about it and all it does is cause psychological trauma. I told him he was helping to spread it, many people have issues beyond outbreaks, and maybe if general testing was done the numbers would be staggering enough to illicit more research for a cure or a prophylactic and more importantly we'd lose some of the stigma.  But it seems most of the medical community are "sticking their heads in the sand" about herpes.  I almost think it's criminal.  Big Pharma should be held accountable too....from what I hear the stigma didn't come about until the antivirals were introduced.  They played it up as this horrible disease (genital herpes) so people would by their medication. We need it but we not at the cost of our self worth.  (Putting away my soapbox) 

[Itsminor]

On 14/04/2017 at 1:50 PM, cantdoit said:

Read threads. For many it causes huge health issues. So the fact they don't test for it is despicable. 

Many do. But the vast majority have no issues at all. 

[new2ya]

I

On 4/14/2017 at 3:53 AM, Itsminor said:

Actually for most its not an issue at all as they dont know the have it. 

And they get a partner than gets it but then they dont know they have it. 

And they live happily ever after. 

 

Ignorance is bliss. 

And knowledge is powerful. I had for once had the joys of knowing my child hood love was my partner. After damn near 30 years something i wanted was there and it was real. After finding out i was positive all i could due was think she gave it to me. Id been tested for everything between partners , or at least that's what i was told. They lied to me! they let me think i was all good!! God damn it!

It had to be her , she had given me something id never get rid of. I spent some time silent as she was out of town for a sick friend. It sure as hell couldnt be me , id been tested for every thing i was all good. My mind raced.

After finding out they dont bother to test I spent weeks thinking about how could i be this terrible person who infected her! I could have infected the one person ive loved in my entire life that really loved me, it could be me that had done this. Had i known i would have taken precautions or how i would not have had taken the risk. God damn it some people care i dont give a shit what the cdc says.

 

[Stillme1968]

I was sexually active before I got married wwaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1992 and so was my husband. I went in and was diagnosed with Chlymidia also and was told take the meds and you are cured. Before we walked down the aisle both of us requested the blood test for STD's and this was partially because of the AIDS scare that was happening at the time. We were both given the clean bill of health. I conceived and gave birth to both my sons and was tested for STD's before vaginally delivering them and was told I was clean. See where I am going with this one? so when I was informed at the age of 46 that I tested positive for the antibodies for HSV 2 I was a bit ...miffed at the medical community. The nurse on the phone said they do not typically test for this unless specifically asked to.

[Itsminor]

16 hours ago, new2ya said:

I

And knowledge is powerful. I had for once had the joys of knowing my child hood love was my partner. After damn near 30 years something i wanted was there and it was real. After finding out i was positive all i could due was think she gave it to me. Id been tested for everything between partners , or at least that's what i was told. They lied to me! they let me think i was all good!! God damn it!

It had to be her , she had given me something id never get rid of. I spent some time silent as she was out of town for a sick friend. It sure as hell couldnt be me , id been tested for every thing i was all good. My mind raced.

After finding out they dont bother to test I spent weeks thinking about how could i be this terrible person who infected her! I could have infected the one person ive loved in my entire life that really loved me, it could be me that had done this. Had i known i would have taken precautions or how i would not have had taken the risk. God damn it some people care i dont give a shit what the cdc says.

 

Right. So does she know she has it? How did you find out you fid?

does it matter who gave it to who? 

Are you in constant pain?

you're childhood sweethearts for gods sake. 

You have a mild skin condition. Stop being such a drama queen and get on with life. 

If youd known youd have told her, shed havd said Bye! And you'd bd going "i lost my love vos of herpes!" And youd be suicidal, 

maybd the cdc Actually know what theyre doing. Or we'd have a health crisis on our hands. 

[Lisajd]

11 hours ago, Stillme1968 said:

I was sexually active before I got married wwaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1992 and so was my husband. I went in and was diagnosed with Chlymidia also and was told take the meds and you are cured. Before we walked down the aisle both of us requested the blood test for STD's and this was partially because of the AIDS scare that was happening at the time. We were both given the clean bill of health. I conceived and gave birth to both my sons and was tested for STD's before vaginally delivering them and was told I was clean. See where I am going with this one? so when I was informed at the age of 46 that I tested positive for the antibodies for HSV 2 I was a bit ...miffed at the medical community. The nurse on the phone said they do not typically test for this unless specifically asked to.

So if you were tested for HSV when you are pregnant and now have the antibody, then does that not mean that you've acquired it since then?

[Stillme1968]

10 minutes ago, Lisajd said:

So if you were tested for HSV when you are pregnant and now have the antibody, then does that not mean that you've acquired it since then?

nurse could not say for sure that I had actually ever been tested for Herpes..ever..

that most STD tests in 80's and 90's did not test for it and that no most of the std tests given to pregnant women were for syphillis and AIDS

[Itsminor]

19 hours ago, Stillme1968 said:

I was sexually active before I got married wwaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1992 and so was my husband. I went in and was diagnosed with Chlymidia also and was told take the meds and you are cured. Before we walked down the aisle both of us requested the blood test for STD's and this was partially because of the AIDS scare that was happening at the time. We were both given the clean bill of health. I conceived and gave birth to both my sons and was tested for STD's before vaginally delivering them and was told I was clean. See where I am going with this one? so when I was informed at the age of 46 that I tested positive for the antibodies for HSV 2 I was a bit ...miffed at the medical community. The nurse on the phone said they do not typically test for this unless specifically asked to.

You had a much better and happier life not knowing. I can tell you that for sure. 

[Stillme1968]

3 hours ago, Itsminor said:

You had a much better and happier life not knowing. I can tell you that for sure. 

I think of that from time to time...if it was from the boyfriend that messed around on me when I was 20 would I have still walked down the aisle and got married to my now ex? would I have still had both my babies? If I found out during my marriage that I had it would I have stuck with him til death due us part even if our marriage was in trouble and I was miserable? Funny thing is..though maybe not so funny..I never would have thought to even get tested after my divorce. I would have assumed I was a clean since I was faithful in my twenty year marriage and had no symptoms.

[K_Sock]

On 4/14/2017 at 3:53 AM, Itsminor said:

Actually for most its not an issue at all as they dont know the have it. 

And they get a partner than gets it but then they dont know they have it. 

Not sure that's fact. If the tests are inaccurate, as stated above by users, than the stats and all we know about transmission rates, asymptomatic people and everything else will be flawed. ..And of course it is flawed, anyone who thinks the majority of people have hsv is a dummy. 

On 4/14/2017 at 3:53 AM, Itsminor said:

And they live happily ever after. 

 

Ignorance is bliss. 

[Itsminor]

2 minutes ago, K_Sock said:

Not sure that's fact. If the tests are inaccurate, as stated above by users, than the stats and all we know about transmission rates, asymptomatic people and everything else will be flawed. ..And of course it is flawed, anyone who thinks the majority of people have hsv is a dummy. 

So you believe that it's not true that most people don't know they have it? Or have minor symptoms?

Blood tests are more false negatives not false positives. 

Which would  actually suggest that more people that have it don't know. 

[Itsminor]

On 4/20/2017 at 11:50 AM, Stillme1968 said:

I think of that from time to time...if it was from the boyfriend that messed around on me when I was 20 would I have still walked down the aisle and got married to my now ex? would I have still had both my babies? If I found out during my marriage that I had it would I have stuck with him til death due us part even if our marriage was in trouble and I was miserable? Funny thing is..though maybe not so funny..I never would have thought to even get tested after my divorce. I would have assumed I was a clean since I was faithful in my twenty year marriage and had no symptoms.

Stories like this really hammer home how stupid this virus is. think about it.

"I have no symptoms, it's had no effect on my life...until now. "

Why now?

Because I know. 

So wait... it's a condition with no symptoms causing no problem. But its a problem? 

I get it - transmission. 

I blame al the people with bad immune systems that can't cope. Ruining it for everyone! (joke)